Educational Institution Faction creatures: 1). Janitor– these creatures are born old and cranky,
they are found in every single Educational Institution without exception, where they play a
not entirely clear role. Their strength lies not even in numbers, but in the fact that they,
as a rule, have never previously graduated from any Educational
Institution.
Deadly Splashes: this creature can use its dirty mop or
broom to splash all nearby creatures to death,
regardless of their affiliation.
undead: : this creature cannot be restored, it is lifeless, and
its morale does not change if a demonic
creature is nearby; the creature has no mind and cannot be influenced, but
it is vulnerable to the Holy Word of Dismissal.
upgr: plumber – in the remote utility rooms and dark basements of
Educational Institutions dwell these mysterious creatures, who sometimes
crawl out into the daylight if they hear the call of creatures of level five
and above.
Mechanic: once a day this creature can repair mechanical
creations by order from above (windows, doors, tables, etc.)
Undead
Lethal Cloud: this creature can strike all creatures in adjacent rooms and even corridors with its poisonous
breath; the strength of the cloud depends on the amount drunk in the morning
Symbiosis: the creature can repair toilets and receive own help from them in case of a binge.
altupgr: caretaker – this creature stores so many
aphorisms and colorful expressions that it could earn a doctoral
degree, deeply and for a long time, however, it prefers to lead a
modest existence of its non-life within the walls of the Educational Institution.
Deadly Splashes
Undead
Drain: the creature can drain all containers with alcohol located within reach.
Deadly Touch: the creature will break at least one
thing among those it touches.
2). Schoolboy – these creatures are weak and, for the most part,
useless, however, they are the very foundation upon which all Educational
Institutions rest. They can be dangerous in large
gatherings, but this, as a rule, is easily dispersed with the appearance of
higher-level creatures.
Mana Destroyer: the creature daily reduces the amount of
mana of its parents.
Shooter: The creature can shoot solutions to other people's problems from a
distance. When the distance to a neighbor's notebook is more than three desks,
the creature receives only half of the neighbor's notes. The creature cannot
use a shooting attack when it is blocked by creatures of
level five and above.
Penalty Shooting: the creature cannot yet shoot at full
strength, and its shooting skill is always halved.
Betrayal: if 30% of creatures fail an exam or a lesson, then the remaining ones may snitch on others to avoid
the same fate.
upgr: part-timer – these schoolboys work part-time on the
side and miss many lessons, however, everyone pretends that this is how it should be, as they receive their share of profits
Mana Pumping: this creature can pump other people's
mana and transfer it to friendly creatures or take it for itself.
Taxpayer: the owner of the Educational Institution monthly
receives gold in proportion to the number of such creatures in their army.
altupgr: high schooler: – in the labyrinths and alleys of Educational
Institutions, not everyone can survive and avoid being eaten
and reanimated. Having survived a harsh struggle, passed through fire, water,
and examiner pipes, high schoolers are quite experienced in the matter of
Learning.
Shooter
Immunity to Fear: the creature's morale does not decrease if an enemy creature of level five and above is nearby.
Pack Attack: A teacher, to whom one
creature submits something, can be simultaneously bothered with the same problems by other
creatures of the same type.
Double Shot: the creature can shoot solutions in two
directions at once.
3). Graduate - creatures who have passed all exams in the
First Circle of the Educational Institution become graduates. This is an extremely
small number, but the most desired degree for all low-level creatures. These creations are always in a good mood; unfortunately,
it passes quickly.
Good Morale: this creature has already passed through all exams of the
First Circle, and therefore its moral state is always positive.
Immunity to Mind Influence: as a result of passing
exams, this creature is immune to threats from high-level
creatures.
Strike and Return: the creature can come to school, give a final beating to an annoying high-level creature, and return home without hindrance.
upgr: freshman student: – graduates who enter the Second
Circle of the Educational Institution become students. They retain many
properties of pupils, but at the same time become more seasoned and experienced.
Shooter
Double Shot
Stopping Shot: the creature can shoot assignments in such a way that it stops a noticing teacher halfway to itself and
pushes their initiative back as a consequence of applying the immune
spell “absent-mindedness”.
Betrayal altupgr: mercenary warrior – some high schoolers become
mercenary warriors. These ruthless creatures strike fear and horror into
even higher-level creatures – first, because of their
survivability, and second, absolute lack of principle.
Double Strike: the creature in melee always deals at least
two strikes.
Knockback Strike: the creature can knock back an opponent if it
hits them in certain body parts with certain pieces of equipment.
Fury: this creature is always in a fury, regardless of whether
someone in a friendly unit has perished.
Drain. 4). Upperclassman – those who master the mysteries of the Educational
Institution are granted the title of upperclassman. They can
use a special set of spells, which makes these creatures particularly
dangerous.
Shooter.
Shooting without Penalty: the creature can shoot problem solutions from a
desk located at any point in the classroom and not get caught
by a creature above level five.
Combat Pause: the creature can simultaneously load all creatures of level five and above, located in the same
classroom, with its questions. The immediate teacher receives the full
solution to the problem and can answer something to it, while all others
receive only a bunch of formulas and half-baked solutions and do not answer.
Sorcerer: : the creature can use its characteristic set of
spells (magical answer – advanced level, punishing question –
advanced level, firewater – basic level, i.e., 3 for 150
or 2 for 250)
upgr: master – these creatures have already penetrated the secrets of the
Educational Institution so much that they have practically become part of it. They are strong,
experienced and very slippery; it is hard to hit them with a question.
Stunning Strike: the creature can stun an enemy creature
of level five and above with a dull but very complex and confusing
question. The stunned creature loses all initiative, returns to its
original chair and does not answer the given question.
Incorporeality: questions from enemy creatures hit this
creation only in 50% of cases.
Ammo Theft: the creature can steal answers from a book
right on the teacher's desk. The number of stolen answers
depends on the annual growth of grades in the record book.
altupgr: honor student – the most skilled students are
honor students. They know how to balance teachers and students,
and are also idols for all students, exactly twice a year. The presence of such creatures in the classroom sharply increases the morale
of all friendly creatures up to level four.
Commander's Presence: the morale of all creatures up to level 4,
located at neighboring desks, is always positive.
Large Shield: questions asked from a distance deal only 50% of normal damage to this creature.
Ally Protection: creatures up to level 4 located at
neighboring desks receive 50% less damage from questions asked
from a distance.
Endless Repulse: the creature answers all questions asked of it, except in cases where the question was asked by a creature whose special properties state “Enemy does not resist”.
Ammo Cart: the creature provides all shooters in
its classroom with an infinite ability to shoot.
5). Teacher – in fire-breathing classrooms and lavish
offices of the staff room and rectorate dwell the most powerful and
terrifying creatures of the Educational Institution – teachers. They are
sufficiently numerous, but nevertheless, a periodic growth is observed.
Large Creature: : this creature always tries to take up
more space and get more mana than it should.
Demonic Creature: the creature can summon help from the
dean's office/principal's office. Chain strike does not work on it, but it is
vulnerable to the Holy Word of Dismissal.
Flight: the creature reaches the target student regardless of
desks, sick leave certificates, trips and other obstacles
in its path.
Strike from the Heavens: creatures summon a verification
commission as if from thin air, which deals double damage to everyone it can. After this, the commission flies off to a random classroom.
upgr: examiner – those teachers who conduct an
exam are called examiners. They are most frightening to
students twice a year. Fortunately, such individuals are few.
Large Creature
Demonic Creature
Bloodlust: the creature's “Failing” parameter sharply increases if it or an allied teacher sends any unit of creatures up to level 5 for a retake. Bloodlust lasts for the entire exam or credit, and the effect accumulates.
Knight's Charge: The chance to fail a creature up to level 4 on
an exam increases proportionally to the time passed since the start of the
exam. Thus, for every hour passed, the chance increases by 10%.
Flight
Cleaver: if even one student or pupil was failed on an
exam, the creature will immediately try to fail another student
or pupil.
altupgr: head of studies – these are well-trained and very own durable
creations who often roam the expanses of the classroom, searching for
careless students and schoolboys and delivering them to a cruel death.
Large Creature
Demonic Creature
Banshee's Wail: the creature deals damage to all creatures up to level 4 caught in the corridor during lessons, and can strike even creatures of level five with its attack. The damage dealt depends on the
distance to the target and its fighting spirit; that is, those who are in the
front rows receive more damage and a chance to be
destroyed.
Paw Strike: the creature has a chance to strike the attacked party,
knocking them back to the previous course/grade.
6). Senior Teacher – these are powerful
mage-teachers exuding hatred for all living things. It is they who
spread deadly rules and term papers across the lands of the Educational Institution; they can also cast curses and weakening spells
on all students.
Large Creature
Demonic Creature
Sorcerer: : the creature can use its characteristic set of
spells (student suffering – advanced level, weakening
question – advanced level, term paper plague – expert level)
Wind Speaker: students say this creature recently
escaped from a mental asylum.
upgr: head of department – this terrifying creation rarely leaves the
limits of its burrow – the department. When it crawls out into the light, enemies
freeze in horror at the mere sight of it.
Large Creature
Demonic Creature
Fear Attack: : There is a probability that a creature that has received a question will run, trying to move as far away from the head of department as possible and losing all initiative accumulated by this time.
Withering Aura: every student within the distance of
one classroom has a chance to be expelled.
Chain Strike: the creature strikes all students along its line of attack with questions, and every second student receives a less
difficult question and has a chance to dodge.
altupgr: dean – one must never look deans straight in the
eyes. Unfortunately, not everyone knows this simple truth. Those who, out of stupidity or forgetfulness, neglect this rule risk
falling under the complete power of the dean.
Large Creature
Demonic Creature
Stupor: This creature has a chance during its attack to put a student to sleep for some time, baffling them with a given
question. A sleeping opponent is unable to move or answer questions and periodically loses the mana parameter. In addition, they receive a maximum reprimand from the dean.
Withering Aura
Enemy does not resist: as it might cost them more themselves.
Evil Eye: the creature can use its attacking questions to jinx
any record book
7). Director – this is the greatest product of academic thought.
Even one such creature is capable of causing many troubles and
destroying a huge number of low-level creatures.
Majestic and powerful, it forces others to bow in one way or another before its colossal scientific degree.
Very Large Creature
Resurrection: the creature can summon teachers who fell under the Holy Word of Dismissal back to work, as well as restore
students and pupils.
Six-Head Attack: when the creature asks questions, it creates the impression that a hungry hydra is before you.
Battle Fury: : when this creature receives an answer to its
question, its initiative temporarily increases by 2, and the difficulty of
questions by 5; duration depends on the complexity of the question for which the answer was received.
Deathly Gaze: the mere presence of these creatures reduces the
morale of students and pupils by 1.
upgr: vice-rector – many a teacher's bones were sacrificed for the position of vice-rector. To create such a ghastly beast, it was necessary to take the positions of all types of ordinary teachers, combine them in a special way into a single whole and then breathe status into the result, sacrificing the soul of a high-ranking head of department.
Teleportation of Others: this creature can teleport any
other creature to its office
Battle Madness: : each subsequent question from this creature
contains one and a half times more trickery.
Shearing Question: : every question of this creature is designed
to slay at least one student.
Deathly Gaze
Laying on of Hands: the creature can lay its grasping hands on public property.
altupgr: rector – great rectors come from the fiery
kingdoms of the Ministry of Education to lead the university army. They have the ability to teleport onto the University field,
which means no one can escape their cruelty. From the dismissed and
expelled, rectors can summon teachers to fight on their side.
Very Large Creature
Teleport: the creature can instantly move to any point in its Educational Institution.
Summon Teacher: once a year this creature can summon
new teachers to work, replacing those who fell under the
effect of the Holy Word of Dismissal.
Resurrection
Aura of Fear: : for all nearby creatures, morale decreases by at least three units
Chain Strike
Deathly Gaze.
Author: Zilant
Added after 4 hours 47 minutes
From American newspapers:
The FBI investigated one of the psychiatric hospitals in San Diego, suspected of insurance fraud. Agents drove out the staff, sealed the premises and spent the whole day bent over piles of documents, trying to prove or disprove the allegations. It is not surprising that by evening they had developed a serious appetite. They call the local Pizza Hut:
- Hello, I'd like to order nineteen large pizzas and fifty cans of Pepsi-Cola... no, better sixty.
- Where should we deliver?
- Do you know the psychiatric hospital at such-and-such address?
- The psychiatric hospital?
- Yes. Don't worry, I am an FBI agent.
- You are an FBI agent?
- That is correct. There are plenty of us here.
- And you are calling from a psych ward?
- That is correct. When you bring the pizza, ring at the back entrance, because we locked the main one.
- And you say that you are all FBI agents there?
- That is correct. In how many minutes can we expect you?
- Only FBI agents are sitting in the psychiatric ward?
- Exactly. We've been here for a long time. Everyone is terribly hungry.
- Uh... and how do you plan to pay?
- Cash, upon delivery.
- And you are all FBI agents?
- YES!!! There is no one here but FBI agents, understand? No one!! Don't forget to deliver the pizza and Pepsi to the back entrance. You won't forget?
- Oh, go to hell...
(hang up)
How to entertain yourself in a shared taxi1. Having gotten into the front seat, take out a suction-cup steering wheel and attach it to the dashboard.
Saying to the driver "I love Japanese cars - with right-hand drive!", start steering.
Turning around, ask passengers to pay for the fare.
Put the same money next to yourself.
To the questioning look of the driver, answer "I have an automatic transmission, don't worry, I won't touch your lever".
While moving, sharply turn the wheel strongly right, then strongly left.
At the same time, you can periodically shout: "Wow, *ly! You can't keep this thing in the rut!"
2. Enter the taxi with a black patch over one eye. Instead of money, place a slobbered-on glass eye in the driver's palm. Say that you have nothing else to pay with. Introduce yourself as Billy Bones.
3. Sitting in the front seat, pointedly and carefully examine the stereo, press a couple of buttons on it, take your phone, dial a number, say into the tube: "Hello, boss! The same damn thing is happening here with the radio! Yes, we'll take measures!". Get off at the next stop.
4. When passing money to the driver, each time hold out two fists and ask: "Guess which one?"
5. While in the cabin, stare intently at one of the passengers.
When he notices this, call on the phone, say into the tube: "Hello, boss! I found him!"
6. Play a pre-recorded female voice loudly on the phone: "Subscriber number identification program activated". Squinting cunningly, glance at the passengers.
7. Browse porn on your phone with loud sound. At the same time, make notes in a notebook, periodically biting the pen and thinking while looking at the ceiling.
8. Jumping up from your seat, look out different windows. Ask the passengers what city this is. Having received an answer, calm down and say: "Well, thank God! Not far left!"
9. Being near the automatic door, every time it closes, sharply stick your hand in the door and pull it back. Count loudly: "1:0", "2:0",...
10. Finding yourself by the window, glue a suction-cup dildo to the glass. Hang a bag on it. Nap. In your sleep, mutter loudly: "Leave me alone, you pest! I'm married!"
11. At every start from a stop, press into the seat, bulge your eyes and stretch your lips to your ears. At every braking, fall forward (preferably onto the floor) with a scream "Oy, *ly! You're not hauling firewood!"
:smile04: