Fun

:D :D :D :D Last night, I fell into depression and called a helpline. My call was forwarded to Pakistan. I said I was going to commit suicide. They were incredibly happy and asked if I knew how to drive trucks... ******************************************************** He: Listen, if I were to rape you, what would you do? She: I would be offended! He: Really? She: No... ******************************************************** I just ate 2 packs of yellow striped candy, washed down with milk. Question: should I wash the strawberries, or is it already too late? ******************************************************** A pig, a wolf, and a fox fell into a wolf pit. The fox looks around: the pig is food, great! In the other direction, there's a wolf, he'll be a pain, but whatever, there's food, I won't starve... The wolf looks around: the pig, great, food!!! In the other direction, the fox - oh, great, I'll have sex!!! The pig looks around, gets sad, and says: I understand, I'm doomed. I have one request, let me sing before I die. The wolf: Sure, entertain us before the end! The pig starts squealing loudly throughout the forest. Hunters hear it, rush over, and shoot the wolf and the fox. The wolf lies there, dying, and thinks: there was food, there was sex! No, damn it, I wanted a SHOW! :D :D :D :D