Auto-translated
Author: jura-khan
Here's how heroes from different factions would react if:
A dead dog is lying on their path.
- The Knight will wrinkle his nose in disgust and quickly pass by.
- The Mage will carefully examine the corpse for magical components to create minor artifacts.
- The Elf will bury the poor creature, loudly condemning the irresponsible attitude of other semi-intelligent races towards nature.
- The Dark Elf will whip the lazy slaves for not clearing the road of this filth in time.
- The Demon will salute the fallen comrade, extract the remaining mana from the corpse, and place traps around it before leaving.
- The Necromancer will order one of his soldiers: "Recruit this one."
- The Barbarian will check his bag. If there's still food left, he'll play soccer.
A fallen tree blocks the road.
- The Knight will pray to Erathia, asking him to grant his peasants magical strength, after which they will quickly saw it into logs.
- The Academic will open a book and choose the most intricate spell, then calmly move it to another location with the power of his mind.
- The Elf will talk to the tree. Maybe it will agree to move to another location? Or its companions will move it?
- The Dark Elf will snap her snake whip, after which the minotaurs will carry the mistress over the obstacle.
- The Demon will burn the tree. And also all the trees in the area, villages, castles, cities, kill all the animals, birds, and other creatures, after which, with a sense of accomplishment, he will continue on his way.
- The Necromancer will stroll to the nearest cemetery.
He passes by a tower with a princess imprisoned in it.
- The Knight will break into the tower and save the princess.
- The Academic will pass by. Girls no longer interest him.
- The Elf will charm the beauty and spend the night drinking wine with her, telling hunting stories.
- The Dark Elf will talk to her all night about how men are such jerks.
- The Demon will destroy the tower and kill the princess. As well as everyone who gets in his way.
- The Necromancer will stroll to the nearest cemetery. What does he need a princess for?
A bloodthirsty monster descends from the sky and attacks the hero.
- The Knight draws his trusty sword and kills the monster. After which, the peasants' "morale" sharply increases.
- The Academic doesn't get distracted by trivial things. Why, may I ask, does he always travel with Titans?
- The Elf hides, and after an hour of fruitless searching, the hungry monster leaves. Hopefully, without an arrow in its rear.
- The Dark Elf doesn't pay any attention. After all, this is HER pet Black Dragon, who just felt like playing.
- The Demon does what he always does. One more roasted carcass.
- The Necromancer doesn't care at all. He has already strolled to the cemetery.
If you say "Hello," you are greeted with:
- Greetings, noble sir. May the blessing of Erathia be upon you.
- How pleasant to meet such a worthy and polite man in this wonderful, delightful place.
- Ho, my pale-faced, pointy-eared friend.
- How dare you, worm, address a servant of Malassa without permission! Execute him!
- Aaaarrrggghhh!!! *after which you are killed. Just like that, as a warm-up*
- It's too late to worry about my health," replies the necromancer, thoughtfully looking you up and down.
Author: Fagotin
Actions of heroes if they need to screw in a light bulb:
- The Knight will not screw in the light bulb; he will train peasants to become electricians, and they will screw in all the light bulbs they can reach.
- The Wizard will not screw in the light bulb; he will quickly assemble a glowing minor artifact and give it to the gremlins to carry and light up.
- The Demon will not screw in the light bulb; he will burn everything in the room, as well as all the rooms in the area, villages, castles, cities, kill all the animals, birds, and other creatures, after which, with a sense of accomplishment, he will continue to burn, enjoying the light of the fires.
- The Elf will not screw in the light bulb; real Indians can see perfectly well in the dark.
- The Warlock - while the minotaurs screw in the light bulb, he will cast empowered light on it, so that in the surrounding villages they will think that a new sun has risen.
- The Necromancer - why is that annoying light even needed?