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When they handed out the sheet with the list of exams, on one side was the name of the subject, and on the other, whether it was a credit or an exam. It's my first time, so I read it – credit. I take a closer look, and yes, everything is correct, it's a credit. Thank goodness!
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The kindergarten teacher brought a clown to class. The clown showed the children various tricks, after which the teacher said:
- Children, let's play a game called "Broken Telephone." I will ask the clown questions, and he will whisper the answers into Masha's ear. Masha will pass the answer to Tanya, Tanya will pass it to Vitya, and Vitya will pass it to Vova. And then Vovochka will tell us all the answer. Agreed? Good. Tell us, clown, why do you have such a funny voice?
The clown whispers to Masha - Because I inhaled helium.
Masha whispers to Tanya - Because he inhaled helium.
Tanya whispers to Vitya - Because he was visited by gays.
Vitya whispers to Vovochka - Because he had sex with gays.
Teacher:
- Well, Vovochka, now tell us the correct answer. Why, in your opinion, does the clown have such a funny voice?
Vovochka:
- What is there to think about? It's because the clown is a faggot.
***************
Vovochka brings his diary to his father. Father:
- Why did you get a failing grade in physical education? You are such a sporty, fit boy!
- Dad, the PE teacher tells me: "Raise your leg," so I raised it.
"Raise the other one." I said to him, "Why should I stand on my dick?" and he gave me a failing grade.
Father thought: - Indeed, maybe he should stand on his dick? My son is great; he did the right thing, like a man!
On the second day, Vovochka brings his diary to his father. Father:
- Why did you get a failing grade in math? You are such an intelligent boy!
- Dad, the math teacher says to me: "What is two times three?"
I say, "Six." He says, "And what is three times two?" I say, "What difference does it make?" and he gives me a failing grade in my diary.
Father: - And indeed, what difference does it make? My son is great; he did the right thing, go play outside.
On the third day, Vovochka brings a failing grade in literature. Father:
- Vovochka, why did you get a failing grade in literature? You are such a well-read boy!
- Dad, the literature teacher told me: "Write a poem about a rooster," so I wrote: "Rooster, rooster – golden comb, gets up early in the morning, doesn't let children sleep. Faggot."
- Indeed, son, if a rooster doesn't let children sleep, then it is a faggot. Smart boy, go play outside.
The next day:
- Dad, they kicked me out of school.
- Why?
- They called me to a meeting with the teachers. I walk into the teachers' lounge, and there sit the math, PE, literature, and art teachers...
- Wait, why is there an art teacher?
- That's what I tell them, "Why is there an art teacher?"
BELIEVE IT OR NOT
FROM PAGE VIEWER MESSAGES FROM STUDENTS
"Lesha, we had a baby girl. Thank you very much. Sergey."
"Buy some tea for the tea."
"Dima, bring potatoes. There isn't even a drop of potato left."
"Andryusha, we bought a great muzzle; come over."
"Buy toilet paper and something to drink."
"Katya, an angry neighbor complained about the non-working phone."
"Are you taking off your pants again and not hearing the pager?"
"Sweetheart, we are waiting for you here, me and the pig."
"Tanya, I am worried. I put on a short skirt, but no one is bothering me."
"Do you need a half-Persian cat?"
WHAT IS WRITTEN WITH A PEN...
"I don't know who stole my wallet because none of my friends were nearby."
"I opened a can of sprats, and there was a mass grave inside."
"Today, I write to you for the first and last time. If you do not answer me, I will write again."
"I thought the window was open, but I found that it was closed when I tried to stick my head out."
"I swerved off the road, looked at my mother-in-law, and headed towards the cliff."
"I collided with a parked truck moving in the opposite direction."
"While trying to kill a fly, I crashed into a telegraph pole."
"An indirect cause of the accident was a small boy in a small car with a big mouth."
First-year student Timid. Reacts sensitively to kindness and pastries in the lobby. Prefers to stay in groups of 15-20. Treats their student ID with reverence, sometimes bordering on religious ecstasy. They open their grade book every day immediately after brushing their teeth, with unrestrained joy in their eyes. They arrive at classes 20-25 minutes before the university opens, but they confuse the first and second weeks, so they are still late. Their sleep is nervous and shallow. They often fall out of bed.
Speech is clear and understandable. When words like EXAM SESSION, MATERIAL RESISTANCE, and PHYSICAL EDUCATION are mentioned, they experience intense fear and behave like an African ostrich. Their habitat is all types of libraries and student cafeterias. Their goal is to obtain all the books from the recommended reading list by any means necessary.
Second-year student Arrogant, hungry, and loud. Only reacts to food. They engage with others purely for selfish reasons. They rarely form groups, but when they do, it's haphazard. The student ID is used as a means of self-defense against conductors, security guards, janitors, and overzealous police officers. They clearly understand the difference between the first and second weeks and are still late. The choice of lectures to attend is random.
Sleep is sound and childlike, with colorful dreams in full-screen resolution 800 x 600 in True Color mode. Speech: it's possible to understand them if you want to, but the desire must be strong enough. They are still afraid of exam sessions but regularly scare first-year students with it, watching with interest as they behave like an African ostrich. Their habitat is closer to food, so they write down the numbers in the queue for pastries during lectures. Their goal is to obtain term papers and lab reports from senior students.
Third-year student Thoughtful – an inevitable consequence of frequently playing DOOM. They are rarely susceptible to food-related temptations and are suspicious. In case of danger, the index finger of their right hand starts twitching in search of the mouse button. The student ID is often lost, then found, and celebrated. On weekends and holidays, some students lose it several times. They go to the institute regularly: for their scholarship. Sleep is sound. They rarely sleep. At night, they tinker with the computer, where they eventually fall asleep.
Speech is fast, incoherent, and almost unintelligible, filled with profanity such as: HACKER, LAMER, USER. Fear (not only of exam sessions) is atrophied. Their habitat is closer to a source of beer. During exam sessions, they migrate to the dean's office, from where groans, sobs, and stories about sick grandmothers immediately begin to emanate. Their goal is to find all the books from the recommended reading list that they took in their first year and submit them.
Fourth-year student They form groups that allow all members to stand firmly on their feet. They attend lectures randomly. Upon arrival, they practice playing Battleship, Tic-Tac-Toe, Dots, and DOOM over the network. When asked, "Where is your student ID?" they answer, "I don't know, I didn't eat it." Sleep: they sleep soundly. They snore, which greatly annoys the teachers. They dream exclusively about their specialization. Speech: they communicate on equal terms with Tibetan monks and some police officers. They are afraid to forget the date of the exam. Their habitat is the bar in the "KOLOBOK" restaurant. Their main goal is to get a diploma for free.
Fifth-year student The highest activity is observed during exams. Then, the concentration can reach a number of 1 person. The question "What is a lecture?" puts them in a quandary. Sleep: 3 months before submitting their thesis, they come out of hibernation; after submitting it, they fall into a lethargic sleep. Speech: by the end of their fifth year, they have mastered 3-4 programming languages, as a result of which they completely forget Russian. They are afraid of not getting a "white ticket" before graduating from university. Their habitat is everywhere, often and regularly. Their main goal is to figure out how to get a free diploma.
Плоды размышлений были съедены червями сомнения...
Three Barbarians are standing near a tavern, talking: Krag Hack (in a whisper): Esteemed colleague, despite the fact that both models you presented include lagged variable values, it should be noted that they differ significantly in terms of statistical parameter estimation! In the first equation, the regressors are uncorrelated with the errors, so this model can be estimated using the least squares method. In the second model, yt-1 includes the error ut-1, therefore, the error vector u and the regressor matrix X are correlated. In this case, the OLS estimate will be biased and inconsistent! Kildor (in a whisper): Exactly, colleague! The first model is an example of a distributed lag model. The second model is an example of an autoregressive distributed lag model. By taking these models, I… Yog (in a whisper): Colleagues, attention - mages are approaching us! Kildor (in a loud voice): …well, that's what I'm saying, I took one photo model by the breasts, and the other by the *ss…
A Haven hero is patrolling his lands, when he suddenly sees a trail left on the ground by some unknown, also Haven hero: - What is this mess, who is wandering around my lands?! Come on, let's find the brazen fellow by following the trail! They ride for a day - there is no one, the second day - still no one, and on the third day, the hero's squire asks: - Your nobility, why have we been running in circles for three days?
A demon asks the Pit Lord: - Dad, are there any humans? - They're gone, son. Eat cheese!
***
It's not a good idea to look for the Black Dragon in a dark cave, especially if he's there...
***
A Crusader is charging at two Black Dragons. The dragons look at each other: - Oops! Canned food...
-Alarm! Alarm!!! The Dark Elves have come out of the Dungeon! -Stop playing Heroes, Vasya! These are miners coming off their shift.
Jel comes to a mage-psychiatrist: -I think someone is following me... -And when did this start? -Since I started carrying the Blade of Armageddon in my inventory...
