Posts from MyDepressionList

From my couch, I definitely wouldn't recommend sports; the boost in mood was very short-lived, but the feeling of being a vegetable, extreme fatigue, and dizziness only intensified. Moreover, I went there purely out of habit, without any excitement or enthusiasm, and perceived it as wasted time that I could have spent drawing.
However, if it works for someone else, that's their business, but the advice to take up sports is far from universal.

There, you can also get injured (or catch some kind of ailment) by accident, which won't make things any more enjoyable. And, frankly, if you already have some health issues, then this hobby might not be the best choice.

and here's the state of the vegetable.

That's the whole point! The vegetable doesn't feel anything, and even though it might still want to die, that desire will be so dull and listless that it can simply be ignored, just like everything else in that state. Instead of "AAA!!! I WANT TO DIE!!! I'M GOING TO JUMP OUT THE WINDOW!!! I'M GOING TO START CUTTING MYSELF -- I DON'T CARE WHO!" it will be "Ugh, I feel bad, ugh, my knees hurt and I want to sleep. I'm so lazy, I don't want to live, and I don't even want to die, I'm tired."

To summarize Alex's point, the idea is that sports are for getting tired. Because when you feel bad for no particular reason, rather than because you're tired, it's much worse. But, of course, if a person feels bad and is tired even without sports, then, yes, that's not an option. However, we don't know what Nebka is going through, but in my understanding, a "correct" depression is hardly caused by fatigue. If there were such simple reasons, then this condition would be relatively easier to fix (although not elementary).

If you're just doing some manual labor, sports aren't necessary, yes, but if you're tired of the "general" fatigue from pseudo-intellectual work and from life in general, it's a different story. And then there's the health aspect. When significant physical exertion becomes impossible... yes, the only option is suicide, for us, the pathetic losers. But while we can still drag ourselves around, we can see salvation in this endless grind, if there's no other way. Or, you can go the "Vasya-style" route: two days of enduring and working, one day of drinking, one day of sleeping – you just keep going, but, in my opinion, you'll burn out even faster.

Alex, I think you could also use some help from a specialist...

No need. If anything, I'm ready for death, and if I'm ready for death, then life shouldn't be taken too seriously. Bad things happen, so what.

I think exercising solely to get tired isn't the best motivation. It makes sense to exercise because you enjoy a particular type of physical activity, want to achieve some results, even if just for yourself, improve your health with a more active lifestyle, or simply bulk up/lose weight for the summer. If you have nothing else to do and you exhaust yourself just to escape reality for a while, you should ask yourself why you don't want to be in reality. And address that issue. Solve the problem, and you won't need to suppress the symptoms.
Although... I also escape reality, but through drawing. Apparently, I prefer to exhaust not my body, but my hand and eyes.

You sound like some kind of life coach, stop before you embarrass yourself.

If a person is reasonable, they will help identify all the underlying causes of what's happening and provide medical or psychological assistance.

What are the underlying causes? What are you talking about? Are you even reading what I'm writing? :( I'm simply frustrated by the fact that

I can't even fulfill my simplest desires.

Well, I'm an angry, life-disappointed loser, what else am I supposed to do?

Sometimes I think about this a lot, and it becomes unbearable. I can't imagine how other people can tolerate even the fact that they are ugly, fat, sick, etc. I would have already killed myself.
Besides, I've already been to a doctor, just because my relatives asked me to and out of curiosity. Going there again won't make me any less of a loser. And the crap like "accept yourself as you are" and other bullshit, forget it. I won't accept this asshole. First, life brings you down, and then they advise you to bring yourself down even further. Yeah, right. I'd rather die.

Nonsense. If a sick person really doesn't want to get better, medicine is powerless, not to mention that half of the psychiatrists are charlatans. It's better to sign up for boxing or at least go to the gym, so that the constant fatigue turns the psychoses into a mild depression, or just start drinking. Be careful with the latter.

They just engage in idle chatter. The best you can get from them is pills.
Are you even reading what I'm writing? 2 :(

Strength training is the only thing that improves my mood, even if only a little. From -100 to -70. For a couple of hours.

I do it at home.

Drinking is not an option. I'll ruin my health, and it will only get worse. I'd rather do something extreme where I can die right away. But all these things require money)))))))))))))))))))

Would he also provide financial assistance?

That would really help. At the very least, I could GUARANTEEDLY eliminate the negative factors that can be ELEMENTARILY eliminated with money, and I would be much, much less frustrated. Besides, there are other factors, and money would provide a springboard for solving them, and then I could act on my own.

I'm not arguing, Nebo really needs to get out of this mess himself, and he will need no less effort on his part. But the visit to the doctor is already the first step towards recovery.
While having a hobby (it doesn't matter if it's sports or, say, drawing) is a good way to distract yourself from unpleasant thoughts, it won't solve the problem on its own. And, as far as I can tell, going to the gym will only add to Nebo's distress.

I'm tired of doing something for several years and almost not getting any good things in return that would make me happy, even a little. I could count these joys on the fingers of one hand. In 5 shitty years. Normal people are happy about something at least once a month. Not once a year. For a few hours. That's a great motivation to continue doing something, it's just awful.
I've already written about the doctor.

I already exist in a detached state, I'm absent-minded and forget everything because I try not to notice and not remember this garbage life (recently, when I was walking home, I stopped at a green light, and another day I walked on a red light because I was trying very hard not to notice anything). But when I suddenly notice something, it becomes unbearable. And hobbies are for people who have a good life and have extra time in the evening that they need to spend on something.

I've already written about sports.

And yes, about hobbies, especially creative ones - you need to be careful with this. On the one hand, creativity is great for relaxing and escaping from problems, but on the other hand, depression will only worsen, especially when you start thinking about why everyone draws better than you - I've experienced this myself.

I have a different problem; these things consistently begin to be associated with the surrounding crap and become repulsive.

I'm saying this as someone who plans to deal with their own mental issues in the near future. Nebos, I remember you mentioning a doctor. Honestly, I think either it's not the right doctor for you, or they're not very good. Some people need to try out almost a dozen psychologists before they find the right one. The words "Just accept yourself and live with it))00" can easily make me cry and have a breakdown, because I hate myself intensely and also think I'm an unfortunate, unsuccessful person who wasted all her potential. But I've tried some other approaches that have given and continue to give a small positive effect.

why don't you want to be in reality and solve this problem? Solve the problem, and you won't need to suppress the symptoms.

Exactly. And it can't be solved simply by engaging in certain activities and making an effort. This doesn't work. Unlucky? Tough luck. And so on, in a vicious cycle. It's especially frustrating to see other people who either haven't done anything and have everything they want, or are doing the same things and have it, or have done less and have it, or have done more and have it. Or at least have something, not necessarily everything. It's all the same. But you just got unlucky. That's life. Tough luck.

I'm going to sleep. It's a shame, but I'll probably wake up again.

why don't you want to be in reality?

... It's 3D.

I can't imagine how other people can tolerate even more, like being ugly, fat, sick, etc. I would have already killed myself.

Well, here you go :(

I won't accept this jerk.

I think a tolerant and accepting approach generally works; otherwise, the statistics for certain things would be 20 times higher. However, it doesn't help everyone.

What internal reasons are you talking about? Are you even reading what I'm writing? I'm incredibly annoyed by the fact that...

All of the above also applies to traumatic factors that need to be addressed.
When you start dealing with your inner demons, you need to work with a specialist to address each one, and then follow up on it. If you leave out any details, it's all over.
Because often, it all starts with childhood trauma, and then it snowballs. And the issue of not being able to achieve what you want is also resolved by deeply analyzing why it's not working. And as a rule, the problem isn't in the superficial issues like "not having enough money" or "mom won't let me" (although that doesn't make them non-traumatic)...

They're just talking nonsense. The best you can get from them is pills.

I'm talking about a competent specialist, not someone who just sits around and gets paid. You must have just encountered a jerk. But how do you find a good one in the CIS countries?..

I'm not arguing that a lack of money has a very negative impact on the brain and life. As does working "for food," when you get a measly minimum wage that's only enough to cover rent and a month's worth of pasta. If there's any money left, you either buy clothes, because old clothes tend to wear out, or you buy luxuries like canned meat with beef anuses.
Considering that I've been unemployed for almost a year now and can't find anything decent that doesn't involve killing myself for some measly 12,000 rubles, I understand that finding a decent JOB is not easy. Especially when your education (if you have any) is useless, and you don't have enough experience in the right field. So I can't and won't give advice like: "Oh, you don't have enough money, find a new JOB."
However, I won't deny the fact that you need to change something if you're not happy with your finances. But even then, you need to figure yourself out first, then either take some training or keep applying for jobs until you succeed. And sooner or later, you will see some results.
But if you have no money, no desire to change anything, but you do have a desire to die, and then you say that you don't have any "internal problems," even though they obviously do, they're just not on the surface.
And yes, to summarize, life in the CIS countries is a pain in the ass on the hardest difficulty level. But that doesn't mean you should give up and stare into the void all day long (although, I do that myself), contemplating death.

Added 4 minutes ago

It's especially annoying to see other people who either haven't done anything and have everything they want, or are doing the same thing and have it, or have done less and have it, or have done more and have it.

Oh, this universal injustice is really annoying sometimes. And if it's okay with those who have achieved what they wanted through their own efforts, then those who have everything provided by their parents/acquaintances sometimes make you want to wish them cancer. However, not so much them as the creators of this fucked-up, vicious system, where the desired position, first place in a competition, and so on are given not to the one who deserves it, but to some brother/cousin/friend's child, and so on.