Posts from Fun Auto-translated

{_!_} - a great ass
(_*_) - a troublesome ass
(_zzz_) - a tired ass
(_?_) - a brainless ass
(_o_) - a used ass
(_0_) - a frequently used ass
(_$_) - a nouveau riche ass
(_x_) - kiss my ass!
(_X_) - leave my ass alone!
(_^_) - a conceited ass
(ЖоЖ) - a hairy ass
("|") - a hairy ass
. - an ass, view from space
(_~_) - a cunning ass
(_:-)_) - a very cunning ass
(_e=mc2_) - a smart ass
(_Ъ_) - a firm ass
(_Ь_) - a soft ass
(_GO_) - go to hell
-(_!_) - went to hell
(_!_)- like from an ass
(_SOS_) - an ass in trouble
(_#_) - a prisoner's ass
{-------O-------} - a very large ass
(_100%_) - a complete mess (a popular phrase)
(_!_)] - an ass with a handle
(_!_)S - an ass with a handle
-(_!_)- to do something badly
(_=_) - who gives a damn?

SHORT MESSAGES

(_Я_) - I'm in trouble…
(__Я__) - I'm in deep trouble…
(_Мы_) - We're in trouble
(_-._) - Go to hell!
к(_!_)Э - an ass with ears
c( o ) - an ass with a handle
(_!_)(___!___)(_!_)(__!__) - A movie theater…
:D :D :D ;) :D :D :D :D


Moses said: everything comes from God, Solomon said: everything comes from the mind, Jesus said: everything comes from the heart, Marx said: everything comes from needs, Freud said: everything comes from sex, Einstein said: everything is relative... As many Jews, so many opinions.

Come on, Van! You'll die laughing!)))

Is it a repost? - I don't know.

Is this old news? - I don't know.

It's old news! But every time I see it, it makes me smile!!!:D

A drug addict is walking down the avenue, leading a goose by the wing. A cop approaches him: Cop: You can't have geese here! Addict: ??? Cop: Your goose is pooping! Addict: Well, look at the pigeons, they poop too! Cop: But a pigeon is a bird of peace! Addict: Damn, I will! My goose is also against war! :D :D :D :D :D Vovochka! Stop swinging on your dad! He didn't hang himself here for that! Snow White, Thumbelina, and Shrek are walking down the road. Snow White says: - I'm the most beautiful, the coolest. Thumbelina says: - And I'm the smallest and the cutest. Shrek says: - And I'm the scariest and the most terrible. They keep walking, and they see a house with a sign that says "Mirror of Truth." Snow White goes inside. She comes out crying: - I'm not really the most beautiful; it turns out there's also Sleeping Beauty! Thumbelina goes inside. She comes out crying too: - I'm not really the smallest; it turns out there's also Tom Thumb! Shrek goes inside. He comes out angry as a bull and yells: - DAMN!!! - WHO IS YUSHCHENKO??? - These aren't emoticons, they're closing parentheses... come to the board and solve the equation! Spell your name using Japanese letters! A- ka * B- zu * C- mi * D- te * E- ku * F- lu * G- ji * H- ri * I- ki * J- zu * K- me * L- ta * M- rin * N- to * O- mo * P- no * Q- ke * R- shi * S- ari * T- chi * U- do * V- ru * W- mei * X- na * Y- fu * Z- z *

A drug addict is walking down the avenue, leading a goose by the wing. A cop approaches him:
Cop: You can't have geese here!
Addict: ???
Cop: Your goose is pooping!
Addict: Well, pigeons poop too!
Cop: But a pigeon is a bird of peace!!!
Addict: Damn, I will! My goose is also against the war!!!
:D :D :D :D :D
Vovochka! Stop swinging on your dad! He didn't hang himself here for that reason;)

Snow White, Thumbelina, and Shrek are walking down the road.
Snow White says:
- I am the most beautiful, the coolest.
Thumbelina says:
- And I am the smallest and the cutest.
Shrek says:
- And I am the scariest and the most terrible.
They walk on, and see a house, and on the house it says - the mirror of truth.
Snow White goes in. She comes out crying:
- I am not really the most beautiful - it turns out there is also Sleeping Beauty!
Thumbelina goes in. She comes out crying too:
- I am not really the smallest - it turns out there is also Tom Thumb!
Shrek goes in. He comes out - angry as a bull and yells:
- DAMN!!! - WHO IS YUSHCHENKO???

- These are not emoticons, but closing parentheses... come to the board and solve the equation!

Spell your name using Japanese letters!

A- ka *
B- zu *
C- mi *
D- te *
E- ku *
F- lu *
G- ji *
H- ri *
I- ki *
J- zu *
K- me *
L- ta *
M- rin *
N- to *
O-mo *
P- no *
Q- ke *
R- shi *
S- ari *
T-chi *
U- do *
V- ru *
W-mei *
X- na *
Y- fu *
Z- z *

It turns out that my name in Japanese is Rinkamearikirin:D

:D :D :D

I see you like pictures????? Here are a few from me!
In these photographs, published on February 6, 2007, there is a pair of human skeletons in an eternal embrace.
They were found at a Neolithic archaeological site near Mantua (Italy). Archaeologists in northern Italy believe that the couple was buried 5,000-6,000 years ago, and their weapons still lie next to the couple frozen in an embrace for many millennia.
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Kind of a backstory :)
The subtle artistry of this advertisement, created by a Brazilian advertising agency and promoting lubricant gel intended for the French market. They tried to create an ad that would not offend anyone and had a touch of elegance. This picture looks absolutely innocent at first glance until you look closely.
Moreover, this advertisement even caused a small sensation in Europe:
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:eek: :eek: Those who don't get it are missing one pillar!;) Guess where it is???;)

Children of the stars!
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Ka-to-te-shi-ku-ki
Ka-to-te-shi-ku-ki – name:)
Chi-ku-to-ji-shi-mo
Chi-ku-to-ji-shi-mo – nickname:)

I don't remember if I posted this joke here before (dedicated to the Inquisitor):

-Boy, where does your father work?
-In the Inquisition!
-And what does he do there?
-He burns people!

:D:D:D

I'm a little embarrassed that I posted this... but when I saw it for the first time, I laughed for a long time... :o :

C-L-A-S-S-I-C-S P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E

Let that yellow cube over there be a blue sphere for › visualization .
>
› Let's draw an infinitesimal triangle. No, it's hard to see, let's draw a larger one.
›
› It's all in your best interest: the faster you clean the classroom, the faster you can go mop the hallway.
›
› You cannot drink industrial alcohol, so we will not write its formula.
›
› Note in the diary: Came to PE class without underwear -.
›
› After Paul I, there were no more women on the Russian throne ..
›
› Student, are you actually that smart? - Who, me? - Well, not me!
›
› For simplicity, let's take a matrix of order 7.
›
› And now, open your genitals and study them carefully!
›
› Girl in the back row, please move to the front seat next to me.
›
› Note in the diary: Did a somersault without swearing.
›
› A shopkeeper will ask you for the Gauss-Ostrogradsky formula... and you won't know it!
›
› Take the graph and put checkmarks with crosses.
›
› Tomorrow I will give you a surprise test.
›
› He crept up quietly, clanking his treads noiselessly.
›
› Corpses lay everywhere. In some places, they were still alive (Civil Defense)
›
› You are lying to me, comrade student, but I believe you...
›
› N planes are flying; no, N is too few - K, and both are jet-powered...
›
› So, my young partisans, I begin the interrogation on the previous topic.
›
› As a result of using chemicals, mosquitoes and other birds died.
›
› The headquarters is marked on the map with a triangle-colored flag ..
›
› Does the word "always" mean anything to you? Girls, put your hands down!
›
› Character costumes were usually supplemented with enlarged parts of the body. Usually, these were reproductive organs. Well, for example, big ears, a stomach .....
›
Dragomirov M. I. (1830-1905) - an active participant in the war of 1812.
›
› This gas causes headaches in the muscles and bones.
›
› The shell first flies in a parabola, and then by inertia.
›
› Comrade student, I recognize you! Who are you?
›
› For illustration, let's take two imaginary countries: America and Britain ..
›
› Attend if you want, or don't. But you must be present during the lesson!
›
› Let's pump the vacuum out of there.
›
› This was before the Polovtsy attacked the Soviet Union.
›
› The bomb shelter is covered with a net so that the bomb doesn't know where it's falling.
›
› It will be built in the upper right corner of the hall.
›
› Now you eagles, please be quiet..... You've started chirping.
›
› Bloody Sunday showed once again that the Tsar could shoot not only at workers, but also on weekends ..
›
› Let the ball fall... round... vertically... yes, let it be downwards
›
› If I make a mistake, you will correct me silently...
›
› Since you have nothing better to do, go solve some problems.
›
› I didn't graduate from an academy, but I'll give you a higher education!
›
› It's already stuffy in here, and you're shouting on top of it!
›
› Note in the diary: Ran during PE class !-
›
› You must be literate people.
›
› The right hand is used quite widely in physics.
›
› All this is called by one term: stability of solutions of a system of differential equations.
›
› I'm not drawing N holes, I'll draw about three...
›
› An NVP (Military Training) instructor, hearing piano sounds behind the wall: Chopin is good. But what is Chopin? A gas mask is much more complicated !-
›
› Why, comrade student, did you draw such a non-square square? What did you have for breakfast ›
› Classes will be held once a week - on Wednesday and Thursday.
›
› Going to the toilet? Wet the rag while you're at it.
This rule is your IRON life preserver during the exam...

Let's estimate the value of the free term by eye.

The conscience is clean for the one who never had one

Cries of a girl were heard from the forest, gradually turning into female cries (said the lecturer after the phrase "Since you have no girls, it reminds me...")

A parachute that opens automatically upon impact with the ground.

Switch your vibrators to mobile mode!

- Miss, are you a straight-A student?
- No.
- A B-student?
- No.
- Then who are you?
- I'm a "satisfactory" one.

Quieter than water – lower than the baseboard.

Student, you have the wrong orientation (regarding vectors).

In an implicit function, everything is much the same as here.

Young man, don't shake your pen so much, or you'll splash the girl in front of you.

Constipation of thought, but a flow of words

You won't be offended, you'll get your break in full.

A drunken floating-point array.

The teacher is writing on the board with multi-colored chalk, a voice from the back of the auditorium:
- You can't see the blue one!
Teacher:
- Well, the "blues" can move to the front desk!

Teacher: Look, here is a desk, it is wooden, painted, and so is the state...
I am... wooden and painted

Continue...

Here are my brothers!!!!:smile24:
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:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
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A tuned-up Knight!:D :D :D :D
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Print it out and hang it on the wall =)
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If you share this within 7 days, the person you love will say they are crazy about you, within 7 weeks you will be lucky with money, and for 7 years you will be fortunate! Ignoring it or sharing it as a repost will plunge you into misfortune for 7 years.

Actually, I saw this on the wall of the HR department in a bank where one of my acquaintances works – it’s probably silly, but I laughed…
Following the success of the Western online auction ebay.com, Russian businessmen opened their own domain with the following subdomains:
ebay.ru – Main domain
na.ebay.ru – Sales and contracts department
po.ebay.ru – Technical Support
za.ebay.ru – Advertising and PR
pod.ebay.ru – Communication with competitors
pri.ebay.ru – Working with potential competitors
ot.ebay.ru – Working with existing competitors
pro.ebay.ru – Department for force majeure situations
s.ebay.ru – Department for tax payments
:D :D :D
A sports commentator is interviewing our skier, who has just finished the race:
- You didn't win, of course, but tell me, did you enjoy the race itself?
- I enjoyed the moonshine, that's why I didn't win…
:D :D :D
On the mountain stands Malchish Kibalchish, waving his arms and shouting:
- BETRAYAL! TREACHERY!
And at the foot of the mountain sits a satisfied Malchish Plokhish, eating jam from a huge jar and wondering:
- Strange thing – this herb: it makes some betray, and others crave something sweet…
:D :D :D