Posts from Fun

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Week of Dead Calm: A week during which no significant events occur.
Toad Week: If a girl hugs a toad this week, she will get married within a year.
Salamander Week: A week during which children play Heroes and encounter miniature dragons.
Chicken Week: A week during which you need to stomp on eggs.
Firefly Week: A week during which the nights are most beautiful.
Chicken Week: A week during which you need to stomp on eggs.
Firefly Week: A week during which the nights are most beautiful.
Dragonfly Week: A week during which it is impossible to fish peacefully on the shore of a lake.
Fox Week: A week during which it is undesirable to be a chicken.
Rat Week: The cats' favorite week.
Rabbit Week: A week during which it is undesirable to be a carrot.
Squirrel Week: A week during which it is undesirable to be a nut.
Caterpillar Week: A week during which elves hold a grand feast and perform traditional dances.
Hamster Week: Weekly production of Hamsters and Berserk Battle Hamsters is doubled.
Pigeon Week: A week during which you have to clean the statues every day.
Cuckoo Week: A week during which cuckoos sing day and night.
Anxiety Week: A week during which the final exams of the Silver Cities' wizard apprentices take place.
Bee Week: The children's favorite week, as honey production in the hives triples.
Poppy Week: A week during which it is considered good taste to give flowers.
Swan Week: Formerly Duck Week.
Butterfly Week: A week during which unexpected storms often occur. (I think there's some French saying about a butterfly and a storm...)
Antelope Week: The lions' favorite week.
Beggar Week: A week during which everyone must give alms to the beggars.
Raven Week: A week during which the "Most Beautiful Scarecrow" contest is held.
Beaver Week: A week during which it is undesirable to be a tree.
Pink Flamingo Week: A week during which it is undesirable to be a shrimp.
Turtle Week: A week during which the whole world slows down.
Lynx Week: A week during which it is undesirable to be a rabbit.
Penguin Week: A week for those who are not one-handed. (I don't understand this joke)
Hawk Week: A week during which you need to watch what's above your head.
Hedgehog Week: A week during which hedgehogs are often found on the roads.
Sparrow Week: A week during which it is undesirable to be a worm.
Swallow Week: A week when swallows return, sometimes bringing coconuts. (see Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
Lion Week: A week during which it is undesirable to be an antelope.
Stork Week: A week during which chimney sweeps have a lot of work.
Rooster Week: A week during which everyone gets up at dawn.
Viper Week: A week during which you should watch where you step.
Ram Week: Wool production is doubled.
Velvet Week: A week during which the biggest hunting competition in Ashan begins.
Owl Week: A wonderful week...
Goat Week: Goat cheese production is tripled.
Wyvern Week: A week during which the Wyvern population doubles, up to their complete extinction.
Tiger Week: The perfect week to show off your new rug in front of the bed.

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Heroes' actions if they need to change a light bulb:

A Knight will not change a light bulb; he will train peasants into electricians, and they will change all the light bulbs they can reach.

A Wizard will not change a light bulb; he will quickly assemble a glowing artifact and give it to the gremlins to carry and light up.

A Demon will not change a light bulb; he will burn everything in the room, as well as all the rooms in the area, villages, castles, cities, kill all the animals, birds, and other creatures, and then, with a sense of accomplishment, he will go on to burn more, enjoying the light of the fires.

An Elf will not change a light bulb; real Indians can see perfectly well in the dark.

A Warlock will have minotaurs change the light bulb, and then cast empowered light on it, so much so that the villages nearby will think a new sun has risen.

A Necromancer: Why would we need this annoying light at all?
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Propaganda of various factions:
Knights: Are you all white, fluffy, and positive? Are you ready to spread reason, goodness, and light by any means, including sword and magic? Then come to us. Wide opportunities for career growth (from peasant to paladin), good rations for recruits at a moderate price, and kind bosses.
Wizards: Tired of praying to giant lizards? Are you interested in magic? Do you just want to lazily watch the process, lazily waving a wand and smoking a hookah? Then come to us.
At your service is an artifact constructor, assemble it yourself, a zoo of various magical creatures, and a riding beast with all the amenities.
Elves: Brother, do you love nature? All kinds of plants, birds, animals? Are you for balance and harmony? Come to us! A wide circle for communication (from a dryad to a tree and a dragon), a friendly atmosphere, housing in nature. Also, shooting bows while drunk is allowed, and the guild of rangers will gladly give you images of the main NPCs.
Dark Elves: Are you tired of cooing with birds and animals? Do you want to live where no one bothers you? Too lazy to work yourself? Come to us! Loyal minotaur slaves, daily striptease from the female population, and evil beasts guarding your home are guaranteed!
Special offer! Want to get normal ears? Ask Railag how!
Necromancers: Tired of classes at the Academy? Do you feel that an elephant is not your thing? Are you for universal silence and peace? Come to us. Gather the largest crowd of bones and the disgruntled and put them to rest, uh, calm everyone living and disgruntled. All the eternally deceased will have a new appearance and a new... well, a new existence.

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"A fierce battle is raging around, and you just want to relax and have a snack?
Consume Corpse - Take a break, eat a corpse!"

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Heroes of Ball and Magic at the World Championship.
- A Knight sits calmly in his seat and prays for the victory of his favorite team.
- A Wizard casts a spell that should teleport the opposing team's goalkeeper off the field.
- An Elf sneaks onto the field, camouflages himself as grass, and imperceptibly puts tripping hazards in front of the opposing
football players.
- A Dark Elf indifferently watches as 22 idiots kick a sphere around.
- A Demon patiently waits for the end of the match and the fan fight. Today there will be a lot of meat...
- A Necromancer doesn't care about football; he watches the Demon. Today, a lot of new skeletons will appear...

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Information taken from http://heroes.ag.ru/heroes5/others/humor/

JPEGs that make you laugh:)
In this issue:
"Hellish Communism," "Old Joke," "Joy in New York," and real black metal (hopefully, no one will take this as an insult...)

A drunken hero from the necromancer army asked the skeleton standing next to him, "Can you see any enemy soldiers?" *hic* - The guys from the 9th company noticed a demon lying nearby. - Then another skeleton approached them - "Academics are on the horizon!" "Hooray!!!" - "Hmm," thought Skeletikov, "it's good to have academics as allies!"

A dark elf is a friend, comrade, and slave to another dark elf.

A rare gargoyle will barely make it to the middle of the Dnieper.

Mages are divided into those who cast curses and those who counter them. But necromancers are not divided – they decay.

"Knowledge is power," thought the demon. Then he reasoned: "I have power, I don't need intelligence," and ignored the rest of the stats.

What is good for a necromancer is death for everyone else.

"Why can't stools fly like birds?" thought the mage and created a gargoyle.

Where does it begin, and what is the end that ends at the neck of a djinn?

"One head is good, but three are better" (c) Cerberus breeder.

"Three heads are good, but six are better" (c) Hydra breeder.

Vampire conference on the topic: "Is there life in a skeleton?"

Golem conference on the topic: "Can machines think?"

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It's hard to die, but it's even harder to die badly. - Nicholas.
A healthy spirit resides in a dead body. - Markel.
It's good where we are not yet. - Kha-Belekh

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Isabelle and Markel are storming the cities of mages. They have been marching continuously for three days. One of the adjutants:
-The troops are tired, Your Majesty. May I suggest we take a break?
Isabelle:
-No time! We'll rest in the afterlife.
Markel, to himself:
-But I doubt that will happen.

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A Rakshasa asks the elder gremlin:
-How do you manage to repair golems from a distance?
-It's very simple! I point my magic blunderbuss at it and say: "Reparo!"

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Rai'lag enters a tavern:
-Landlord! Prepare two rooms for the night.
-Excuse me, sir, but why do you need two?
-Well, there are two of us: me and Agrael.

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A hero-dwarf on a mammoth watches as an army of scholars, led by a heroine on an elephant, travels up the hill. Gently stroking the mammoth's mane: "Eh-eh-eh, animal, are you worried that you won't have anyone to chase anymore..."

When the Dutch army attacks, everything is very organized! In the front, infantry charges at full speed. Behind them, officers ride on green, multi-legged war machines. And tanks – a Dutch tank jumps down from a tree, fires, laughs maniacally, and hides back in the hollow. And how do you fight against such an army – who knows!

A bank robbery in Central Asia. Everything is as usual: stockings on their heads, everyone on the floor. One of the robbers, the most zealous, swears he will kill everyone, runs up to a frail cashier, and shouts: - You! What's your name? - Karlagash... - the cashier answers timidly, almost crying. Suddenly, the robber lowers his gun and says: - My mother's name was that... I won't touch you. Go. - The happy girl runs out of the bank. The robber runs up to a burly guy and shouts again: - What's your name? - Actually, my name is Sergei, but my friends call me Karlagash for some reason... - Mom, mom, look! The boy is eating the girl! - Sasha, stop talking nonsense! They're kissing! Oh... wait, no... he's eating her! A bus is driving down the road, passing by the zoo. A three-year-old boy is sitting on his mother's lap and looking out the window: - Mom, mom! There's a SO-ON! - Yes, dear, there's an elephant. - Mom, mom! There are ZYA-NY! - Yes, little one, there are monkeys. - Mom, mom! There's a F*CKING CAMEL! - Everyone in the bus turns to look at the mother and child. She, barely holding back laughter, says: - Yes, son, there's a camel. Stirlitz was sitting in his office, reviewing documents. Suddenly, someone knocked on the door... then again, and again, and again... - A woodpecker... - Stirlitz thought. - You're the woodpecker! - Müller thought.

Stirlitz and Bormann were taking turns shooting. The queue was quickly dwindling...

Issue 2 "Funny Pictures":
"Cat-Knight", "AAAAA", "People Transportation", "Eagles":D :D :D

Stirlitz leaned over the map of the USSR; the Soviet spy was irresistibly drawn to his homeland...:D

Added 5 minutes later
A draft was coming from the window. Stirlitz closed the window. The draft disappeared...

Added 5 minutes later
Four rabbis are walking and arguing about something. One says, "I'm right, I am!" And the others convince him otherwise. And then he says, "Well, God himself will prove that I'm right!" And then the heavens open, and God comes out and says, "He's right!"

2 GiVi. You're awesome:D

Stirlitz was walking with a girl in the park. A shot rang out, and the girl fell. "They're shooting," Stirlitz thought.

And this one is for those who watched the movie.
Stirlitz shot at Müller. The bullet bounced off. "Bulletproof," Stirlitz thought.

Stirlitz ran in a hurry, jumping. His boots kept falling off, and it took him a while to get to the jumping point.:D

Stirlitz was looking at the secret documents of the fascists, when suddenly Müller burst in, snatched the documents from him, and ran away. "Whew, that was close!" said Stirlitz. Müller, sitting in the toilet, thought: "If only the same could be said about you!" :D

Added 5 minutes later
A German assault squad, Russian partisans, and the lumberjack Uncle Vanya with his "DRUZHBA" chainsaw met in the forest. Friendship won... :rolleyes:

Added 11 hours 10 minutes later
A woman comes to the rabbi with a problem: - You know, my husband is cheating on me. Is there any way to stop it? The rabbi replies: - Does she come to your house, this mistress? - Yes, she does. - Then here's what you need to do: when your husband falls asleep, at midnight, you must cut four hairs, 6 cm long, and wrap them all in a small bag. And by the way, do you have a rug in your house? - Yes, I do. - Then exactly at two o'clock in the afternoon, put this bag under the rug... - And will that help? - Well, at least it won't hurt...:D

In assassin school, three graduates take their final exam: the task is to kill their own wife. The first one went. After 5 minutes, he came back and said: "I can't kill my wife!" And he failed the exam. The second one went. After 10 minutes, he came back, drenched in cold sweat, and said: "No. I won't kill a loved one." And he also failed. The third one went. 10 minutes passed, and he's nowhere to be seen... Suddenly, there was a knock, a crash, screams... This assassin returns and says: "You bastards! You loaded the gun with blanks, so I had to finish her off with a chair!:mad:"

repost
let's try to stick to the topic, shall we?

repost
in general, let's stick to the topic, shall we?

This is just spam! You can post fun content that isn't just about Heroes here too:)

Exactly. Purely "Heroes" related – it's a thread about Heroes 5.

An American joke:

What did the snail say after climbing onto the turtle's back? – "Let's go!"