Stirlitz was looking at the secret documents of the fascists, when suddenly Müller burst in, snatched the documents from him, and ran away. "Whew, that was close!" said Stirlitz. Müller, sitting in the toilet, thought: "If only the same could be said about you!" :D

Added 5 minutes later
A German assault squad, Russian partisans, and the lumberjack Uncle Vanya with his "DRUZHBA" chainsaw met in the forest. Friendship won... :rolleyes:

Added 11 hours 10 minutes later
A woman comes to the rabbi with a problem: - You know, my husband is cheating on me. Is there any way to stop it? The rabbi replies: - Does she come to your house, this mistress? - Yes, she does. - Then here's what you need to do: when your husband falls asleep, at midnight, you must cut four hairs, 6 cm long, and wrap them all in a small bag. And by the way, do you have a rug in your house? - Yes, I do. - Then exactly at two o'clock in the afternoon, put this bag under the rug... - And will that help? - Well, at least it won't hurt...:D