Being dead isn't easy either.
Inspired by the last session.
A message to the potential reader. Attention! This story does not contain any meaningful content. It is recommended to use the story only to achieve a short-term amusement of the body.
Necropolis. The dark capital of the great and victorious empire of necromancers. Fear and nervous twitching permeate the ancient walls of the abandoned castle. Groans and the clatter of bones can be heard everywhere. Today is a great and terrible night. Today is the night of the state exam in necromancy for the title of Hero.
Skeletal, half-decayed, vampirized, and utterly deranged students nervously gnaw at the remnants of their nails. In front of the doors of the academy of black magic, a young, thin ghoul is pacing, unnaturally pale even for a vampire. He nervously fiddles with a bunch of cheat sheets, constantly muttering to himself: "Bone tissue connects... connects with... But what does it connect with?!". The vampire looks at the cheat sheets again. A group of students nearby are playing "doggy" with someone's skull. The owner of the skull aimlessly rushes around in a circle, trying to snatch his own head from the hooligans. A dark-skinned girl, clearly an elf, walks by, and the students freeze for a moment, and the unfortunate skeleton manages to grab his skull.
The girl, carefully maintaining a proud posture, approaches the vampire and friendly shoves him in the side. He flinches.
- Ah! Oh, it's you, Tamika. Will you be going soon?
- Hello to you too, Vokial. Why are you so nervous? Relax, we'll all pass.
- Yes, relax! I'm so thirsty, I've been studying these tickets for two days, I haven't even gone hunting.
- Poor thing. - the girl poked the vampire in the ribs again, but this time more gently. - Okay, it's not your turn to answer yet, we'll figure something out. And stop cramming! You already know everything, you'll only make it worse now. Give me the cheat sheets.
The vampire calmed down a bit, and they both sat down on a tombstone near a dug-up graveyard. Tamika waved cheerfully to a Black Rider passing by and asked Vokial:
- Who teaches ritual dismemberment?
- Maestro Moandor.
- Is the old lich still teaching? He was already planning to retire last century!
- Ha! He's teaching. He spends half the lecture telling about his great deeds in Erathia, and the other half the students are looking for his fingers and teeth on the floor. The old man is falling apart. Consider that my entire course on "dismemberment" is useless.
- Bad. - Tamika frowned worriedly. - I saw Magister Sandro moving his brains into a polished skull today, so he wants to be present at the commission, and "dismemberment" is his specialty.
- The sun will burn me! This is not just bad - it's super bad. What should we do?
- Don't do anything. Hope for the best.
- You're comforting me.
A zombie was dragging itself past our couple, dragging its foot. Tamika immediately called out to him:
- Hey, wait! Go get a fresh corpse, will you? See, he's thirsty... - The girl pointed to the pitifully pale Vokial.
The zombie took out its eyes, wiped them with a rag, put them back in place, and thought. It was simply impossible to refuse such a girl as Tamika, but admitting that he was a errand boy was somehow unpleasant, so the decaying student chose a middle ground.
- O-o-okay. - he rasped. - But coins first, and for two corpses.
- What a mercenary you are. An extortionist. - Tamika scolded good-naturedly, taking gold out of Vokial's pocket.
- Only take it from the refrigerator! - the vampire shouted after the departing classmate. - Oh, my head hurts. I wonder who the chairman of the commission is.
- Who, of course, Lady Vidomina.
- Oh! That witch is as evil as an archangel at noon, so using the cheat sheets is out of the question.
- Come on, don't despair. By the way, did you hear the story about the lost hand?
- No. I heard some rumors, but I don't know the details.
- Then listen. One hero (no one named him) was in a small skirmish, where he had his hand knocked off with a club, but he didn't notice it right away. The battle was won, the necromancers were already resurrecting skeletons from the fallen enemies, and only then did our Hero discover the loss. Well, everyone, of course, started offering their hands as a replacement, it's a common thing. But the hero doesn't take it. He says that he had an artifact ring on that hand. They started searching. They stood in place for two days, but they didn't find it. They had to attach a foreign limb and go home. In the city, our Hero enters, even with a great victory, but angry, like a monk in paradise, gloomy and dissatisfied with everyone. He rides, as is customary, in a parade along the troops, and suddenly, right before our eyes, his face changes. He jumps off his horse and starts twisting the arm of some ordinary skeleton. "Here it is, my ring!" he shouts. It turns out that some necromancer, when assembling skeletons after the battle, took his hand, so that's why they couldn't find it. And the hero miraculously spotted his ring in the crowd. He was so happy, like a child.
The vampire quietly laughed, occasionally clutching his head and grimacing in pain.
- Blessed angel! Tamika, why are you making me laugh, and my head is already splitting. Oh, it's like being stabbed with a needle.
Just then, a familiar zombie appeared from behind the crypt, dragging a medium-sized corpse on its shoulder.
- Here. Nice and fresh, as you asked. By the way, be happy, Rector Sandro is busy today, he went to the Pyramids for a conference on mummification. You can skip "dismemberment".
- Hooray! - Vokial exclaimed. - There is no God in the world!
Tamika watched condescendingly as the vampire sucked, specially magically preserved, the corpse. Now his pallor became more matte, and his red eyes sparkled with post-mortem life again.
- Young creatures, please leave the skeleton. - a hoarse voice came from the grave.
- Okay. - Vokial sighed contentedly, pushing the sucked-to-the-point-of-emaciation body into the graveyard, from which an immediate, loud crunching sound came. - Now I'll show them! The commission, you see, the attestation. Yes, I can deal with these skeletons with my eyes closed... Yes, we can take down these archangels with a single blow! By the way, Tamika, what is the topic of your thesis?
- "Improving the defensive capabilities of Black Riders", of course. - the girl's eyes gleamed oilily. - And yours?
- Yes, I'm in my specialty. I'll rework my old father's thesis on ghouls, anyway, only vampires understand it, and they won't give me away.
Vokial bravely headed towards the doors of the academy, pushed aside a ghost standing in line, spat over his left shoulder, and went inside.
It was three o'clock in the morning, and a company of skeletons.
(The coincidence of names and elements with a popular game is intentional.)
Editor's comment:
Quite original. Although a bit specific.
Source:
http://www.gamenavigator.ru/contest/article.php?id=1173
