Posts from Little… who?

To be honest, I've never liked these little rhymes – they're mean, dark, sometimes scary, and very often not funny. But here... I just came up with one in the chat... of course, not exactly like that (but still a little vulgar, a little crude), but on a specific theme.
At the request of the community, I'm posting it :D
I'll also create a poll (Why should the topic just hang around in the section? I'll at least find out what people think).
Please post your own (original ones, not that nonsense you find on the internet :D).
Enjoy ;)

1.
Little Ani found a lightsaber,
He was so happy that he lost his speech,
And also lost his health…
Ani became a good Darth Vader.

2.
Little robot suffered from incontinence,
He peed and pooped with diligent effort,
Ani got tired of cleaning up after him…
The robot should be called C-3PO.

3.
Little boy dreamed of the stars,
He annoyed everyone with his dream…
His parents didn't punish him enough,
The boy they called Palpatine.

4.
Little clone dreamed of being big,
He went to fight alongside a Jedi,
He began to carry out the order to kill…
Dead clones cannot dream.

This is, of course, not the last one :smile04:

This is a generic image, and you can find it on every forum (they are sometimes also called newbies).
Any coincidences are accidental, and the author is not responsible if you see your acquaintance in it (or even yourself O_o).

A little boy found a keyboard,
a little boy went to the forum,
a little boy organized a tournament,
and for some reason, he spammed everything.

A little boy got to the forum,
he didn't understand what to do here,
"Oh, I've decided, I'll be the first in the top."
The boy is now Mr. Offtopic.

Added after 7 minutes
A little boy found Heroes!
A little boy went to the anniversary forum,
"You are all losers and complete crap,"
the boy is now playing alone. :)

Added after 8 minutes
A little boy decided to create a clan
to get more posts.
But they figured out his cunning plan.
His clan has now disappeared.

A little boy found a yataghan.
In his left hand, he took his Nagant pistol.
And so, he went to school as a Terminator.
No one else left the school.

Added 7 minutes later
It's banal, it's old. Yes. But still.

Dark humor... Or rather, scary stories... 1. A little boy found dynamite. Now no one misbehaves in the village. 2. A little boy found a scooter. Now no more poles stand in the village. 3. A little boy found a piece of paper. He went to the toilet with it. The whole group of kids laughed for a long time. That piece of paper was sandpaper... 4. A little boy found a machine gun. He came to school and pulled the trigger. The first lesson was canceled again. If we continue with scary stories, without "A little boy," then... 5. An icicle fell from the roof of a house. The old man went outside and it was in vain. 6. The grandfather found BLEND-A-MED in the field. He kept his teeth, but the grandfather is gone. And so on, and so forth. My attitude towards them is, if they exist, let them be... Added 1 minute ago
This is not my composition... I read it somewhere a long time ago...

A little boy met a dragon. "Hello..." - he managed to say only half a word. Actually, I'm a very bad writer.

I will give you this ring,
With it, you will look into your own soul,
The threat of war will arise in this world...
Pieces of 04 are flying through space...

Once, a peasant fell ill:
He had a backache and wanted to be cured,
But only one healer helped him
"Now everything is fine, thank you, Sandro!"

I have a friend (she's 15), and we collect these kinds of poems together.)))
Well, what can you do? I really like it:smile20:

*Sleep, my little monster, sleep,
The lights are out in the morgue.
Corpses lie on the shelves.
Flies buzz around them.

Sleep, my little monster, sleep,
Soon you'll be there too.

Sleep, my little monster, sleep,
In the morning you'll wake up in blood.
Little legs hang on the wall.
Little arms boil in a pot.
Little eyes are eaten by ants.
Sleep, my little monster, sleep!!!!

Sleep, my little monster, sleep.
Tomorrow you'll wake up in blood.
A knife sticks out of your back.
Sleep, my little monster, sleep! Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep!!!!!:D

*Lullaby for naughty children.
Tired little animals sleep...
A little fly dozes in a web.
Hanging on a hook,
A quiet little worm sleeps.
Looking like a piece of coal,
A burnt little moth sleeps.
A carefree little bug sleeps,
Crushed under a log.
Sleeping, looking like a flat pancake,
A hedgehog that was run over by a car.
Choking on a shell,
A little squirrel sleeps under a pine tree.
A chipmunk sleeps in a dead sleep,
Having run into a knot.
Drowning in a stinky puddle,
A little chick sleeps and doesn't worry.
And on the dry floor,
Little fish sleep in a corner.
Sleeping, wrapped around a tire,
A little animal that was run over by a car.
A killed little fox sleeps,
A strangled little bird sleeps.
A shot little bunny sleeps,
A little mouse dozes in a mousetrap.
Sleeping, covering its nose with its paw,
A little dog that died of hunger.
A hanged cat sleeps,
A crushed flea sleeps,
Tired little animals sleep,
SLEEP, OR I'LL HIT YOU WITH A PILLOW!!!:D

*At night, Yegor climbed into Natasha's room.
A thief stole a toy from his friend.
He won't be able to carry the doll out the gate -
Natasha throws an axe accurately...

*The children were sitting in the hallway,
And they were breaking the fingers of little Petya.
A loud, joyful laugh rang out -
There is nothing better than children's fun!

*Grandpa Vasya climbed into a ravine,
There he came across a pack of dogs.
The dogs grumbled for a long time,
Old people taste better than sausage.

*They tortured her for a long time,
They hit her with a shovel, they bit her with their teeth.
They put a rusty fork to her throat,
But they still opened the beer bottle. :D

*A little girl found a turd in the field, -
She went to her uncle with this object.
"Throw away this crap!" - said the uncle, -
He wiped his face for a long time afterwards!

*A little boy found a mine.
He put it in his backpack and got on the bus.
Someone looked at the boy there with a frown...
Only the wheels went on from there.

*Little Masha was looking for raspberries,
She stepped on a mine with her foot.
I will dream of those blue eyes on the pine tree for a long time. :)))

Okay, here are a few more, maybe someone will like them: *I beat you up And maybe the bruises Haven't quite faded yet, But let them not bother you anymore, I won't hit you with anything else. I beat you silently, hopelessly, Tormented by endless sadism. I beat you so gently and tenderly, May God grant you to be beaten by someone else. *My cat is missing Why did she disappear? I didn't mistreat her I just remember one time I stuck a cube in her eye With a little blue corner Why did she disappear? I didn't mistreat her I just remember one time I put the cat in a basin Washed, scrubbed, and rinsed And then waited for 3 days The cat dried and dried and dried And then it just died Why did she disappear? I didn't mistreat her *A little girl cried with bitter tears, An uncle asked, passing by: "What's wrong, little one, what puddle did you make?" "My grandfather died!" whispered the child. "How did it happen?" - "Our house caught fire!" "So it burned down?" - "No, he jumped out the window!" "So he broke?" - "No, no, oh no, They put up a tent, he was lucky." "Maybe he missed?" - "No, he bounced And jumped down again..." "So it burned down?" - "No, he survived, Our grandfather knew how to do stunts!" "So, he broke?" - "No, the tent caught him!" "Maybe he missed?" - "No, no way, he hit!" He bounced and returned to the roof, The fire had already started on the floor. "So, it burned down?" - "No, no, dear!" He jumped down again... "So, he broke?" - "No, he survived, But he jumped onto the ledge again." "So, what happened to him, what are the secrets, What happened to him, who should I ask?" The girl hesitated to answer... "He tormented everyone! They shot him!" *In a terrible and dark forest, Dirty, ragged, angry, tired, He wanders, overgrown with a thick beard, A boy, forgotten by a school excursion. *Bloody vampires sleep, devils sleep. The dead want to sleep in their graves. Even the Devil goes to bed To dream of us at night. Wish him good night - bye-bye... *The old joker loved to joke, He hammered a rusty nail into his granddaughter's forehead. The granddaughter died under her favorite laughter, And the joke amused all the relatives. *Two mushroom pickers got lost in the forest. They shouted for a long time - "Hey!" and "Hey!" The bear remained full and satisfied - There was no need to make so much noise. *I'm turning my little sister in a meat grinder (The meat falls into the basin) And for some reason, I'm a little sad - I guess I'll cry now... *Philya came to the studio tired. Stepan and Karkusha were eating lard. Philya asked: "Where is our Hryusha?" "He's gone," Karkusha sobbed. (What jerks!) *Once, a boy named Voldemar Was kidnapped by a huge squid in the sea For a long time in the lands of Zanzibar People ate squid-Voldemar... *Little Borya climbed onto the fence. His uncle took an axe out of his pocket, He threw it skillfully, like an experienced Zorro, But only half of Borya fell off the fence. *Dad gave his son a dagger - So that his son would love him more. Dad was reading the newspaper in the kitchen, The gift was sticking out between his shoulder blades. *A zombie looks at me terribly, That evil undead looks at me, The burning peat won't save me, It won't save me, because I'm dead. I was bitten too, The world can't live like this anymore, Everyone is bitten, and I am, A moose, a bear, a giraffe, a pig! Who will help us all now? Who can't live like this anymore? Who will help? You or me? Maybe a moose, a giraffe, a pig? Well, guys, it's a mess here, Zombies and ghouls everywhere...