Posts from Humor in Heroes of Might and Magic V.

you can find the Tears of Aschi in the Dak obelisks within a few weeks, if not less.

I wandered around for about five weeks! It felt like a long time...

No, I didn't start playing Heroes 5: The Power of Order. In the first mission, you need to find the Tear of Ascha. I spent about 2 weeks looking for it (in real time), playing for 2 hours a day, running around, and digging everywhere. Now I'm thinking about how simple it actually was.

Ugh... I had a ton of bugs with that Tear! However, most of the time, I didn't have enough time to find it before finishing the mission.

*shamelessly reposted, but I don't think everyone has seen it*
Prorok67: "In Chile, a tigress gave birth to five white tiger cubs at once, although usually no more than three..."
Prorok67: Year of the Tiger - population increase of white tigers +2 for all factions.

My friend wrote this. She doesn't have internet access (it's been disconnected). I'm posting it at her request. Please be kind and don't complain.
A Crazy Heroes Fan.
I sit in front of the screen with my friend
And I beat the terrible monsters with my army.
I sit in the chair, thinking,
And a book lies here.
I learn new words,
But they don't stick in my brain.
And what's in my brain, tell me!
Only Heroes are there.
Even if you hypnotize me.
I'd give anything for them!
This word is a pleasure in itself,
No one can replace Heroes for me.
Five minutes is already a joy for me.
No one can convince me not to play them.
The other day, my sister asked me:
"Why have you gone crazy, damn it!
How much have you annoyed all of us
With your: "Why don't you all go play it?!"
Who are "they," explain to me!
Tell me, who do you secretly adore!
What are you mumbling about some evil?
And what are you quietly telling me?"
And what should I answer to these idiots?
How can I tell them that Heroes are my love?
They don't understand, you fools -
Heroes and King's Bounty are my blood.
The other day, I went completely crazy:
I'm writing poems about Heroes day and night.
And an entry in my Heroes diary
For some reason screams about exams...

This is the third time she's written it. Don't judge too harshly.
Should I post a little boy playing through the campaigns and the reasons for the appearance of the alt-upgrade by the same author?

She writes three times as much. Don't judge too harshly.
Should I post about a little boy in the campaigns and the reasons for the appearance of an alt-upgrade by the same author?

Not a bad poem. Although there isn't much humor in it. A typical situation :D (I started writing poems that tell the story of the campaigns, but inspiration only lasted for the first two missions).

Go ahead and post it :). I think everyone will be interested in reading it.

Beautiful poem! Thank you for sharing it.

Damn, it suits an elf bisexual more...

Has anyone heard the joke about the bottomless bag of sunflower seeds?

Has anyone heard the joke about the endless bag of sunflower seeds?

Everyone!

And for those who haven't:
"New artifact - Endless Bag of Sunflower Seeds - the hero just stands on the map and skips turns."

Phew, I struggled with it for a long time. I already posted it on the forum of the "Heroes" corner, and now I'm posting it here. A song about the Dwarves (the melody is taken from Makarevich's "Blue Bird"). We walked such long distances: You can't figure anything out without a half-liter. We didn't get discouraged in ambushes - We drank wine in the snow and in the rain. We don't cry in icy water And we don't burn in fire! We are hunters for treasure - Gold from the depths of the mountains. We are hunters for treasure - Gold from the depths of the mountains. They say that over these years All the gold in the world has disappeared, That among the rest of the ore There is no such metal! They say that it was taken To distant lands long ago, But I declare directly: "We will still get some anyway." I declare directly: "We will still get some anyway." But, alas, there are disputes in the kingdom. And the reason is trivial - The Imperial Lords wanted To get our boy. That boy is Prince Andrei, The Imperial family, But we just want more wine - Their problems don't matter to us. We just want more wine - Their problems don't matter to us. We cast wonderful magic - We use runes instead of spells. And we use another power - Besides mana, we have a gift - Runes are a serious matter - A lot of money is needed for them. And what are they needed for? It's very simple, We have to pay for the runes, damn it. What are they needed for? It's very simple, We have to pay for the runes, damn it.

That's for sure... in our world, without P()llitra, you won't understand anything:smile39:

Dianel, what about some poems about a little heroic boy? And in this poem, I liked the verse about Andrias, and the fact that "we don't care." Now, two stories (made up by me, any coincidences are accidental): Two boys meet at school, both playing "Heroes 5." One walks by the other and hits him with an empty bottle. When the second boy turns around, offended, the first says: "But I have the 'unresponsive strike' ability." "Nothing like that," says the second boy, taking a textbook out of his backpack. "But I have 'Skilled Counterattack'," he says and hits the first on the head with the textbook, "and 'Diabolic Strike'." With the second blow, with all his might, the "offended" one ends his tirade. The first is in shock :). Castle defense. Like in the game. The line at the bottom describes the events. "Knights are gathering to attack the hellish steeds (humans are defending), they begin to move." "The soldiers didn't have time to open the gates..." "The hellish steeds neigh in every sense of the word at the knights smeared on the gates :D."

The president declared it the year of children. The number of children and child berserkers has doubled. This was my first thought when I heard the news (it was last year, I think). :D