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. All these figures are based solely on data from people who are willing to provide it, but they do not reflect the entire reality. I'm not saying that such examples don't exist, but it doesn't apply to all men and women. A person is such a subjective being that no numbers and statistics will account for all the nuances.

. In the last century, before all these dating sites, ads, and social networks, people found partners and got married not based on appearance or some social activities, but because relatives introduced them to someone. And usually, it was a "parent-approved" arranged marriage, and there was no talk of love. Especially in villages. The opinions of the girl and the guy were of little interest to anyone, yes. And there were no divorces then not because the families were ideal, but because it was condemned by the church/society. And they tolerated unfaithful spouses, alcoholics, and domestic tyrants.

. Even in the time of our parents, a certain calculation was involved. And they looked not at appearance, but at what family the person came from and whether the second half was suitable in terms of social status. And going against the will of the parents was not easy. Although dating through correspondence, random phone calls, and newspaper ads already existed. But it was dangerous, and you could run into some kind of inadequate person.

. Now, in the "marketplace," there is almost complete freedom of choice. If we are talking about adequately raised people, parents no longer influence the choice, as well as social status (yes, there are still mothers who raise "mama's boys/girls" and instill in them that there is no person worthy of their child). And it turned out that with this freedom, a kind of gateway to hell opened. Here you have statistics on divorces because people realized that they can leave bad spouses. And girls are now actively "selling" their bodies on OnlyFans "to please the 'suitable partners'" (in reality, to profit from them). And crowds of lonely people.

. Moreover, loneliness is largely due not to those very ill-fated dating sites, but to the psychological characteristics of the people themselves. It has become more convenient for everyone to communicate in a safe format through correspondence than to look for live meetings and acquaintances. Again, not everyone has the desire and opportunity to go to some kind of interest groups where you can actually meet someone suitable because it is a step out of your comfort zone. While you are sitting at home and communicating through correspondence, you know for sure: you will not be killed, raped, robbed, or swindled for a large sum in a fake restaurant. Hence, the opinion that everyone chooses partners "only based on appearance." After all, in correspondence, you don't see anything except the face presented in the photo.

We don't need data from all people because most people are more or less the same in terms of behavior when it comes to relationships. Damn, even among your acquaintances, there are examples of guys who, for some reason, found a "replacement" by the time they reached a certain age. Are they so bad and uninteresting that there are no other options, or what?

Yes, they met through relatives, at work, in their village. But the situation was roughly the same as with the saleswoman and the loader. The other saleswomen HAD to take the remaining "normal" guys. They didn't stop wanting the most attractive ones because of that. In some cases, they even had children with him, not with the "normal" guys. And everyone tolerates it, both the "normal" guys and the saleswomen.

Loneliness is due to the fact that it has become very clear who the "elves" are. And not like in some movies, but right here in your city. Why bother with a loader when you can go into an app where there's a non-zero chance that the best "elf" in the city will pay attention to you? Or even an "elf" from another country.

16 years ago

I agree with the example of a guy who got an RSP from the SZ. But he's 17, and he shouldn't be held responsible.
With the second example, where a couple has been together for over 7 years, you're completely wrong. They met in their mid-20s as friends with similar interests, plus the same social circle. Neither of them was initially attracted to each other, and for several months, no one saw them as a potential couple. Their relationship, with all that it entails, began very gradually, not because "they wanted sex," but because they had not only shared interests but also a similar value system. And eventually, at some point, they both realized that they couldn't just see each other and live separately. And yes, she's the kind of girl that even with a "loser" partner, she's amazing in every way (not about appearance, although she's great in that too, but about the domestic side, she's a great homemaker). And no matter the situation, it doesn't depend on whether she has a child or not; people just enjoy being together.

"The remaining normies," hahaha. More likely, it's just a case of "at least I won't be alone."

Watch "Men/Women" and you'll see that many women choose "Арбузерs" and Kazbek-Dzhanibeks from their cities, where their appearance is often so bad that even a bag wouldn't save them. And most often, these guys leave them with children, going to lovers (and then they leave the lovers too).

And sometimes it's the other way around; the woman would wear a bag over her face and a gag so she wouldn't speak, while the guy is quite normal, and she would worship him.

In general, I agree with Kosha because everyone bases their arguments on stereotypes taken from personal experience, the experience of friends, acquaintances, and also from some generalizing materials on the internet, and in the end, the conversation starts to go nowhere.

I can only conclude that it's much easier to start a good relationship in your late teens or early twenties than after 30.

And it's not just about appearance, but about what's in their head. As they get older, people lose their flexibility of thought, and this greatly hinders building relationships. For example, if a person is used to drinking 0.5-1 liter of beer every evening, they are unlikely to get along with a non-drinking partner because the latter will see something unacceptable in this. Someone is a neat freak and wants the house to be perfectly clean, while the other is okay with letting the house get messy for a week or a month and then cleaning it all at once (or better yet, have someone else clean it). In their 20s, all of this is discussed, and it's not difficult to find a compromise, but older people start defending their comfort zone and don't want to leave it because it's become ingrained in their minds. There are many such everyday examples.

And when you start looking for a partner and meet a single person over 30, the first subconscious question you ask is: what's wrong with him? "I'm a normie, and I don't have anyone because I'm a normie—but is he really a normie?"—this is the thought that haunts people. Divorced? Eats a lot? Drinks/smokes a lot? Mentally ill?—a thousand and one pitfalls that you can stumble upon during a conversation/date with a potential partner if you initially met with this purpose in mind.

Of course, no one wants a crocodile with a repulsive appearance, but at that age, they don't look so closely at height and facial features—I beg you.