Knights of Tezoth

"Hmph, not everyone knows the word pastel."

- Vargas. There are facets of a certain wondrous harmony in our names, are there not? May I guess — perhaps you seek some treasure, or even an elixir of eternal life, lying far beyond the seven seas in a flooded cave that opens only at low tide, guarded by a giant squid? I don't particularly believe in fantastical coincidences, but imagine this — I have a comrade, also a sailor, and we just recently agreed to embark on a sea voyage. So you tell me, does fate exist? We could join forces; the boundless watery expanses have always greatly interested me, and I think my employer will agree if she's asked nicely. There's just one tiny snag, — he takes a sip of mineral water. — We've got a bit of a kindergarten squabble brewing here, and it needs to be settled first — separate the fools and collect a few heads. For the sake of these good people, — he nods toward the previously disgruntled crowd, and delivers his current take in full voice, so that they can hear. — The working folk think none of this will touch them and trouble won't come to their door, and I can understand that — one who has never seen war does not comprehend danger. But one phrase has stuck in my memory, which I happened to overhear from some provincial lord. How did it go... — he pretends to recall, though he remembers it perfectly and precisely. — Something like "impale the men on wooden pikes, and the women on meat hooks." I don't care for such a forecast, and I won't let it come to pass.
He brings the tone of the conversation back to a private, dialog-like format:
- Heh. But recruiting a crew in a bar is a good idea, and quite a classic one. Do you have any deadline for your adventure?

Ardasa can't be defeated, Karnarez can't be handled. How to play - no idea...

Cost: 8 equipment, 2 gold per turn.
Warrior of Fatalita

+5 to body and +5 to mind, +3 to all characteristics.

Characteristics
Mind: 18
Body: 18
Insight: 13
Energy: 13
Aesthetics: 13

Parameters
Spirit Strength: 18
Spirit: 180
Defense: 18 (58)
Health: 180
Accuracy: +13% (+66%)
Evasion: +13% (16%)
AP: 3.9 (4)
OD: 3.9
Initiative: 13
Charisma: 13
Critical damage chance: +13
Trainability: 3
Inventory capacity: 13

Skills

Outcast
In exchange for 1 OD, the character picks the lock of a chest/door or appropriates a random item from the target's inventory or equipment. 

Reflection
Reflects damage and effects directed at the caster back (mind power check). Spell, requires spending 1 OD on your turn to activate, lasts until the end of combat. 

Enslavement
After combat ends, in exchange for 1 OD, forces the defeated target to obey your will; if they act against the master's interests, their head explodes like an overripe watermelon. 

Bow
The character can use a bow.

Armor Wearing
The character can wear heavy armor.

Injuries

Impotence
The character is incapable of curtain adventures and procreation. 

Fragility
The character takes double damage from any source.

Equipment
Right hand: Bow, Damage: 65, range: 10.
Left hand: Quiver of arrows 20/20
Body: Heavy armor, +25 to defense. Requires the armor wearing skill. 
Head: Steel helmet with visor, -5% chance of being critically hit, +5 to defense. Requires the armor wearing skill. 
Legs: Plate boots, +1 to AP, +5 to defense. Requires the armor wearing skill.
Hands: Gloves, +3% to accuracy.
Shoulders: Knight's surcoat with the owner's coat of arms, +3% to evasion, +5 to defense. Requires the armor wearing skill. 
Other 1: Quiver of arrows 20/20
Other 2:
Other 3:

Inventory
-

Will enslave and make you dress decently.

I wouldn't trust a squad of warriors with the "I was just passing by" trait. Especially if the commander is the only one who doesn't have it...

It's not a war crime if you don't get caught.

Turn 1 - Faredjia
Faredjia sets up templates
Faredjia creates a squad in Kerves
Faredjia buys 3 units of ikazkaniy, ifillium, and aconium from Vistory Sjofnlovn (-900)
Jel updates Kerves' turn
Kerves builds a ship
Galaharadron updates Kerves' turn
Kerves builds a ship
Gurrddongr updates Kerves' turn
Kerves produces 8 units of equipment
Stratos builds an A-bomb, gives it to Cecilia, Cecilia boards the ship.

"I'm getting lucky!" (thought every player)

I wouldn't trust a man with the "I was just passing by" trait. Especially if he has the "Kama" skill.

You won't get any child support from this one

Does this also work on units? Even on figures, or only on other units? I hope that if it does work, it's only the latter. Otherwise, every second region will recruit a couple of these guys to boost their Knights.

too bad there's no critical miss, or the ship could have sailed around the continent/island, then returned to the port of departure and blown up right there

If the faction's capital (or adjacent cells) is attacked before its turn begins, a battle occurs with all units, as I understand it?

Another kamikaze has shown up...

Doesn't work. It would be too much of a hassle to keep track of who gives what to whom.