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Posts from The life of a Necromancer is not easy.

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12 years ago
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As soon as the sun rises above the horizon, the clouds dissipate, and the necromancer becomes more timid and responsible for his wardrobe. Hundreds of sketches of hats and hoods, drawn in blood, are sent to tailors. Soon, a courier rides on horseback towards the crypt.
The happy necromancer, trying on the garments, is very clumsy because the mirror does not reflect the complete picture of the outfit. This is where any living person comes to the rescue. Although there have never been any dissatisfied exclamations about an ill-chosen outfit, the living quickly become dead, the inkwells for new drawings are replenished, and the necromancer satisfies his need.
But that's not all. What to do with literally sagging cheeks and bulging eyes? Necromancers have found a solution to this problem as well: raven's beaks hold the eyes from the inside very well, and ordinary irons smooth out the skin well - but here, the main thing is not to overdo it, otherwise, with firm, toned skin, you can get a free tanning bed.....

And what do you know about necromancers?
Trolling is created to identify the most worthless resident of the forum. Most likely, his message will be the last in the topic.
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12 years ago
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What do you know about necromancers?

And what do you know about them?

Go play Plants vs Zombies.

Added after 23 minutes
I agree with only one thing: life isn't easy.
In reply to Саня Изи
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12 years ago
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Death Lord

Go play Plants vs Zombies.
Don't like flowers?
Life as a necromancer in Russia is easy – everyone lives like that – that's just how things are!
But there are plenty of "pretend" necromancers who call themselves that. Especially those sleeping under a blanket! ;)

Added 11 minutes later
And the necromancer takes a zombie recruit into the army, who thinks of himself as a great lord of the dead, and throws him into the thick of battle against archers. And then the zombie realizes that all he can do is obey and keep moving forward, even with arrows in his backside.
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12 years ago
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That’s what I’m saying – it was a major explosion, the sirens are wailing.
In reply to Саня Изи
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12 years ago
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Lord of Death
That's what I'm saying – something exploded, and the sirens are wailing.
Zombies are so lazy that it's easier for them to stay in a warm bed than to look out the window and turn off the car alarm, or ask a neighbor if it's their car, or just buy earplugs. But no, a real zombie is convinced that it's not his problem, and that's how it's supposed to be. The siren is wailing – that's how it should be.
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12 years ago
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12 years ago
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This is what happens when a zombie looks at its problem but can’t figure out how to solve it.
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12 years ago
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First, I read "The Life of a Drug Addict is Not Easy." It seems that this is the actual title of the topic.
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12 years ago
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Unfortunately, only necromancers are capable of thinking. All other creatures merely waste their existence in the tranquil flow of time. Every mortal is doomed to drift through an ocean of lies and immorality.
Some, particularly inattentive individuals, who rarely visit libraries or spend nights studying, forget letters and their native language. Such individuals must be eliminated and brought under the banner of a necromancer – for this is what burdens their existence.
Askhah turns everything to good use!
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12 years ago
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Necromancers really, really love alcohol; it slows down the decomposition of organs and internal tissues.
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12 years ago
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Partially, the idea about a tangible phantom of Jango Fett is correct.
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12 years ago
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Should I also design a door for your apartment?

Added 5 minutes later
Askh always turns things to his advantage!

In reply to Саня Изи
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12 years ago
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Death Lord
Should I also design a door for your apartment?
Should I nail it to death? Or maybe just board it up?
A door is a purely material substance that carries no semantic meaning for a necromancer. It is only needed by the servants who tremble in fear when they feel like zombies.
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12 years ago
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Did you stab her to death? Maybe bludgeon her?

Oh my god, listen, facepalm after facepalm. Go ahead and write something else.

Added 7 minutes later
[/U]Actually, never mind. I'm too lazy to troll you anymore, you're just being so awful.
In reply to Саня Изи
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12 years ago
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Lord of Death
OMG, listen, facepalm after facepalm. Go ahead and write something else. It gives me energy.
Mortals get energy from Jaguar, so don't get your hopes up, you pretentious one.

Added 4 minutes later
Lord of Death
Although, no. I'm already too lazy to troll you, you're just that bad.
The necromancer, with his endless stream of summoned zombies, is like bird droppings falling from the sky. He doesn't understand that the power cannot be found in the thoughtless pursuit of apathy. So be it, green zombie, truly unable to comprehend the true faith, dresses in robes that can only bring forth gothic laughter. Repent for your sins, ordinary zombie, raised by television, like so many others. Seek within yourself the light of individuality and forget about your mundane problems. Be a beast in your soul, but with a rational spirit, find your own path.
...The hunter becomes the hunted.

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