Posts from It’s a very long story… Auto-translated

A virus aimed at destroying gamers' minds – their hard drives. Gamers sent Kaspersky to fight the virus. But Kaspersky didn't even try to fight it; instead, he simply labeled the mouse and keyboard as viruses, deleted their drivers, laughed, and updated himself. The gamers had a hard time. They knew they should have installed Nod, but now they can only reinstall Windows. But pirated disks became unavailable due to the treacherous actions of the evil Bill Gates. The gamers became sad...

And then this guy showed up! He was covered in iPhones and Air MacBooks (forgot how it's called, but it's for his dad))) and he said, "PCs are for losers" and added, "Buy an iPhone." The gamers told him it's expensive, and it's not even available in Russia, only if you buy a gray market one, and the only operator is ITT, although you can hack it so that even Beeline will work. The guy was horrified and took out his next gadget, a MacBook Air, a few millimeters thick and weighing less than a kilogram. They started playing Quake on it, and they poked a hole through it with their finger after the first kill (what do you expect, it's as thin as a sheet of paper))). And they said, "No, your computers are expensive, your laptops are bad, and your phones are too flashy." The game ETI Sport gave them a solution; it's Microsoft's secret weapon against Linux (because you can squash penguins, the symbol of Linux))) the gamers decided.

Back to PC. Because only a terribly buggy Windows could crash MegaBot. They started building a mega-computer and installed Windows 95 on it. Gamers were incredibly happy! They immediately started playing Crisis and completely loaded Windows. And they would have continued to torture MegaBot like this if the exam period hadn't arrived...

Added after 31 seconds
Come on, increase my BD - only 8 increases left!

But the session had a purpose (as I understand it). MegaBot's allies and friends bribed the sensitive, responsive, and kind Snezhanna Inisovna. They turned her into a terrible monster who mercilessly recruited children and tried to incite them against gamers. Her students attended a secret gaming school and could destroy gamers. It became difficult for the gamers...

But the gamers understood the opponent's weakness. They played with prepared squads, focusing only on simulation games. And the gamers dug out floppy disks with Warcraft 1, Dune 2, Doom, Battle Tanks, and King's Bounty. And the fans of simulation games surrendered, unable to withstand the onslaught of old pixels. But MegaBot didn't give up, bribed Microsoft, and together they began to push out the old games with clones and imitations. And the gamers brought out "Electronika" and started to push back against the clones. Then MegaBot used Microsoft's last reserve – Xbox. But the gamers were helped by newer, but also high-quality, games. They built their own army. "General plan. Panorama. The banners and standards of the Praetorian Guard flutter. Gnome bombardiers light the fuses and smirk maliciously. Three hundred and twenty-five Black Dragons compactly and in a very heroic way await their turn." A resident of the 13th shelter checks with his PIP-boy. The Rainbow special forces squad plans the assault. "An unusually quiet group of corsairs cleans their muskets." The Commando squad prepares for another raid behind enemy lines. "Tanks and artillery are arranged in a hexagonal formation. Belligerent orcs give final instructions to their peons. With creaking, unlubricated interfaces, the ancient Sardaukar dig in on the hills." The Jedi meditate before the battle, trying to achieve balance in the Force. Surprisingly well-organized, a square of demons is formed under the leadership of Diablo himself. Gordon Freeman polishes his trusty crowbar. The Children of Baal summon all the power of their divine father. The Denton brothers recharge their batteries to fully utilize their implants. "Everyone is ready to fight to the last drop of PC blood." ... P.S. The text in quotes was shamelessly stolen from the "Navigator" magazine.

And the battle began. Vault Dweller, along with Chosen, held the right flank with stationary bazookas, repelling the relentless stream of Japanese vehicles packed with explosives. These vehicles usually compete in speed races on city streets, so their ground clearance was too low for off-road terrain. The motorized horde got bogged down in the swamp.
As true warriors, and further enhanced with implants, the Denton brothers, along with the equally weaponized nameless marine who loved to shoot down flying heads with his BFG, launched a diversionary raid into the enemy's rear. Oh... but this little cannon could have caused our brave guys to suffer huge losses. Luckily, it, along with a half-kilometer-long trench, is now burning in hellfire. Heh. And Baal turned out to be not so bad after all. The old man is rocking.
Hmm. Here we see Gordon leading a desperate frontal assault, commanding his loyal Imperial Commandoes. Not surprising, as he also wears power armor... what irony. They clashed with their pale copies, the Terrans. Terrans... they have no right to bear the name of the Holy Terra. Horrible, nasty creatures. They raided a warehouse and stole power armor. To cover this up, they renamed it a spacesuit... and what can their paper Zerg do against a fully natural Tyranid? Nothing. Well, that's it. A gun won't save you from a trusty chainsword and an equally trusty crowbar.
Oh. What a battle. Poor Sims. What were they even trying to prove, waving slippers and pancake spatulas?
And so... the battle is over. The remaining enemy fled in disgrace. The "electronics" were overheating. The always-catching-up wolf couldn't catch the chicken eggs. But it's all over. Although... what's this? Something fell from the sky...

P.S. Have you noticed that if a topic doesn't end with admins and bans, it's either about students, exams, and grade books, or computer games?

Or rather, Sailor Moon, a warrior in a sailor suit, appeared. And she said, "I bring retribution in the name of the Moon and Japanese animation!" And with her were her loyal friends Sailor Mars, Snickers, Twix, and Bounti. And all this group pounced on the unfortunate wolf, as if he were a representative of Soviet cartoons, but the wolf was not so simple...

After all, the wolf used to be a seasoned Soviet police officer, as evidenced by the sickle and hammer tattooed on his chest. Sailor Moons with their Pokémon couldn't do anything against police lieutenant D.Yu. Volk. Because the wolf had a secret combo – a crowbar up his sleeve! He brutally beat up the Pikachu trainers...

...but they didn't give up and cunningly took Cheburashka hostage! Sighing and rubbing their bruises, they carried the poor creature to their residence, where they planned to turn him into one of their allies after cruel torture by watching all 785421 episodes of "Sailor Moon" and 982543 episodes of "Pokémon"! Detective D. Yu. Wolf enlisted the help of Gena the Crocodile, who was ready to tear all the Pokémon apart, Old Woman Shapoklyak, and other beloved Soviet cartoon characters, as well as some old, cool gamers, and a great army set out against the evil Pokémon...

P.S. I used to love "Sailor Moon," but now I just like the anime and manga drawing style (cute big eyes ^_^).

.... Pikachu!!! The army heard it, what should they do? Panic began in the squad; it's Pikachu, he'll fry them all. The gamers frantically started thinking, "Maybe connect one wire to Pikachu's tail and another to his nose, and when he strikes, a closed-loop recursion will occur, and Pikachu will collapse?" Or maybe "..." or "..."... The gamers thought for a long time, and they agreed on the idea that they should detach a piece of land with hundreds of tons of nuclear missiles, and Pikachu will fly into space. There was little time left, and Pikachu was approaching. The gamers went for explosives, and then the brilliant wise man, the Human, had a truly brilliant idea!!!! He took out a shotgun and started shooting at Pikachu. "It didn't occur to us," said the gamers, and, disappointed by such a banal ending, they went on... P.S.

I used to be obsessed with "Sailor Moon," but now I just like the anime and manga drawing style.

I don't like long-running anime; I prefer short-series masterpieces, such as "Hellsing," which has only 14 episodes + a full-length movie (the 4th and final episode came out today), but what a plot... It shows that the guys from Gonzo worked on it; this studio is to anime what Capcom is to games.

And then this happened...
A Death Knight named Arthes jumped out to meet the gamers, and behind him hordes of monsters were rushing: skeletons, zombies, and other evil creatures...
But out of nowhere, a Terminator appeared. He said: Hasta la vista, baby! Everyone understood that a clash was inevitable. The decisive battle began...

...the decisive battle, contrary to expectations, did not last long at all.
The Terminator was ready to use his shotgun, Artas was ready to impale every enemy he encountered on Frostmourne, and spin it at least three times, the evil Arantir was preparing to raise Pikachu from the dead, relying on a resurrection method no less effective for a dead and equally electric Paokai, police lieutenant D.Yu. Volk unleashed Gena, who was in a particularly bad mood today, and then... everything suddenly froze. Trembling with fear, they suddenly realized their insignificance, the last nanoseconds of their lives were ticking away. For everyone on the battlefield felt that somewhere out there... in a distant, distant room, little Petya was already reaching for the reset button...

But the boy, Petya, couldn't reach it. The phone rang, he picked it up, and then everything unfolded like in a horror movie...
The Terminator and the others realized that there was nothing to be particularly afraid of, but they were wrong. Arantir did manage to resurrect Pikachu, but unfortunately, Japanese anime is very short-lived, and Pikachu had rotted considerably, so he couldn't use his lightning attack. The Terminator had no choice but to shoot Pikachu again... But at that moment, a kind, smiling man appeared on the field out of nowhere and said: "Hello, my name is Chikatilo..."

Everyone looked at the old man... The Terminator said - hey, old man, what are you even doing here!? Get out and go to your retirement home!...

...Silence...

In the complete silence, a dull thud is heard as the Terminator's head hits the ground...
Everyone understood that a hellish demon had arrived in the polygon-vector world...

"And what the hell are you doing? What neighborhood are you from?!" - shouted the old man, kicking the Terminator's head, which was mumbling something about lost files. Finally, the old man calmed down. "No, but what about him? Is he any good? Probably not even a decent Vasya, maybe he doesn't even drink Zhiguli." Everyone froze, staring blankly at Chicotilo. "No, guys, what's up? Who are you, anyway?" "Just a regular guy, that's all, a typical Ashan guy, trying to be cool, he's not even worthy of a Zhiguli," Arantir decided to play along with the psychopath. The old man softened. "Okay, I see, he's a decent Vasya, let's sit down and have some semki." "Okay." Everyone else was still standing there in a daze. "So, what? We'll have a Zhiguli now, huh, Chicotilo?" "Yeah, let's go steal some mobile phones from those Vasyas, sell them, and buy a Zhiguli!" - Chicotilo exclaimed with enthusiastic excitement, his saliva spraying everywhere, resolutely getting up from his squatting position and heading towards Crocodile Gene and Wolf.