Posts from Humor in Heroes of Might and Magic V.

My computer doesn't make any mistakes and enjoys spreading my armies across the map. Seriously, I haven't even managed to build my third-level structures, and he already has 20 black dragons!
It's hilarious.
But in Heroes of Might and Magic IV, my opponent's army got stuck in a teleport: he appeared on one side of the map, then on the other, throughout the game. I had to finish him off out of pity.

By the way, take a closer look at Isabel (but look at the cutscenes from the campaign, not just the portrait)... there's a clear resemblance to Nicole Kidman))))

And the first mission in the campaign for the Sylvan faction, "Refugees," is very similar to the Georgian-Abkhazian conflict (I hope you're watching the news?:))... And in this case, Georgia plays the role of the Necropolis:)

And if you look even closer at the face of the stone golem... well, it's the spitting image of the lead singer of the Rammstein band! :

P.S. On this forum, someone else mentioned that the Rajakshas are very similar to the lion Boniface:), but I don't remember exactly

And with patch 1.2, I encountered this bug: when a tent heals someone, the following message appears at the bottom: "<<unit name>> received <> damage from the ability "Plague Tent"".

Necromancer to his army:
- Hurry up, hurry up guys, why are you acting like you're dead?
Lich:
- Very funny.
Necromancer:
- Why are you all so gloomy, it's like you're lifeless.
Lich:
- Very funny-2.
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- Why didn't Nikolai eat Isabelle's brains when he was revived? He's a zombie.
- Well..., he tried. He just didn't find any.
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Traffic Jam Week - movement on the road is 10 times slower than off-road.
Artifacts:
- blue flashing light: increases movement speed during traffic jam week (does not work on everyone)
- blue flashing light, siren, and blue license plates: significantly increases speed and allows the use of additional roads
- blue flashing light, siren, homeless plates escorted by a blue flashing light, siren, blue plates, and a striped baton: increases movement speed many times over, stops all traffic on the roads
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"Knowledge is power," thought the demon. Then he reasoned: "If you've got power, you don't need brains," and ignored all other stats.
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"Why don't stools fly like birds?" thought the mage and created a gargoyle.
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Moldovan Week: construction costs in castles are halved. 50% chance that a different building than the one ordered will be built.
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Originally, the forest elf faction had a hero named Papa-Karlo, a Treant specialist. Treants under his command received not only standard attack/defense bonuses, but also changed their appearance (no excess foliage and in brightly colored paper clothes) and received a primer as a spellbook. Additionally, the hero had another special ability: if there were Treants in his army, the keykeepers wouldn't ask for the key. However, the hero was deemed unbalanced and didn't make it into the release...
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here are some more old jokes
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When Raelag was Agrael, he was very unhappy – he didn't like succubi, and he dreamed of getting to know elven girls better.
He went to Tiera with this request – and he helped as best he could.
But Raelag remained unhappy – he was never a fan of S&M.
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Orange City - total OP!!!
Specialization: brings additional oranges to the treasury - one every 3 days. Oranges are not visible on the resource bar, however, only with 15 oranges and 20000 gold can you buy the *Hanging Gardens of Babylon* building... yes yes, don't be surprised, I was the first to find this easter egg in Heroes 5, bwa-ha-ha-ha! Orange Hanging Gardens of Babylon - total OP!!! If you get this city on a large map and manage to build up to them... there you can recruit... attention... the *BLIStyashchie* group! This is a level 8 unit, likely the strongest in the game. Non-upgraded are just *Blistyashchie*, and if you upgrade them (a few more oranges, I don't remember how many), then JEANNA FRISKE joins the Blistyashchie (!!) What's the result: With their attack *bananas, coconuts, orange paradise* (and when upgraded, Zhanna sings *la-la-la* along with them), they crush everything in their path... think about it, this unit is perfect! Tons of HP, an attack like *plywood* destroys everything...
also, the spellbook contains the spell *Summon Arash*... well, you know what a hot guy he is... not to mention the *super-blonde* and *MUZ-TV Award Strike* abilities...
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Heroes of Ball and Magic at the World Cup.
The Knight sits calmly in his seat and prays for his favorite team's victory.
The Wizard casts a spell that should teleport the opposing team's goalkeeper off the field.
The Elf sneaks onto the field, camouflages himself as the grass, and invisibly trips the opposing footballers.
The Dark Elf watches indifferently as 22 idiots beat up a sphere for some reason.
The Demon patiently waits for the end of the match and the fan brawl. Today there will be plenty of meat...
The Necromancer doesn't care about football, he's watching the demon. Today a bunch of new skeletons will appear...
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Gargoyle - "go kill yourself against a wall" delivered

You're awesome! I'm dying of laughter)))) "Kill yourself and hit the wall" - delivered with style, that's a great line.

Today I'm playing as Necropolis: the capital is Appel-Sin.

A Knight without a sword is like a Knight with a sword, only without the sword.

Here is a short one:
A Beholder and a Cyclops played "Eye-Rip".:D
Or here's another one:
Once, the Barbarians caught an Assassin, a Titan, and a goblin.
Their chief tells them: I give you three tasks, and whoever completes them, I shall release. 1st—make your way through the forest of basilisks; 2nd—rip out the eye of the cyclops living in the cave beyond the forest; 3rd—catch and f... (sorry for the censorship) the local Fury whom no one can catch.
The assassin went first; he was eaten by the Basilisks. The goblin asked them for a mug of alcohol for courage and set off; he sneaked through the forest, entered the cave, sounds were heard, but he did not return. The Titan asked for a barrel of alcohol, drank it, and set off; he trampled the Basilisks, entered the cave, sounds were heard, time passes, the Titan comes out of the cave and says: "Well, where is your Fury whose eye needs to be ripped out!!!":D

There was one funny thing: as everyone probably knows, sometimes flocks of birds fly by, but flocks of GRIFFONS – that’s just too much!:smile02:

By the way, try to remember how beasts and furies die: if one fury runs into a fire trap, you might think it stepped on a rake! :smile40:

Here's a short one:
A Beholder and a Cyclops were playing "Eye Poker".:D
Or here's another:
Barbarians caught an Assassin, a Tan, and a Goblin.
Their leader says to them, "I'll give you three tasks, and whoever completes them, I'll let go. 1st - sneak through the forest of Basilisks, 2nd - pluck out the eye of a Cyclops living in a cave behind the forest, 3rd - catch and... well, you know (sorry for the censorship)... the local Fury that no one can catch."
The Assassin went first, and the Basilisks ate him. The Goblin asked them for a cup of alcohol for courage and went, sneaking through the forest, entered the cave, sounds were heard, but he didn't return. Tan asked for a barrel of alcohol, drank it, and went, trampled the Basilisks, entered the cave, sounds were heard, time passes, Tan comes out of the cave and says, "So, where's your Fury whose eye I need to pluck out?!":D

No, redoing old jokes isn't cool.

No, reworking old jokes isn't fun.

It might not be fun for you, but there are many people who don't know this joke, and they will find it very funny:cool:.

It’s both funny and frustrating when a lucky hit misses a ghost (because luck is on your side!:D).

When the first Heroes game came out, someone described gargoyles to me like this: "I have a white toilet in my bathroom, and a gargoyle has the same shape, only it's green." :D

The other day, I witnessed a funny bug. I was trying to recapture a mine from the royal griffins. I positioned my archers, and the battle began. The griffins wanted to attack my archers, but they couldn't reach them. So, all of their stacks used "Sky Strike." That is, I was standing on the battle map all alone. What to do? Naturally, I immediately redeployed my units. All the griffins attacked the square where the archers had been. One of their stacks missed an empty space, and the second... but the third one used "Sky Strike" on their own griffins!:eek: I was very surprised. I didn't even think that "Sky Strike" could kill its own units – due to a lack of space.