Rean
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Necromancer to his army:
- Hurry up, hurry up guys, why are you acting like you're dead?
Lich:
- Very funny.
Necromancer:
- Why are you all so gloomy, it's like you're lifeless.
Lich:
- Very funny-2.
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- Why didn't Nikolai eat Isabelle's brains when he was revived? He's a zombie.
- Well..., he tried. He just didn't find any.
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Traffic Jam Week - movement on the road is 10 times slower than off-road.
Artifacts:
- blue flashing light: increases movement speed during traffic jam week (does not work on everyone)
- blue flashing light, siren, and blue license plates: significantly increases speed and allows the use of additional roads
- blue flashing light, siren, homeless plates escorted by a blue flashing light, siren, blue plates, and a striped baton: increases movement speed many times over, stops all traffic on the roads
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"Knowledge is power," thought the demon. Then he reasoned: "If you've got power, you don't need brains," and ignored all other stats.
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"Why don't stools fly like birds?" thought the mage and created a gargoyle.
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Moldovan Week: construction costs in castles are halved. 50% chance that a different building than the one ordered will be built.
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Originally, the forest elf faction had a hero named Papa-Karlo, a Treant specialist. Treants under his command received not only standard attack/defense bonuses, but also changed their appearance (no excess foliage and in brightly colored paper clothes) and received a primer as a spellbook. Additionally, the hero had another special ability: if there were Treants in his army, the keykeepers wouldn't ask for the key. However, the hero was deemed unbalanced and didn't make it into the release...
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Added after 8 minutes
http://img272.imageshack.us/img272/6161/10bo1.jpg
Added after 8 minutes
here are some more old jokes
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When Raelag was Agrael, he was very unhappy – he didn't like succubi, and he dreamed of getting to know elven girls better.
He went to Tiera with this request – and he helped as best he could.
But Raelag remained unhappy – he was never a fan of S&M.
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Orange City - total OP!!!
Specialization: brings additional oranges to the treasury - one every 3 days. Oranges are not visible on the resource bar, however, only with 15 oranges and 20000 gold can you buy the *Hanging Gardens of Babylon* building... yes yes, don't be surprised, I was the first to find this easter egg in Heroes 5, bwa-ha-ha-ha! Orange Hanging Gardens of Babylon - total OP!!! If you get this city on a large map and manage to build up to them... there you can recruit... attention... the *BLIStyashchie* group! This is a level 8 unit, likely the strongest in the game. Non-upgraded are just *Blistyashchie*, and if you upgrade them (a few more oranges, I don't remember how many), then JEANNA FRISKE joins the Blistyashchie (!!) What's the result: With their attack *bananas, coconuts, orange paradise* (and when upgraded, Zhanna sings *la-la-la* along with them), they crush everything in their path... think about it, this unit is perfect! Tons of HP, an attack like *plywood* destroys everything...
also, the spellbook contains the spell *Summon Arash*... well, you know what a hot guy he is... not to mention the *super-blonde* and *MUZ-TV Award Strike* abilities...
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Heroes of Ball and Magic at the World Cup.
The Knight sits calmly in his seat and prays for his favorite team's victory.
The Wizard casts a spell that should teleport the opposing team's goalkeeper off the field.
The Elf sneaks onto the field, camouflages himself as the grass, and invisibly trips the opposing footballers.
The Dark Elf watches indifferently as 22 idiots beat up a sphere for some reason.
The Demon patiently waits for the end of the match and the fan brawl. Today there will be plenty of meat...
The Necromancer doesn't care about football, he's watching the demon. Today a bunch of new skeletons will appear...
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Gargoyle - "go kill yourself against a wall" delivered
- Hurry up, hurry up guys, why are you acting like you're dead?
Lich:
- Very funny.
Necromancer:
- Why are you all so gloomy, it's like you're lifeless.
Lich:
- Very funny-2.
-----------------------------------
- Why didn't Nikolai eat Isabelle's brains when he was revived? He's a zombie.
- Well..., he tried. He just didn't find any.
-----------------------------------
Traffic Jam Week - movement on the road is 10 times slower than off-road.
Artifacts:
- blue flashing light: increases movement speed during traffic jam week (does not work on everyone)
- blue flashing light, siren, and blue license plates: significantly increases speed and allows the use of additional roads
- blue flashing light, siren, homeless plates escorted by a blue flashing light, siren, blue plates, and a striped baton: increases movement speed many times over, stops all traffic on the roads
------------------------------------
"Knowledge is power," thought the demon. Then he reasoned: "If you've got power, you don't need brains," and ignored all other stats.
------------------------------------
"Why don't stools fly like birds?" thought the mage and created a gargoyle.
------------------------------------
Moldovan Week: construction costs in castles are halved. 50% chance that a different building than the one ordered will be built.
------------------------------------
Originally, the forest elf faction had a hero named Papa-Karlo, a Treant specialist. Treants under his command received not only standard attack/defense bonuses, but also changed their appearance (no excess foliage and in brightly colored paper clothes) and received a primer as a spellbook. Additionally, the hero had another special ability: if there were Treants in his army, the keykeepers wouldn't ask for the key. However, the hero was deemed unbalanced and didn't make it into the release...
-----------------------------------
Added after 8 minutes
http://img272.imageshack.us/img272/6161/10bo1.jpg
Added after 8 minutes
here are some more old jokes
--------------------------------------------------------------------
When Raelag was Agrael, he was very unhappy – he didn't like succubi, and he dreamed of getting to know elven girls better.
He went to Tiera with this request – and he helped as best he could.
But Raelag remained unhappy – he was never a fan of S&M.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Orange City - total OP!!!
Specialization: brings additional oranges to the treasury - one every 3 days. Oranges are not visible on the resource bar, however, only with 15 oranges and 20000 gold can you buy the *Hanging Gardens of Babylon* building... yes yes, don't be surprised, I was the first to find this easter egg in Heroes 5, bwa-ha-ha-ha! Orange Hanging Gardens of Babylon - total OP!!! If you get this city on a large map and manage to build up to them... there you can recruit... attention... the *BLIStyashchie* group! This is a level 8 unit, likely the strongest in the game. Non-upgraded are just *Blistyashchie*, and if you upgrade them (a few more oranges, I don't remember how many), then JEANNA FRISKE joins the Blistyashchie (!!) What's the result: With their attack *bananas, coconuts, orange paradise* (and when upgraded, Zhanna sings *la-la-la* along with them), they crush everything in their path... think about it, this unit is perfect! Tons of HP, an attack like *plywood* destroys everything...
also, the spellbook contains the spell *Summon Arash*... well, you know what a hot guy he is... not to mention the *super-blonde* and *MUZ-TV Award Strike* abilities...
------------------------------------------------------------------
Heroes of Ball and Magic at the World Cup.
The Knight sits calmly in his seat and prays for his favorite team's victory.
The Wizard casts a spell that should teleport the opposing team's goalkeeper off the field.
The Elf sneaks onto the field, camouflages himself as the grass, and invisibly trips the opposing footballers.
The Dark Elf watches indifferently as 22 idiots beat up a sphere for some reason.
The Demon patiently waits for the end of the match and the fan brawl. Today there will be plenty of meat...
The Necromancer doesn't care about football, he's watching the demon. Today a bunch of new skeletons will appear...
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Gargoyle - "go kill yourself against a wall" delivered
Rean's Ghost :smile24: