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Something like this happened to me last weekend. Around eleven in the evening, I brushed my teeth as usual, said my prayers, and went to bed. At first, I didn't notice anything unusual, but then, already lying in bed, I felt a strange smell. The first thing that came to mind was to close the window, as the smell could have been coming from outside. That didn't help; the smell only intensified. Then I started looking for its source. I checked everything from the hallway to the balcony, but I didn't find anything strange. And when I returned to the bedroom, I heard a quiet munching sound coming from under the bed. Alerted, I grabbed a menorah from the table and was ready for anything, peering under the bed. And to my horror! What I saw there! Two Bandera supporters – radical, fascist, extremist, terrorist – were eating lard! Right under my bed! I wasn't prepared for that! Realizing they had been discovered, they grabbed their Schmeisser submachine guns and pointed them at me. Crawling out from under the bed, they started waving the weapons at me and saying something in their language. Of course, I didn't understand anything, which made them angry, and they were about to start beating me, but then, unexpectedly, Putin burst into the room, disarmed and subdued them both with a few deft moves. That's how it was! You never know! Then, guys from the Crimean self-defense forces arrived in several armored personnel carriers. They took the damned enemies and drove them away to be executed. It turns out these Bandera supporters – radicals, fascists, extremists, terrorists – had been operating in my house for a long time. And how could I have been so inattentive? All the gas cylinders turned out to be empty, and there was no gas left even in the lighter. And all the history books had been completely rewritten! Seeing me sadly flipping through the rewritten book, Putin came up to me, put his hand on my shoulder, and said, "It's okay. I'll write new ones for you!" After these words, I shook his hand, thanked him sincerely for saving me, and we had a drink to world peace. That's the kind of interesting story it is. Be vigilant, comrades! By the way, the smell lingered for three days.