Posts from Love is both happiness and pain...

Here's what I have to say. Read Tsvetaeva's works. Specifically, her prose, not her lyrics. Especially "My Pushkin." It's about love. About love, but not the kind everyone experiences. I don't mean "strange" love, as in one of the topics here, but love that's different from what everyone else feels. And if you decide to read it, don't just read it once, but twice, three times, five times. And with breaks in between. I'm reading it for the fourth time. Each time, I find something new, something useful, and something that resonates with me, something about me. With your permission, here are a few quotes.

A bench. Tatiana is sitting on the bench. Then Onegin arrives, but he doesn't sit down; instead, she stands up. They both stand. And only he speaks, all the time, for a long time, while she doesn't say a word. And then I realize that the ginger cat, Augusta Ivanovna, the dolls – these are not love; this is love: when there's a bench, she's sitting on it, then he arrives, and he keeps talking, while she doesn't say a word.
(...)

My mother was wrong. I didn't fall in love with Onegin; I fell in love with Onegin and Tatiana (and maybe a little more with Tatiana), with them both together, with their love. And after that, I didn't write any of my works without simultaneously falling in love with two people (with her – a little more), not with them two, but with their love. With love.
The bench on which they didn't sit turned out to be decisive. Neither then, nor even a little bit, have I ever loved when they kissed; I always loved when they parted. Never when they sat down, always when they walked away. My first love scene was a non-love scene: he didn't love (I realized that), so he didn't sit down; she loved, so she stood up; they weren't together for a minute, they didn't do anything together; they did the opposite: he spoke, she was silent, he didn't love, she loved, he left, she stayed, so if you lift the curtain, she's standing alone, or maybe she's sitting again, because she only stood up because he stood up. And then she collapsed and will sit there forever. Tatiana sits on that bench forever.

And now, the most important thing.

This first love scene of mine determined all my subsequent ones, all the passion in me, the unhappy, unrequited, impossible love. From that moment on, I didn't want to be happy, and in doing so, I doomed myself to not-love.

And finally, the most terrible and painful thing. This phrase, which I read in one of the magazines, seems light and airy at first glance, but is actually heavy and frightening: "Today, we are concerned with blood, with virtual love."

Love is sometimes a painful happiness, and sometimes a happy pain....))))

What do you think, is love a feeling that is only possible in "real life," or is it boundless?

I believe it's the latter.
And love, for me, is... indescribable.

I'll tell you what it is. I don't remember which philosopher said it.

True love is like a ghost – no one has seen it, but everyone talks about it.

Judging by the quote, love is: Erst wird es heiss dann kalt am Ende tut es weh
Which translates to:
First it will be hot, then cold, and in the end, it will hurt…

And as my former colleague says: First it will hurt, then it will hurt, and in the end, it will be all the same…

That's how sad it is.

I didn't believe in love, but one HORRIBLE day, November 22, 2008, I saw her VKontakte profile (not an advertisement). Half an hour later, I was given her address, the intercom code, her home and mobile phone numbers, and so on. I met her, and that was it, I fell in love. For three months, I pursued her, scaring off anyone who approached her. I even had to go to her school (she's in 11th grade) and beat up half of her class. She left in tears. I won her over, everything was perfect, but she didn't like that I kept scaring away all the guys who flirted with her. She showed a noticeable indifference towards me. After I changed the nose of her old friend, whom I didn't know, she started avoiding me. Now she's dating someone else. And I've been like this for a month... well, my state can be described in a few words: ...and quietly, I'm going crazy...

Love is, in my opinion, a female name that isn't necessarily the most feminine, but rather the most unusual, gentle, and at the same time strong and firm, mysterious, enigmatic, and fateful! The Bible describes what love is. A long time ago, I read about it in a Soviet children's encyclopedia, and I liked it; I agree with what was written there. The main thing I remember is that love is the joy of giving and receiving without expecting anything in return. **General Zet**, personally, if I loved a girl, I would first try to be the best for her, not the strongest. I would, of course, fight for her, but I would also acknowledge the right of other people to do so. And I would definitely never even try to limit Her Choice! It's not a fact that the girl would be happiest with the one who beats up half of her class and others.

Still, there is more happiness than pain in love (and the pain is greatest when distance separates you). It is a feeling that inspires, awakens the best qualities in a person, and strengthens them. It helps you look at the world in a different light and see not only the bad but also the good. A wonderful and beautiful feeling. Even seeing that special person in a dream can make you feel happy, even if only for a short time. Peace, tranquility, love, harmony. It's like paradise, but without clouds and angels... although, there is still one angel present.

If you don't act like a miserable jerk, you'll be happy no matter what.

I will share some more thoughts on what Love is. I remembered a bit more about what I read in a Soviet children's encyclopedia and I agree with almost everything written there. Love is neither happiness nor pain. Love is joy for the loved one if they are doing well, and concern if something is wrong with them, a desire to help them, a desire for the loved one to be happy. True love is always joy, even if it is not reciprocated. Love cannot be unhappy simply because it is not reciprocated. It seems to me that it can only be unhappy because the loved one is not doing well…

However, I am sure that for the vast majority of people, unfortunately, there is a strong connection between love and pain. And now, in a rough first consideration, it seems to me that this is a linear relationship… and the coefficient of proportionality between them is egoism. PAIN = EGOISM * LOVE

Indeed, when someone claims that love is pain, it is interesting to know why they think so. What is the reason for the pain? Why are they hurting if their loved one is doing well and is happy with someone else? Why are they hurting, because they are happy, even if with someone else, and not with you???

The fact is that if even a tiny feeling, even just infatuation, arises, the person to whom this feeling arises begins to seem better than other people. And for some reason, many people (in most cases, just to show off!!!) believe that everything best (computer, car, apartment, mobile phone, not to mention the loved one) should be with them, and not with other people. And if they don't have it (it's with other people), and if the person is not altruistic (there is egoism), then the person experiences pain. And, unfortunately, they don't even care that their loved one may be happier with someone else than with them, and they don't care about the person they are with now. Some even develop hatred and a desire to do something bad to the person who is dating the girl/guy they love, despite how stupid this is, because it is the choice of these two people. If they want to be together, then it is their right, and they are not doing anything wrong to anyone. And the loved one will be hurt if something happens to the person they are with now, but they don't even care, and their E is very high, and B>>L, the desire to see the person in their "collection" and hatred for the person they are with now completely overshadows love!

Think about it, if someone starts telling you that they are in pain because of love and that they are suffering a lot because their beloved is not with them, but with someone else, won't this make you suspicious at a subconscious level? Personally, the first thing that comes to my mind is that they don't love very much, they just have an extremely high E, and therefore, when even a tiny semblance of a feeling arises, a HUGE PAIN immediately arises!..

But in general, if a person is not selfish, E=0 (for example, a Christian), then with any large and strong feeling, there will be absolutely no pain and anger at life and the person the loved one loves, but there will only be joy that they are happy. It is written in the Gospel of John: No one can love more than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. And those who experience pain because of love, in my opinion, do not want to give anything to anyone at all; in my opinion, they, on the contrary, want to get the person for themselves and own them… but what does love have to do with it??? In my opinion, it is right to assess one's feeling not by how much it hurts that you love him, but he does not love you, but by how much you are willing to give to him, without asking for anything in return. But if you don't want to give him, not even your own life, you don't want to give (acknowledge) his right to decide for himself who to be with, how can you love him??? Or maybe he is only needed for you to work for you, please you, show him off to your friends??? Huh???

Love is definitely not pain. Love is not necessarily happiness. I personally am not sure that I would be happy if my beloved girlfriend lived with me for the rest of her life, every day… But it is definitely joy that the loved one is doing well, or concern and sadness if something is wrong with them.

In general, knowing how much a person is hurting because of love, and knowing how much they love, you can assess how much of an egoist they are… which, in principle, everyone does at a subconscious level.

P. S. These are just my thoughts, I don't want to prove anything to anyone in particular.

Love is something that cannot be judged; everything can be different. It can be both painful and good. Everyone has their own opinion, and for each person, it is the right one.

I believe that love is mutual understanding between two people. When you give your loved one a simple bouquet of red roses, and she is as happy about such a simple gift as a little child.

A perfectly ordinary three-room apartment in Moscow.

Back then, the forum used to discuss truly important issues, but what about now?

In the UFO section, even more important questions arise...