Posts from Funny and amusing situations...

http://cs14111.vk.me/c7005/v7005449/af5a/0VNMcL6j8Tk.jpg
although, if I remember correctly, I think many of us have had even worse misclicks in our careers.

Today is also the birthday of good old Papik! Congratulations!

p.s. If anyone can give a link to his legendary report about the last game in the series with Vasya DC, I would be very grateful!;)

Template 2SM4d(2) - Winter season 2007 on heroes.by

Papik (blue, Stronghold, Tyraxor, Tyraxor) def DC_Vasya (red, Tower, Neela, Neela) 2SM4d(2) 2-1-1

I did it! It was a hard road, but I did it! So here goes: a week earlier I had already started thinking that something had to be done about Vasya. The score of 7-0 upset me, and the hopelessness with which I kept dumping game after game to Vasya was driving me mad. I started sleeping badly, lost my appetite, Mom said I had gone pale, and my wife began hinting at the first signs of approaching male old age. My head would not stop thinking about why I was losing to Vasya so badly. And I decided to try a comprehensive approach. First, I had to restore my mental balance. A deep study of my inner self showed that I was losing to Vasya because of my own stupidity and intimidation. To remove this flaw, I began getting up at 6 in the morning and doing relaxation exercises, belittling Vasya in my own eyes.
Without going into the details of what I thought about Vasya (I do not know whether he was hiccupping at the time or having bad dreams), I will say that results came quickly: I stopped being afraid of Vasya. But that was only half the job. I needed a fundamental decision that would raise my chances. The time of not giving a damn had come to an end, and sober calculation was needed. And Duke unexpectedly helped me with this, for which he has my huge human thanks. In one of our talks he said the phrase that decided the outcome of the matter: "Wolves! What freaking Orcs! Why the hell do they take the Orc specialist! Tyraxor with experience is just GOD. On the 1st move, damage 150-200, and they can reach anywhere right from move 1." I thought, yes, that is actually true. I believed even more after reading several reports by mega-fathers. And I was completely sure about Tyraxor after Dima's victory over Starik in the cup. And the plan for getting an acceptable draft for myself was born easily. I wanted to fight with Wolves against Tower, or at worst against Conflux - although the latter, with experience and dwellings, also burns. In general, knowing Vasya's dislike for Inferno and Necropolis, the draft plan was born simply and elegantly, and although Stinger did not believe Vasya would draft that way, I had no doubts. In passing, I warned Vasya in advance that we would play with experience again, and Vasya did not object at all, since we had started the series with experience and he had won all the games against me anyway. So, 9-20 in the morning. Saturday. We draft.
Me: Dungeon! (The exclamation mark here is not used as an exclamation, but as an indicator of a successful move, like in chess)
Vasya: Holy crap. ...Inferno (which was Vasya's 8th first draft choice in a row in our series)
Me: Kyr!
Vasya: Holy crap. Necropolis (which became his 8th second draft choice in a row)
Me: Castle!! - calculating that Vasya would decide not to give me Fortress, since I had done a little preparatory work a couple of days before, shouting: I will tear Fortress apart, I will tear with Fortress, I am training Fortress - to which Vasya, stroking me like a nervous patient, kept saying: well, easy, easy, I will not give it to you
Vasya: Fortress. (QED)
Me: Run!! (goal achieved), I sit waiting
Vasya creates and takes for himself... NEELA?? (what a strange decision against Tyraxor; probably tactics does not rule, Vasya thought, and Armorer decides everything anyway, to hell with Annie's money)
Well, ok. I am even happy with that choice.
9-30 First start. At first glance I have something decent. There is a small Conservatory in the bushes. I scout out and run into the main guard - Archangels. On the second road there is a pack of Sharpshooters; along the second road, already on the secondary zone's starting area, I run into a block: they are guarding some artifact. You can force your way through the Sharpshooters, behind them a Tree is visible, and a long road in the mountains. Although I see an exit into the treasury, there is not a single dwelling, no money; with a heavy heart, restart. Vasya looked over his start - did not see anything especially good, but Boots on the starting area.
Second start - from the start it looks normal. Then I see that it is very good. A Bird dwelling and Behemoth dwelling - though behind a pack of upgraded Vampires. 3 roads, a Conservatory, 2 Trees, and I already see a Utopia in the treasury. There is money. Vasya, with the words "I am taking a restart, I do not know why. Maybe I will regret it later," takes a restart. The reveal showed that Vasya already had 3 revealed Conservatories, 2 of them by the road nearby and one a little in the bushes in his home zone, and a Utopia by the road?! But Vasya explained that there was little ore, the passages were guarded by shooters and all that, he could end up without Nagas... All right.
3rd start. Vasya has a dead block - a horde of Monks does not let him out of the castle. hehe
4th start. Mine seems not bad - but on move 1, in battles with a maximum horde of Halflings, I move wrong, morale back and forth, and more than half the Wolves are gone - and nothing especially joyful had been found. All right, we will hope, I thought, and said restart. To which Vasya answered: well, that is it, doom has arrived.
So, 5th generation. We start. Vasya takes a long first move. I can see a Tree near the castle, guarded by a horde of Gargoyles. Nervously I ask everyone how many Gargoyles can guard a Tree. Opinions differ. From 50-100 to 50-900?!! Experts say probably 70. In short, when the turn was passed to me, I decided not to risk it, since there were no restarts left (and that was probably right; there were around 90 of them). I go around. On the very first day, with small but unpleasant losses of 3 Wolves, I break through Dwarves and Peasants guarding a Conservatory, find a +1000 experience pillar. I see an Orc dwelling and a University with 4 skills. I buy 2 heroes. I see a Prison by going around - a Tree has blocked the road, but it can be bypassed; the mountain takes a little more than one move to go around. The starting zone is corner and apparently large. Move 2. With the main hero I take the pillar - they offer Pathfinding, which after some thought I take: speed is good, I thought, and maybe I will have to crawl through snow or something else. At the University they offer a fairy tale: Earth, Wisdom, Tactics, and Luck. I want to buy Earth at once but cannot - money is at zero. One of the 3 heroes, a Cerberus specialist, learns expert Scouting at the pillar and runs upward past the castle, where right behind the mountains he immediately reveals Ogre and Cyclops dwellings - though how long it takes to ride there, and what kind of passage there is and from which side, is completely unclear. I cannot reveal anything else useful - there is almost nobody even to fight - so the main goes down toward the roads. Scouting quickly shows that the main guard is almost right under my nose: a horde of Minotaurs, and on the side of the road a pack of Efreet Sultans. Hm, I thought. Well, all right. A Prison is found on the road. I take it. With the hero from the Prison I advance farther along the road. After some thought I decide to return with the main, take Earth, then level up at the second discovered pillar, taking the Orcs from the dwelling. That is what I do. They offered Logistics - I could not refuse. Meanwhile it turns out there are only 2 roads - to the secondary zone and to the opponent. No money in sight. Everything else is still good. I ride along the road with side heroes - good thing the roads are the fastest. I run into a passage - a horde of Halflings. I fight. Small losses, but nothing to be done. I crash into the underground. I fight the secondary Dungeon there. In another turn, a Conservatory, a little money, a gold mine and... a Utopia! are revealed around the observatories, with a Ring of Speed in front of it, all behind a horde of Griffins. And before that, going around the mountains, another Conservatory is revealed. Well, that is fine, I thought. One problem - there is no damn money. On day 4 I built a Marketplace, and even that after borrowing 200 coins. And so until the end of the week I kept borrowing a few coins at a time, which resulted in 1-6 with a Citadel. On the last moves the chain reached the Ogre dwelling. The starting zone turned out to be like a ring around a big chain of mountains. 4 days of travel on one side and 4 days of travel on the other side to go around the mountains. Not far from the dwellings another Prison was found, which made me very happy, since there was no money for heroes and none expected. Also near there was a Library. I see that there are tons of prospects but very little money and nowhere to get it. Everything the scout found was collected and eaten and went into construction. The main hero kept running near home until the end of the week, killing a couple of small stacks and ending up with 2 Orcs. From the starting forces, 25 Wolves and 4 Ogres from the dwelling remained at the Ogre dwelling. Oh! Another useful thing was found near the main guard: a mana doubler. The main doubled himself - 40 mana, rode around the stat boosters, total as much as 6.1.3.2 on 121, sitting behind the house on the last tile. Meanwhile, with help from the guy from the Prison, from behind the mountains, 8 Ogres and 25 Wolves returned on 122. Buying more Wolves, total: 8 Ogres, 6 Orcs, 40 Wolves. I fight the Tree guard - it was really getting in the way of moving - 95 Gargoyles, they killed 2 Wolves. I ride the main toward the secondary zone. 123 I fight a minimum Dwarven Treasury near the Dungeon. Little by little I bring troops. 124 I stand on the Conservatory - minimum - I fight. I think whether to buy out home immediately or roam a bit more, since Earth is not getting leveled at all; I roam. I could not refuse Armorer. I take the gold mine - reveal with an observatory - see a treasury through a long road, near the treasury a Wyvern dwelling. Also on the road to it, not far away, a +3+3 Shield behind lots of Arch Magi. I decide to take the main guard, finally level Earth, and only then buy out. According to the plan, on week 3 take the Utopia in the secondary zone, then immediately tear toward the Utopia in the treasury. Taking into account Conservatories and Trees - I see 2 - and somehow I never took the Tree near home by the end of the game; since it showed lots without Angels, I did not want to, and then somehow I forgot about it. In general, with an Angel I climb into the treasury, bring forces, fight the little Shield without losses, and go home. Earth got leveled. 131 I am home. 132 I am in the Conservatory, having bought everything to the max and borrowed a bit up to my ears. Maximum. Took it without losses. And since there is no possibility to develop anymore - no money - I go on foot; with side heroes I fight everything I had not finished earlier, while with the main I go to double mana and rush to the Library, building a chain with side heroes to the last Conservatory and the nearby Dwarven Treasury - the one I did not take on week 2. I fight the Library, since I already have level 10, and go from it to the Utopia. With side heroes I took a minimum Conservatory, but in return got a max Dwarven Treasury. And I also beat a Medusa Stores. Got 9k. Bought exactly what was needed for the Utopia - gave another thousand and borrowed 4500, bought more. On 136 I am standing next to it, and I see Vasya moving near the second one!!! I am shocked. Do not touch it, I think. Do not. I want it. I sincerely hope Vasya will not take it on week 3, because he has a heap of Genies with him. Neela's stats are nothing. And in general I sincerely hope Vasya had a wild mess, since few heroes were running, on week 1 he did not find the secondary zone at once, and for a long time he had as many as my one... 136 I fight the Utopia - minimum, hmmm. But... Hat of 5x + assorted junk. The stats did not change, but a chance appeared to steal the Utopia on 137. But I miscalculated mana and am short 3 for the 2nd DD. I bite my elbows, thinking Vasya will fight the Utopia on 141. I do not need to accelerate - expert speed. And Logistics got leveled to expert. I rush toward the Utopia. Vasya sees my movements - and, oh miracle, runs away. And on my last tiles - I could not even bring the week 4 growth - I climb in anyway on 141 - size 3. Vasya curses in ICQ. I fight without problems - the Wolves are whole, the sheep are fed, the Birds are dead, and to hell with them. Book of Water, Shackles, Sword +5 all, and the orb against resistance, good! I think about the fact that I had eaten all the control spells. I do not equip the Shackles. No mana - I walk back on foot, on 143 I join up and send the troops home, while with the main I break and jump home. On 144, to the mana doubler and straight to the main guard. Everything I managed to bring and upgrade: 90 Wolves, 6 Angels, 15 Cyclopes, 40 Ogres, 60 Orcs, 6 Birds, 70 Goblins. I fight Efreet and Minotaurs without losses - I need experience - and ride through Vasya's territory. Everything is leveled a bit. The stats are small, 23-14-10-10, but Vasya shows no increase in stats, and judging by money things are not too cheerful either. And in general, on week 3 Vasya was seen in the swamp with a pack of Mighty Gorgons at a side town - !;% - so I was afraid the Utopia would now be rushed; clearly a dwelling, and he had built up in the swamp. In short, after that it is simple. Having jumped around the territory, I wandered into the secondary zone in the underground, took it, looked around - saw that 2 treasuries were not broken through. One had been cleaned, so Vasya could only hit one near my Dungeon. I calculate that with Logistics and DD I can jump to the main on 147, but I miscalculate - the roads turned out mega-long - I only reach on 211. Vasya is home. Forces are okay. I could not bring my growth. I had little time left to play, I had to leave soon, Vasya's stats presumably had not grown, everything was leveled fairly well, there are Implosions, expert Armorer and Offense. Ah, to hell with it, I attack. Neela 11.7.6.70, Tyraxor 24.17.10.80. Neela's forces were as before: 360 Gremlins, 7 Giants, 60 Iron Golems, 4 Genies - although she had driven past a dwelling - 14 Naga Queens, 17 Magi. No Mighty Gorgons visible even in the slightest. Well, good. I think and move everything forward. Mass Slow on the opponent. With Angels I immediately hit the Gremlins -100. Morale and Luck, another 140 or something like that. In short, a little over a hundred remain. My Cyclopes move - bang, miss the gate. Morale! the gate is broken - Vasya swears in response. Mass Slow on me. Nagas hit the Angels. More shooting at the Angels. Round 2, my turn first, Haste on 90 Wolves - Nagas died, and I understood it was GG. After that it was simple: for several rounds I kicked everything to death.
WIN VICTORY HURRAY. THANKS EVERYONE.
Special thanks: Duke. Stinger. Forrest.
The reveal of Vasya's starting zone showed that he had the longest roads to secondary zones, a large but rather empty starting zone - with Genie and Gremlin dwellings. And there seemed to be 2 Utopias on the map. In the swamp secondary with a Castle! sat unbought 16 Mighty Gorgons and everything else up to Wyverns. And a side hero had another 23 level-4 Mighty Gorgons! Why Vasya did not upgrade and buy them - well, apparently there was no money. In short, the size-3 Utopia definitely decided it - money crippled Vasya.
Thanks for the game, Vasya, 7-1
P.S. Sorry I did not make you a birthday present

PSS I cannot resist adding this

So, I was actually playing at a friend's place, since my own native little computer has not worked for 3 months already after a conversation with my almost 2-year-old son. Well, never mind. For the second week in a row I invited myself over to play at my good buddy's place, who is also a brother-in-arms and former classmate. Zhenya, nicknamed Load, which he got for his Estonian manner of expressing his thoughts and speaking calmly and a bit drawn out, which people simply call LOADING. In general this does not affect his human qualities; he is a very sociable guy, and if you want to visit someone, Zhenya is a fail-safe option. Having invited myself to his place for the second week in a row (luckily Zhenya was on the night shift, he had slept well and met me in his underwear with shouts of "ah, here is our hero"), I settled comfortably at the computer, after some time did the above-described draft and played the first week... but this is where my troubles only began. Around 12-15, that is somewhere on 123, Zhenya's phone rang, and after talking with someone for a bit, Zhenya came into the room with a grin from ear to ear and joyfully announced that my wife was about to come with her friend Katya. I turned white, swore hard, and understood it was GG. As soon as my wife arrives, I decided, she will utter the catchphrase she had already uttered 7 games in a row - looking at the monitor with a smart face, she usually says, "No, Egorushka, you will not win today." But I suppressed the panic attack within myself and, bravely taking the mouse, continued playing. 12-30 Doorbell. I hear familiar voices. Wife enters the room - comes in to greet me. As calmly as possible I say to her, hi dear, I am playing a little, please do not disturb me. Katya comes in - hi Egor. - Well hi, Egor -
Wife - He is offline. Useless. He is playing
They sit down on the sofa. They start discussing shopping. They ask Zhenya to bring tea. And I ask Zhenya: Please remove them. Zhenya showed mega-tact: Girls, let us not disturb him. Let him play. Come on, let us drink tea in the kitchen and eat dumplings. The people left laughing. Then Zhenya's mom got involved, and I had 2 calm hours to play. At the same time I nervously ate the dumplings Zhenya kindly brought, but constantly felt discomfort - I sensed they would come for me. And so they did. At 3-50, the people, having eaten, laughed, and so on, came into the room with the goal of discussing me in full. And also trying to Seduce/Poison/Cloud my mind - kissing, hugging, caressing, giving me salty tea, and pouring vodka into it. But I was not afraid of that. I was afraid of the catchphrase. And disaster came, but as usual from other lips - Katya! "Egor, you will not win today," she said. At that point I got a little upset and honestly said that I was playing for 200 bucks and all of you go to hell. The girls quieted down a bit and tried not to touch me until the end of the game. True, their attention shifted to Zhenya, which he, however, was very happy about.
But a surprise awaited them when I won. This happened right at the moment when Zhenya and I needed to leave for work. We successfully went out together, having first received gloomy congratulations from Vasya. And then I burst. I kissed them. I hugged them too. I shouted how much I loved them - all together, that I have friends, wife. Poor girls and Zhenya recoiled from me. But I was almost insane. The sweet taste of victory swept over me, and this euphoria lasted another 2 hours. Periodically I shouted "Let us go to the Metropol" "Bring vodka" "We will dance until morning" and so on. I calmed down only after a 2-hour walk through frosty Mariupol. After that we drank some tea in a cafe, and at 22-00 I safely and calmly fell asleep in my little bed. Thank you all.

...And here's that old bug again. In the picture, Luna displays the secondary skill Luck, but the caption says it's Ballistics. And in reality, it's Intelligence :D
...

I'll write this down before I forget.

I had a dream where I'm going with my main towards the opponent, and along the way I see a stack of 100+ ducks. I attack, the ducks run away, each stack fleeing in a different direction. Then the opponent's scout heroes run out and start casting fire walls and throwing arrows at the Wyvern, stealing my XP. I was shocked.

I’ll write this before I forget.

I had a dream where I’m walking my main towards the opponent, and on the way I see a stack of 100+ ducks. I attack, the ducks run away, each stack fleeing in a different direction. Then the opponent’s scout heroes run out and start casting fire walls and throwing arrows at the Wyvern, stealing my XP. I was shocked.

Let me write this down before I forget.

I had a dream where I'm walking my main towards the opponent, and on the way I see a block of 100+ ducks. I attack, the ducks run away, each stack fleeing in its own direction. Then the opponent's scout heroes run out and start placing fire walls and throwing arrows at the Wyvern, stealing my XP. I was shocked.