Posts from Rotterdam Forest Spider (Morning) Auto-translated

--Well, maybe, but I haven't had time to confirm that yet. And my story is long; I don't think it would interest you. In short, it's a matter of honor.

- Oh, come on, I would gladly listen to your story if it's not too much trouble.

"Well, then, let's go somewhere," said the halfling, jingling his coins. "We have enough money to rent a cheap room and get some food; my supply of rye cakes has long since run out." He winked. "Loosen up your legs; otherwise, you won't be able to move."

- Ah, this. I'm not getting any younger, it happens, - the part of his face where the veins were still intact turned red, and Rotterdam shuffled his feet. - Well, let's go for a walk. We'll warm up inside and tell some old stories. And I, if you like, can tell you about the city.
"There's an opinion that halflings are thieving and ready to grab everything they can, as soon as an honest person turns away. I have nothing to steal except my life, ha-ha. And yet, I feel like I've seen him somewhere before. We'll talk, and I'll get some information out of him. It's better than wandering around and risking running into old acquaintances lurking in the streets."

The halfling went to the dilapidated tavern. It was already empty: apparently, it was too decent to allow drunken revelers inside, which was reflected in its incredible poverty. The hobbit approached the bartender and paid for a room with two beds. He also bought a loaf of rye bread and two oranges. Gathering his belongings, he went upstairs, opened the room with a key, and invited Rotterdam in. "Ah, yes, how clumsy of me! You probably want to clean your feathers first. It seems that this tavern has running water, a special room, and a basin for washing. Or are you eager to hear me out?"

- You are very kind, and your hint is clear to me. Alright, I will take the appropriate measures.
"He didn't even mention money. He's just paying for a homeless person off the street? What? If I were in his shoes, I wouldn't even spit on myself, let alone pay someone. Who is he? What does he want? Maybe he wants to set me up? Harvest my kidney? Well, he chose the wrong candidate for that, ha-ha. And what's in his bag?"
Leaving the room, he closed the door but hesitated before entering the special room. Looking around and watching the corridor, he quietly hid near the door, listening and peering through the crack. Having grown up in a brothel, he was no stranger to this.

The halfling first took a clean handkerchief out of his bag and placed it on Rotterdam's bed (presumably it was his bed, because he had sat down on the other one a little earlier). He broke the bread in half and placed it on the handkerchief, and then put an orange on top. He was about to put the remaining half of the loaf in his mouth, but then he changed his mind, although it was clear that this decision was difficult for him. Instead, he placed another handkerchief on his own bed, and then put the bread and orange on top. He looked out the window, thought about something, lay down on the bed with his eyes open, looking at the ceiling. His actions ended there.

"Why did he do that? Is he going to poison the bread? Or maybe the innkeeper is an old acquaintance of his? And all of this was planned in advance? I don't know... I don't know. Never mind, mister... he didn't even tell me his name. Never mind, mister, I'll be on the lookout."
Rotterdam visited a special room, performed all the necessary procedures, although he still had to put his dirty clothes back on, which caused him some annoyance.
"That's why I don't really like to wash."
After that, he returned to his room.
"Here I am! I see you've already settled in, sir...? Excuse me, I forgot your name."

"That's because I didn't introduce myself," the halfling said, rising. "My name is Flame Fox, nice to meet you. And this is your modest portion of dinner," he gestured towards Rotterdam's bed.

- Fl!.. - Rotterdam almost shouted across the room, pointing his finger at the half-orc, but he lowered his voice in time. - Flame Fox! Now I remember where I might have seen you, on a poster, of course! You're a thief and robber, wanted in five countries! There's a reward of a hundred gold for your head!
He paused for a few moments and narrowed his eyes.
- And you openly play in the square, where a lot of people walk, and then share food with a stranger who, moreover, didn't introduce himself.
He sat down on a chair next to the bed, resting his arms on the back.
"He doesn't look like a hardened criminal, but they can be very deceptive in appearance."
- Why? As for my name: Rotterdam Forest Spider, although it probably doesn't mean anything to you. However, it's nice to meet you, celebrity.

"Pleased to meet you. Yes, what I did there might seem foolish," Flame Fox joined the conversation. "But you see, I really needed the money. Besides, I noticed that as soon as I take off my top hat and cloak, people stop recognizing me. So I decided to take a risk," the hobbit took a piece of bread and took a bite, deciding that now was the time. "Sharing with a stranger? Well, what's so bad about that? First, you don't look like just any ordinary vagrant. Second, I'm in the same situation as you. It's just that you've been unlucky lately, while I've been lucky, but you can't be blamed for that, can you?
“It seems you wanted to hear my story? Here it is. I had a happy childhood, anyone would envy me. And a happy youth. I've also experienced a happy adulthood, and what's more, it continues to this day, and I sincerely believe that I will live to see a happy old age. So why am I here, without a home, without a family, without friends? Well, I just had a bit of bad luck at the very beginning of my life. In fact, luck treats me very strangely, sometimes it's kind, sometimes it pushes me away... I was still a teenager, preparing to settle down, get married, and spend my life in my own home, occasionally visiting the house next door to borrow some sugar. Two days before the wedding, the king passed through our village, our glorious king, and can you imagine? He was robbed. Someone sneaked into the carriage, avoiding the guards, almost killed the king (he was seriously injured and survived only thanks to surgery), and robbed him of everything. How he got out of the carriage, the guards don't know either. An investigation began, it reached our village, everyone was checked, and it turned out that I was the only one without an alibi. None at all! I hope I don't need to explain what all this led to.

- I wouldn't want to disappoint you, but I can assure you, Fox, that there's nothing extraordinary about me, - Rotterdam said with a sad smile. - And as for luck, I'd say that "lately" has been going on for a very long time.
He broke off a small piece of bread, put it in his mouth, and felt a terrible pity for himself. It had been a very long time since anything other than alcohol, rats, and pigeons had been in his diet, as well as the occasional scraps he managed to snatch in some eateries, where the cooks just shoved food at him so he would leave their doorstep.
It's amazing that he hasn't lost his teeth yet, although some are noticeably loose, and some have already rotted.
- You're telling truly terrible things. And since then, you've been on the run, and they're looking for you in five countries for this? Surely there wasn't anyone who would stand up for you? A bride, family, friends? I can't help but note that you have a rather peculiar view of luck.

"I think I would have been acquitted if I had been brought before the king, because you're right, in my village, they didn't really believe I was guilty. But the king wasn't in a state to judge anyone, and instead, his right-hand man took over my case. His name was Skandrel. He didn't waste much time; I spoke in court for only six seconds (time moves slowly in such moments, so I know for sure it was exactly six seconds), and the verdict was delivered: 'Hanging.' That's it. And they led me to the gallows, bound with tight ropes," Flame's voice faltered. Then he spoke more cheerfully. "But the executioner had some personal problems, and he didn't take off my outer clothing, so when they removed the plank from under me, I didn't hang by my neck, but by a button. Well, I hung there for a bit, watching the strange looks on their faces. Then I started swinging harder, like on a children's swing, the button came off, and I found myself riding a horse. Admittedly, backward, but that was enough for the mare to bolt, breaking the nail to which her bridle was attached. The guards didn't immediately realize what had happened, but they did eventually and gave chase; there were two of them, and they were armed. Seeing that they were catching up, I randomly threw off my boots and trousers, and wouldn't you know it! The one I hit with the boots fell immediately. The other one first cut my trousers with his saber and threw them away, but then he realized that he had also thrown away the saber that was stuck in them. He bent down to pick it up and fell into the mud, and with one foot still in the stirrup, the horse slowly dragged him along the ground away from the saber. There was no question of continuing the chase." "After that, I was caught seven more times in different countries (and how many times I escaped!). Well, the reason is simple: once you've escaped, you're guilty, and the fact that I wouldn't be able to prove my innocence or anything else to anyone didn't bother them. Moreover, they started blaming me for all sorts of crimes just because I happened to be nearby when they were committed. And despite all this, you can easily see that I'm still alive. Isn't that luck?"

- I... I don't know what to say. It sounds like a fairy tale told by mothers to their children at night. And what are you planning to do now?

– The thing is, I grew very fond of that mare, Yablochko. You know, I started to feel like she understood me, just like a person. But I lost her when they caught me last time. I hope that some new, unusual set of circumstances will help me get her back. And then I need to have a talk with Skandrel. I'm sure he's the would-be murderer.