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Okay. I agree.
ФЛУДОВСКИЕ ССЫЛКИ - конец бесполезным темам
Alex Ghost
Posts from Magnus’s RPG empire on the portal.
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Alex Ghost
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Don't lie. My intuition has never failed me. Okay, 23. Is it working?
The altar is free. I'm performing the ritual. All 4 are activated, +1 to defense, +1 to level. Suddenly, a blinding flash appeared on the mainland. We need to get to the palace urgently. I run towards Jack. There he is. Ah, you lich. I shoot an ice arrow at him -1 lich. I caught up with Jack. Now, where to? I asked.
Magnus
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The task is done, but we are surrounded by enemies... we are fighting our way to the ship, where they are waiting for us... but there is no way through... so even those who remained on the ship have joined the battle... now we are on the ship, but there are still hordes of necromancers with us... we are barely managing to sail away... the battle is still raging on the island, stones are flying... launched from ballistae, which are hitting the ship... the ship is clear now... but will it be able to reach its destination?
Night
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Stay in Prison. Day II.
Waking up to the screeching of wooden hens and the clashing of weapons, the first thing Wu-Jin did was go to the latrine. The latrine was already different from the one they had in their cell yesterday. Wu-Jin: Ha, what the hell is this?, - tilting his head to the side, - how much Yin-Crap and Nirvana do you have to take to sit on this toilet?
Jean Maré, frying eggs on the remains of an indestructible book "Hero Timurius and his party": Oh, yesterday, while high, they started arguing over who could crap the most.
Wu-Jin: And who was it?
Jean Maré casts a resentful glance at Kosopest, who is lying next to the toilet wrapped in bear skins with a hat from the time of William the Conqueror: The Viking, - he spits tastily out the window, so that his phlegm hits a ballista bolt and stops it, - yesterday he crapped half our office, the Mediterranean scoundrel...
Wu-Jin puts the toilet back in place, looks inside it and sees a Devil.
Devil (in a cunning voice): Let me out and I'll give you a ruble.
Wu-Jin: Heh, this grandpa is quite a lad. What are you doing here?
Devil: Well, it was so fun here that I decided to drop by for a visit.
Wu-Jin: Was there any other entrance besides the privy?, - the monk pulls the devil out of the toilet.
Devil: Thanks, dear friend, - looks at Kosopest, - and who is this?
Wu-Jin: The fair-haired superman-viking, called Kosopest...
The Devil twitches his tail in thought.
Devil: And I saw a demon with a trendy haircut on the bridge near a mop and an axe. And his plan is just f*cking awesome.
Wu-Jin: That's exactly why it's f*cking awesome; we smoked so much of it yesterday that we were turning toilets upside down and sh*tting down our collars.
The Devil twitches his tail and sniffs the plan: Look how it smells. Aeaeaeae...
Wu-Jin: Nah, screw smoking that stuff, you can't get an erection from it.
Everyone, including the sleeping Kosopest, is stunned by the information heard.
The Devil stands there digesting Wu-Jin's information, twitching his tail.
Kosopest, waking up from the blow of the tail: WHERE ARE MY EGGS?!
Jean Maré (in a soothing voice): Calm down, Omelyanchik, calm down. The eggs are almost ready.
The Viking, with a smile on his small face, dives back into the world of sleep.
Devil: Let's go save that drunkard lying on the bridge. We'll need him; a horn for a cut-off, - the devil saws off a horn and gives it to Wu-Jin, - this is the guarantee.
Artifact Devil's Horn:
Fireball once a day.
Jean Maré, stuffing the eggs into his pocket: I'm with you, because I'm tired of frying these eggs.
Wu-Jin: What are they made of?
Jean Maré: Well, yesterday you boys imagined a rhinoceros. So I made eggs out of its separate parts.
Artifact Rhinoceros Eggs
Plague once a day[/B]
Wu-Jin, the devil, and Jean Maré jump out the window.
Devastation everywhere, drunken faces, and dark-orange flags.
The Devil, spitting in such a way that his phlegm knocks over a small squad of fifty paladins: F*cking revolutionaries...
Everyone runs to the bridge. An arrow hits Jean Maré.
Jean Maré (in a mocking voice): IDDQD (:)).
The arrow bounces back at the shooter. He falls dead.
Then a picture unfolds before the heroes: some scrawny lad in plate armor, just over two meters tall and about a meter and a half wide, has beaten up a formidable peasant who is a meter tall in his cap and as scrawny as a dog in a manure desert. He shouted "Hooray, in the name of Isabelle" and everyone carried him in their arms like a hero.
Jean Maré, spitting again and hitting someone's fireball, which goes out upon contact with Jean's phlegm: Now that's a national hero.
Devil: As is known, heroes don't have sex and don't go to the bathroom for number two, not to mention that none of them spent their childhood playing with their own hand...
Wu-Jin, approaching the demon on the bridge: Man, how are you?
Demon: On that field grows a blue flower - a favorite pastime of homosexuals... They should be hit with a sickle on the...
Devil: Our kind of guy, clearly.
Suddenly, the demon is grabbed and thrown onto a bonfire, drenched in holy water. The demon twitches and tries to jump out of the tight grip of the captors.
The convicts come to the Demon's defense. Jean Maré takes the eggs out of his pocket and throws them at the peasants. They turn into stupid zombies. Wu-Jin twists everyone's arms behind their heads in the style of Chinese action movies. The Devil hits everyone with his tail and breathes fire. Everyone is in a panic, the demon is stunned.
The convicts free the demon.
Devil: Who are you? And where were you going? Come sit in the cell with us!
Wu-Jin: No need for the cell. We're already short on macaroni.
Jean Maré: A demon is the kind of creature that will find not only macaroni, but also wine and eggplants, and will share!
The Devil twitches his tail...
Wu-Jin: Let's go to the cell, it's cozier there...
Magnus
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So, here you are in a cell. You've been transferred to another one. You're chained up so you can't escape. And the floor is covered in spikes. The walls have spikes, and there's an electric field on the ceiling. So, what are you going to do?
Tengro
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Hmm... Nothing is happening... (Magnus, there's a logical flaw in my understanding – WHICH REPEAT OFFENDERS? And why didn't you let me talk to them? I understand if it were a patrol, but 25 Archangels in an OPEN FIELD? It's an outrage, comrades!)
Okay... handcuffs... iron ones? They got what they deserved (they shouldn't have left me with a knife, and throwing katanas in the corner... I'm sorry about the cloak – it cost money...). I twist my hands, take out the knife, and QUIETLY, very quietly, with all possible caution, I start sawing through the handcuffs...
Okay... handcuffs... iron ones? They got what they deserved (they shouldn't have left me with a knife, and throwing katanas in the corner... I'm sorry about the cloak – it cost money...). I twist my hands, take out the knife, and QUIETLY, very quietly, with all possible caution, I start sawing through the handcuffs...
"Мы не герои. Мы сильны. Мы упрямы. Мы стараемся соблюдать условия контракта. Но мы не умираем за проигравших." Костоправ
"Мы не поклонники честной игры, если ее можно избежать. Девиз Отряда – максимальная эффективность при минимальном риске." Костоправ
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Perhaps, but we need to ask the Druids to send an envoy to the mainland. And if anything happens, the Archangels will transport us. Probably.
Magnus
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Hmm... Nothing is happening... (Magnus, there's a logical error in my understanding – WHICH REPEAT OFFENDERS? And why didn't you let me talk to them? (I understand if it were a patrol, but 25 Archangels in a CLEAR FIELD? Outrageous, comrades!))
So... handcuffs... iron ones? They got what they deserved (they shouldn't have left a knife for me, and throwing katanas in the corner... I'm sorry about the cloak – it cost money...) Twisting my hands, I take out the knife and QUIETLY, very carefully, I start sawing through the handcuffs...
Tengro, you are repeat offenders because you deceived the priest and stole an imp.
Tengro, I didn't let you talk to the guards out of anger because you kept roleplaying other characters. For example, a dialogue with the priest. I would like to roleplay the priest myself.
Suddenly, you fall to the floor because the handcuffs are old and rusty. So, what will we do? The floor is silver.
Magnus
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Yes... perhaps... we need air support... and we still need to row past at least 3 more posts... so everyone started rowing... someone started pumping water out of the hold...
Tengro
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(Okay, I get it. BUT YOU DIDN'T MENTION THAT THIS ROOM ALSO HAS A SILVER FLOOR! By the way... am I supposed to get a level up for completing the Lich's quest?)
Brrr... Is the jacket okay? Damn, no gloves... Never mind, I'll figure something out – I won't touch the silver... I carefully approach the katanas, pick them up, and walk to the door. Hmm... I'm not used to breaking magical locks... And an Elven Pradub door – you can't break that even with a focused "Earth Shock"... There are no windows.*looks up* Oh! An exit! But... why is it shimmering? And how am I going to get up there?*thinking: "Shimmering means a portal or an energy field. Knowing the treachery of the Emperor's lackeys, I should expect a field..."*
Brrr... Is the jacket okay? Damn, no gloves... Never mind, I'll figure something out – I won't touch the silver... I carefully approach the katanas, pick them up, and walk to the door. Hmm... I'm not used to breaking magical locks... And an Elven Pradub door – you can't break that even with a focused "Earth Shock"... There are no windows.*looks up* Oh! An exit! But... why is it shimmering? And how am I going to get up there?*thinking: "Shimmering means a portal or an energy field. Knowing the treachery of the Emperor's lackeys, I should expect a field..."*
"Мы не герои. Мы сильны. Мы упрямы. Мы стараемся соблюдать условия контракта. Но мы не умираем за проигравших." Костоправ
"Мы не поклонники честной игры, если ее можно избежать. Девиз Отряда – максимальная эффективность при минимальном риске." Костоправ
Magnus
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(Okay, I accept. BUT YOU DIDN'T MENTION THAT THE FLOOR IN THIS ROOM IS MADE OF SILVER! By the way... am I supposed to get a level up for completing the Lich's quest?)
Brrr... Is the jacket still intact? Damn, no gloves... Never mind, I'll figure something out – I won't touch the silver... I carefully approach the katanas, pick them up, and walk towards the door. Hmm... I'm not used to breaking magical locks... And an Elven Oak door – you can't break that easily, even with a directed "Earth Shock"... There are no windows.*I look up* Oh! An exit! But... why is it shimmering? And how am I going to get up there?*I think: "Shimmering means it's a portal or an energy field. Knowing the Imperial lackeys' treachery, I should expect a field..."*
Tengro
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As-sха, Most Merciful!
STOP!
If these were Imperials, they would have simply opened the door... ARE THEY OURS? But what if not? What if there was a revolt of mages due to the increased torture of the undead? And rebels are breaking down the door, trying to kill me? This is worrying...
I position myself to the left of the doors (WITHOUT TOUCHING ANYTHING), draw my blades, extend my fangs, and recall the Poison formula... Suddenly, the door finally breaks open...
STOP!
If these were Imperials, they would have simply opened the door... ARE THEY OURS? But what if not? What if there was a revolt of mages due to the increased torture of the undead? And rebels are breaking down the door, trying to kill me? This is worrying...
I position myself to the left of the doors (WITHOUT TOUCHING ANYTHING), draw my blades, extend my fangs, and recall the Poison formula... Suddenly, the door finally breaks open...
"Мы не герои. Мы сильны. Мы упрямы. Мы стараемся соблюдать условия контракта. Но мы не умираем за проигравших." Костоправ
"Мы не поклонники честной игры, если ее можно избежать. Девиз Отряда – максимальная эффективность при минимальном риске." Костоправ
Predvestnik
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Approaching the imperial palace (I changed the carriage's course for -10 silver), I showed the pass to the guards...
Entering through the door, I knelt and reported...The Herald has returned with news for Magnus...during the completion of the assignment, I had to kill a man...Therefore, I request a promotion (level up) and a monetary reward!
Entering through the door, I knelt and reported...The Herald has returned with news for Magnus...during the completion of the assignment, I had to kill a man...Therefore, I request a promotion (level up) and a monetary reward!
Предвестник Смерти
ТЕМНАЯ ИКВИЗИЦИЯ - Это единственный способ очистить Землю прислужников Света
She is dead... I crushed her head.
Тьма уже поглотила мое сердце...:smile24:
ТЕМНАЯ ИКВИЗИЦИЯ - Это единственный способ очистить Землю прислужников Света
She is dead... I crushed her head.
Тьма уже поглотила мое сердце...:smile24:
Nowizard
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So, they let me through... and now what? I guess I should head to the castle, which is what I did.
Бог есть любовь
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Well, maybe it will work. Jack might try to cast an ice arrow, and maybe the water will freeze in the hold?