Night
Auto-translated
Stay in Prison. Day II.
Waking up to the screeching of wooden hens and the clashing of weapons, the first thing Wu-Jin did was go to the latrine. The latrine was already different from the one they had in their cell yesterday. Wu-Jin: Ha, what the hell is this?, - tilting his head to the side, - how much Yin-Crap and Nirvana do you have to take to sit on this toilet?
Jean Maré, frying eggs on the remains of an indestructible book "Hero Timurius and his party": Oh, yesterday, while high, they started arguing over who could crap the most.
Wu-Jin: And who was it?
Jean Maré casts a resentful glance at Kosopest, who is lying next to the toilet wrapped in bear skins with a hat from the time of William the Conqueror: The Viking, - he spits tastily out the window, so that his phlegm hits a ballista bolt and stops it, - yesterday he crapped half our office, the Mediterranean scoundrel...
Wu-Jin puts the toilet back in place, looks inside it and sees a Devil.
Devil (in a cunning voice): Let me out and I'll give you a ruble.
Wu-Jin: Heh, this grandpa is quite a lad. What are you doing here?
Devil: Well, it was so fun here that I decided to drop by for a visit.
Wu-Jin: Was there any other entrance besides the privy?, - the monk pulls the devil out of the toilet.
Devil: Thanks, dear friend, - looks at Kosopest, - and who is this?
Wu-Jin: The fair-haired superman-viking, called Kosopest...
The Devil twitches his tail in thought.
Devil: And I saw a demon with a trendy haircut on the bridge near a mop and an axe. And his plan is just f*cking awesome.
Wu-Jin: That's exactly why it's f*cking awesome; we smoked so much of it yesterday that we were turning toilets upside down and sh*tting down our collars.
The Devil twitches his tail and sniffs the plan: Look how it smells. Aeaeaeae...
Wu-Jin: Nah, screw smoking that stuff, you can't get an erection from it.
Everyone, including the sleeping Kosopest, is stunned by the information heard.
The Devil stands there digesting Wu-Jin's information, twitching his tail.
Kosopest, waking up from the blow of the tail: WHERE ARE MY EGGS?!
Jean Maré (in a soothing voice): Calm down, Omelyanchik, calm down. The eggs are almost ready.
The Viking, with a smile on his small face, dives back into the world of sleep.
Devil: Let's go save that drunkard lying on the bridge. We'll need him; a horn for a cut-off, - the devil saws off a horn and gives it to Wu-Jin, - this is the guarantee.
Artifact Devil's Horn:
Fireball once a day.
Jean Maré, stuffing the eggs into his pocket: I'm with you, because I'm tired of frying these eggs.
Wu-Jin: What are they made of?
Jean Maré: Well, yesterday you boys imagined a rhinoceros. So I made eggs out of its separate parts.
Artifact Rhinoceros Eggs
Plague once a day[/B]
Wu-Jin, the devil, and Jean Maré jump out the window.
Devastation everywhere, drunken faces, and dark-orange flags.
The Devil, spitting in such a way that his phlegm knocks over a small squad of fifty paladins: F*cking revolutionaries...
Everyone runs to the bridge. An arrow hits Jean Maré.
Jean Maré (in a mocking voice): IDDQD (:)).
The arrow bounces back at the shooter. He falls dead.
Then a picture unfolds before the heroes: some scrawny lad in plate armor, just over two meters tall and about a meter and a half wide, has beaten up a formidable peasant who is a meter tall in his cap and as scrawny as a dog in a manure desert. He shouted "Hooray, in the name of Isabelle" and everyone carried him in their arms like a hero.
Jean Maré, spitting again and hitting someone's fireball, which goes out upon contact with Jean's phlegm: Now that's a national hero.
Devil: As is known, heroes don't have sex and don't go to the bathroom for number two, not to mention that none of them spent their childhood playing with their own hand...
Wu-Jin, approaching the demon on the bridge: Man, how are you?
Demon: On that field grows a blue flower - a favorite pastime of homosexuals... They should be hit with a sickle on the...
Devil: Our kind of guy, clearly.
Suddenly, the demon is grabbed and thrown onto a bonfire, drenched in holy water. The demon twitches and tries to jump out of the tight grip of the captors.
The convicts come to the Demon's defense. Jean Maré takes the eggs out of his pocket and throws them at the peasants. They turn into stupid zombies. Wu-Jin twists everyone's arms behind their heads in the style of Chinese action movies. The Devil hits everyone with his tail and breathes fire. Everyone is in a panic, the demon is stunned.
The convicts free the demon.
Devil: Who are you? And where were you going? Come sit in the cell with us!
Wu-Jin: No need for the cell. We're already short on macaroni.
Jean Maré: A demon is the kind of creature that will find not only macaroni, but also wine and eggplants, and will share!
The Devil twitches his tail...
Wu-Jin: Let's go to the cell, it's cozier there...