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Okay, I'll write another treatise explaining why I dislike elves.
Elves are jerks.
An elf lives for a thousand years. An elf belongs to the HIGHEST, ANCIENT RACE. From birth, an elf is predisposed to do everything perfectly. Elves are the best mages in the world. Elves are the best rangers in the world. Elves are the best archers in the world. One can only envy the elven mastery of the blade; no one else is capable of achieving the same results. Elves are the best blacksmiths in the world; their LIGHT METAL ARMOR, THE STRONGEST OF ALL, surpasses even dwarven craftsmanship. Elves are the best artists in the world; their music, dances, and songs are masterpieces of world art. Elves are the wisest of the wise: no gray-haired wizard, nor a long-bearded, proud human, can even compare to a three-hundred-year-old elven youth who has absorbed the WISDOM OF THE RACE. If elves in a setting use horses, then they are the best riders in the world, gliding across rough terrain as if it were a plain. Animals are always friendly with elves and completely obey their commands, and in general, an elf is the best druid.
Elves invariably make a PROPHECY centuries ago that the whole world fears, because they are the best seers, and the future, with all its variability, is as clear to them as day. Elves are the most attractive humanoid race. Elven youths are all handsome fellows, and their velvety skin is smoother than a baby's. Elves don't need to use the toilet – they are the highest race. Elves don't get sick. An elf doesn't need daily sleep; they mostly fall into a trance once a week, or spend the whole night intently watching the flames of a campfire, while the other low-born travelers snore in their sleeping bags, because they are the highest race. An elf can run across deep snow as if it were grass. If an elf is somehow killed, they will invariably kill two dozen enemies before pathetically falling to their knees and releasing their noble spirit, which awaits rebirth in a new body.
Elves don't work. Peasants bend their backs from dawn to dusk to survive, soldiers endure for a pittance and praise from the sergeant, dwarves sweat in their mines, process ore, and forge. And while this is happening, elves sing songs in the forest, dance, drink wine, clap their hands, or, for fun, ambush and shoot an honest merchant who dared to pass through their forest.
Elves look down on all other races as if they were dirt. An elf will invariably wrinkle their delicate face and haughtily complain that they heard and smelled the stinking human pigs from a mile away.
Elves are a boring, pompous, and conceited bunch. Even a clan dwarf, obsessed with racial pride, would gladly drink ale, joke, laugh, and maybe even have a friendly brawl, but not an elf. If an elf enters a tavern, they will sit in a dark corner, pulling their hood over their face and WATCHING THE HERO INTENTLY. Elves rarely trade or cooperate with anyone; they prefer to sit in their forest with ticks and mosquitoes and "watch with a smirk the agony of the lower races." You can't just casually talk to an elf about something; they will wrinkle their adolescent face and mutter through their teeth about Terrible Omens or Beautiful Legends, levels that others have yet to reach. Elves are very narrow-minded and vindictive; if, four hundred years ago, evil bandits killed a young Alandor's ancestor, the young avenger will be filled with hatred and make it his goal to cleanse the world of the human vermin.
Elves have lived in their stone age with fireflies and bows for MILLIONS of years, and they will continue to live that way until the technologically advanced "lower races" shoot them down with rifles.
Humans fight any evil – evil kingdoms, orcs, the undead, demons, and chaos. Elves kill a child who got lost in the forest and sometimes attack orcs who are chopping wood.
Most of the most depraved fantasy geeks are obsessed with elves, consider themselves elves, and some extremely awkwardly role-play them in role-playing games, gluing elf ears made of papier-mâché to themselves, and at this point, it's not even worth mentioning "drow."
Elves are the favorite fantasy race of escapists, hardcore nerds, and whiners. Perhaps as compensation for failures in real life.
For all the reasons listed above, I hate elves and consider them jerks, as the title states.
Sweetheart, I didn't write this post so quickly, and it fits into the "discussion of races," which is the subject. So please don't delete it.