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The hopes of a 40-year-old, mustachioed black man with a cigarette, a fifth-grader, to become the most bloodthirsty cannibal in the class were shattered after the new girl, Leslie Burke, brought them a Might & Magic book, and they all cried and promised never to eat each other again.
There are more than enough reasons for hostility between the black man and Leslie, and yet a friendship develops between them. How can they not become friends when they have to be king and queen in the magical kingdom discovered in the tropical jungle?
...It was the year 3267 of the 3rd Acryllon War. According to reports from the General Staff of the Galactic Federation, the battle in the asteroid sector G7529-1M for control of the planet Ter (unclear)... I transitioned from the tactical to the active phase. At 67:12, the orbital positions of the Federation's cruiser forces were subjected to heavy fire from plasma Annihilators. The cruisers "Mighty Texas Duck," "Bearded Crab," and "Orange Dora" were shot down, the reconnaissance corvette "Night Amka II" was severely damaged, and the staff barge for table tennis, "TirtSiv," was put out of action. Following this breakthrough, the 186th motorized tractor legion of the Nazgullon orcs was deployed to the planet's surface, and by 29:30, they had blockaded the "SOR" outpost. According to the commander of the Arandorium Magnificent garrison, the situation required urgent intervention, as his unit was experiencing a severe shortage of ammunition, grenades, donuts, and toilet paper due to the intense fighting. To provide assistance, assault units of the 1st KonArmy of Budyonny, a separate brigade of construction paratroopers on a Vampire-class strike aircraft, and the hero of the Second Punic War, White Lizard, were dispatched. In addition, Chip and Dale promised to join the operation, as they always rush to help. Meanwhile, as the besieged finished their last donuts, Lizard conducted large-scale carpet bombing of the orc positions with tomato bombs, clearing the way for the garrison to break out! Glory to the hero! At the awards ceremony in the Federation Assembly Hall, all those who distinguished themselves in this battle were present, including the main victor, White Lizard, despite suffering a concussion from a tractor cultivator. In honor of the New 24th Great Victory, this day was declared a national holiday, and all the heroes received awards, plus the traditional fulfillment of any wish. Among the requested tropical islands, "Bugatti" cars, and personal aircraft, White Lizard's request stood out: "Karlson, when will you finally give me a puppy, huh?" To be continued... P.S.: Chip and Dale are still rushing to help:rolleyes: (End of transmission...)
Иногда они возвращаются :smile27: Бросайте флуд и оффтоп из раздела пятерки в Флудовские ссылки или мне в личку.
But, alas, no one noticed the destroyer-class cruiser "Hellish Battleship," under the command of Revan, which was only two parsecs from the battlefield...
Stan, I'm sure I remember everything exactly as it was!)
The orbital positions of the Federation's cruiser forces were subjected to heavy fire from plasma Annihilators, and cruisers were shot down.
Annihilator is a new, advanced weapon capable of hitting targets with beams of pure energy at a distance of 100500 parsecs, with a probability of hitting the target directly in the heart of slightly more than 100%!
It was a grand battle; almost all of the Federation's troops suffered injuries to some extent... But in the end, everyone got tired of fighting for the sector, and Senator Arandorium reluctantly got up from his throne and walked 13.5 steps to the meeting hall, where Lisar, with a puppy in his arms, was already waiting for him. - Chai, cookies? - Oh, Senator Ara... - Not for you, hero with a puppy under your arm! *everyone turns and looks at Lisar's friend* - No, thank you, my clawed friend! And please stop shaking crumbs off your beard; you're talking to Princess SaanAfia of the 3-Star Kingdoms! *A collective "aaah," "yay," and "Oh my god, I forgot to turn off the kettle!" echoes through the hall.* - Stop, you cowardly scoundrel! Catch him! *the puppy bites Ara on the leg. Afia runs up with a lightsaber.* - Now you won't get away:) - Noooooooo... *kisses him on the cheek* ...yet! - Now will you sign the peace treaty for the entire universe? - Can I have one more?... - First, sign this paper!:) In general, this is how the kindest treaty in the entire universe was concluded. Lisar and his princess settled in the sector... and now every other Saturday of the galactic month, cruisers under the flagship of SOR fly in to have tea together. Sometimes even with pastries. If, of course, TirtsiV doesn't forget to bring them
Don't know, White Lizard, TirtSiv – made me smile :D
O God of Earth and Altar, Bow down and hear our cry, Our earthly rulers falter, Our people drift and die, The walls of gold entomb us, The swords of scorn divide, Take not thy thunder from us, Take away our pride.