Ment
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1.
We're in space, hanging out with a friend in spacesuits. Suddenly, a third friend of ours flies up, without a spacesuit or warning, which surprises us quite a bit.
Some time later, I call the base at the government (in this setting, it's not Earth, but rather a large human colony on another planet, so our superiors are the colony's administrators).
-- Houston, we have a problem. Someone named So-and-so flew up to us in space without a spacesuit, was acting strangely, and was bothering my friend.
"Houston" doesn't believe me. Moreover, the friend in question, who wasn't happy about this in the first place, is now silent, refusing to confirm my story. "You're pulling my leg," I think. It's not the 21st century anymore; our suits have cameras and sensors everywhere. Just check the recordings if you don't believe me...
Of course, no one was going to check (Kanevsky.jpg).
Later, on the planet itself, similar strange people began to appear, with black, unblinking eyes and a bright, contrasting ring around their pupils. They were spouting some nonsense... of an advertising nature. It seems like some clever xenomorphs are infiltrating people and trying to do so subtly, copying the behavior of their hosts, but using television as a source of inspiration. It's scary, very scary.
I figured out what was going on, so when one of them starts approaching me, trying to get close enough to infect me with a kiss, I distract her with a catchy jingle from a Calgon ad. She starts dancing, and I run away.
Another time, on the top floor of a skyscraper, I was caught by several black-eyed people. It was hard to get away from them... I found some disposable slippers, recited some cringe-worthy, hastily composed verse, claiming that it was all that remained of their previous owner, and threw them out the window. While the excited xenomorphs ran after the slippers down the stairs, I jumped out of the window with a parachute.
I arrived at the colonial government. There were only a man with his child and a guard in a helmet. That was the whole "Houston," and it immediately became clear why my warnings were being ignored. Well, I say, it's all bad, the xenomorphs are going to take over everyone...
A second guard returns, walking strangely. I notice this and suggest that he take off his helmet. The government official, apparently frightened by my stories, strongly supports this idea. Together with another guard, we quickly restrain the man and reveal his face. We see black pupils, but he doesn't seem to be fully transformed yet.
Official: -- What should we do?
Me: -- Ugh, I don't know. I guess the safest thing is to cut off his head...
Immediately after that, we see some kind of light show on the infected guard's skin, with colorful threads flashing across it. After a while, the blackness in his pupils begins to fade. It turns out that the guards are some kind of superhumans with super-strong immune systems, and they can fight off the infection. Well, at least that's some good news.
The official and I start putting together a quarantine plan for the planet. Hopefully, it will work.
2.
I'm a school bus driver, on my route. I find out that I need to go to a parking lot first. Okay... I drive there, and they tell me over the phone that I need to go closer, park over there, next to that car. I turn around, maneuvering carefully, and finally, when the bus door is just a millimeter away from the car door, it's good enough. A little vampire gets on the bus. Apparently, my old bus meets the required level of tint, so this offspring will also be riding to school in it, hiding in the back.
Whatever, I've seen weirder. I greet my passengers, apologize for the new passenger (but note that I'm on time), and we drive to school. We arrive, and everything seems fine. Suddenly, several children approach and start making a fuss, saying that the boy can't find his notebook, and that the vampire's child probably stole it (and we trusted you, and how could you let a villain onto our bus?). I'm a little taken aback by the strange accusation, but, keeping a serious face, I try to ask the boy if this is the first time in his short life that he's lost a notebook, or if it's just happening now..
We're in space, hanging out with a friend in spacesuits. Suddenly, a third friend of ours flies up, without a spacesuit or warning, which surprises us quite a bit.
Some time later, I call the base at the government (in this setting, it's not Earth, but rather a large human colony on another planet, so our superiors are the colony's administrators).
-- Houston, we have a problem. Someone named So-and-so flew up to us in space without a spacesuit, was acting strangely, and was bothering my friend.
"Houston" doesn't believe me. Moreover, the friend in question, who wasn't happy about this in the first place, is now silent, refusing to confirm my story. "You're pulling my leg," I think. It's not the 21st century anymore; our suits have cameras and sensors everywhere. Just check the recordings if you don't believe me...
Of course, no one was going to check (Kanevsky.jpg).
Later, on the planet itself, similar strange people began to appear, with black, unblinking eyes and a bright, contrasting ring around their pupils. They were spouting some nonsense... of an advertising nature. It seems like some clever xenomorphs are infiltrating people and trying to do so subtly, copying the behavior of their hosts, but using television as a source of inspiration. It's scary, very scary.
I figured out what was going on, so when one of them starts approaching me, trying to get close enough to infect me with a kiss, I distract her with a catchy jingle from a Calgon ad. She starts dancing, and I run away.
Another time, on the top floor of a skyscraper, I was caught by several black-eyed people. It was hard to get away from them... I found some disposable slippers, recited some cringe-worthy, hastily composed verse, claiming that it was all that remained of their previous owner, and threw them out the window. While the excited xenomorphs ran after the slippers down the stairs, I jumped out of the window with a parachute.
I arrived at the colonial government. There were only a man with his child and a guard in a helmet. That was the whole "Houston," and it immediately became clear why my warnings were being ignored. Well, I say, it's all bad, the xenomorphs are going to take over everyone...
A second guard returns, walking strangely. I notice this and suggest that he take off his helmet. The government official, apparently frightened by my stories, strongly supports this idea. Together with another guard, we quickly restrain the man and reveal his face. We see black pupils, but he doesn't seem to be fully transformed yet.
Official: -- What should we do?
Me: -- Ugh, I don't know. I guess the safest thing is to cut off his head...
Immediately after that, we see some kind of light show on the infected guard's skin, with colorful threads flashing across it. After a while, the blackness in his pupils begins to fade. It turns out that the guards are some kind of superhumans with super-strong immune systems, and they can fight off the infection. Well, at least that's some good news.
The official and I start putting together a quarantine plan for the planet. Hopefully, it will work.
2.
I'm a school bus driver, on my route. I find out that I need to go to a parking lot first. Okay... I drive there, and they tell me over the phone that I need to go closer, park over there, next to that car. I turn around, maneuvering carefully, and finally, when the bus door is just a millimeter away from the car door, it's good enough. A little vampire gets on the bus. Apparently, my old bus meets the required level of tint, so this offspring will also be riding to school in it, hiding in the back.
Whatever, I've seen weirder. I greet my passengers, apologize for the new passenger (but note that I'm on time), and we drive to school. We arrive, and everything seems fine. Suddenly, several children approach and start making a fuss, saying that the boy can't find his notebook, and that the vampire's child probably stole it (and we trusted you, and how could you let a villain onto our bus?). I'm a little taken aback by the strange accusation, but, keeping a serious face, I try to ask the boy if this is the first time in his short life that he's lost a notebook, or if it's just happening now..
Граф Орлов