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Why did Gerasim drown Mu-Mu?
Archimedes: To further confirm my law.
Karl Marx: He was driven to it by the logic of class struggle.
Confucius: To uphold propriety and maintain virtue, showing respect for elders and superiors.
Barbara Cartland: To win the heart of the lady of the house, showing what madness his love is capable of...
Carl Jung: He was driven to it by an unconscious desire to follow the archetypal image of sacrifice.
Sigmund Freud: It is a natural result of the prolonged suppression of hidden sexual fantasies.
Adolf Hitler: To expand the living space for the superior race.
Beavis and Butt-Head: Because he was, like, totally crazy. You know, dude. Heh-heh-heh.
Ernesto Che Guevara: To draw the attention of all progressive people in the world to the struggle against the oppressors.
Jean-Paul Sartre: To question traditional cultural values of society.
Rupert Murdoch: So that he could later turn it into a bestseller. In fact, he did it brilliantly.
Yegor Gaidar: To reduce the tax base by eliminating the need to pay tax on animals.
V. Zhirinovsky: So that the corpse of the unfortunate dog would poison the water! This is sabotage!
Yasser Arafat: So that later, Arabs would be blamed for everything.
Eugène Ionesco: To shock the ordinary man immersed in the hustle and bustle of life.
Marquis de Sade: To derive exquisite pleasure from the last moments of her life and, of course, from these delightful gurgling sounds as she goes overboard.
Leo Tolstoy: To simplify himself and become closer to the people.
Seneca: To free himself from the burden of unnecessary attachments to the world.
Thomas Torquemada: To save her lost soul at the cost of destroying her mortal body.
Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz: It was prescribed by the Pre-established Harmony of the world.
Niels Bohr: It doesn't necessarily have to be Gerasim. With a non-zero probability, Mu-Mu, as a quantum system, could have overcome the potential barrier at any moment and ended up overboard.
Sherlock Holmes: To get rid of the stone, this irrefutable piece of evidence! And the poor Mu-Mu, to which he tied it, was intended to lead the investigation down a false path.
Kurt Gödel: Within the theories available to us, it is impossible to either refute or confirm the truth of Gerasim's act.
Soviet Information Bureau: Our people vehemently reject this очередную propagandistic fabrication.
Gautama Buddha: By denying Mu-Mu within himself, Gerasim distanced himself from enlightenment.
Martin Luther King: I believe that a day will come when no one will ever drown Mu-Mu again.
Ministry of Defense: We have no confirmation of the incident; journalists may have been misled.