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Everyone who leaves and supposedly goes to Australia ends up in a different place. That place they end up in exists, but it's a different place.
If they end up in a different place, then that place is called Australia.) ----
But this isn't even a parody; it's a copy of how people usually respond when they start arguing without even studying the topic.
What you're writing is your usual way of talking, honestly. Before you mentioned the parody, I almost believed that you didn't acknowledge the existence of Australia. There's no difference in your speech at all.