Bread vs. Cake!

Over 98% of convicted criminals consumed (and continue to consume) bread. Half of the children in families that consume bread score below average on tests. In the 18th century, when bread was made at home, life expectancy was 50 years shorter, women died in childbirth, and typhoid and fever were rampant. Over 90% of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of consuming bread. Bread is made from "dough." One pound of dough is enough to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more dough in bread in a month! Primitive tribes that do not consume bread do not suffer from cancer, Parkinson's disease, or Alzheimer's disease, and do not suffer from osteoporosis. Bread is addictive. In experiments, subjects deprived of bread and left to eat only water began to beg for bread after just two days. Bread is just the beginning; it is often consumed with more harmful substances – butter, jam, preserves, and so on. Bread absorbs water. The human body is 90% water, so eating bread can cause the bread to absorb your body. Babies can choke on bread. Bread is baked at temperatures up to 240 degrees. This heat can kill an adult in less than a minute! Most bread consumers are unable to distinguish between scientifically proven facts and statistically meaningless nonsense. To save the nation, we propose: Ban the sale of bread to minors. Launch a national "Say No to Toast" campaign with TV commercials, celebrity endorsements, and bumper stickers. Impose a 300% tax on bread to pay for all the societal ills that we can attribute to bread. Ban the use of images of people, animals, or primary colors in bread advertising. Establish "bread-free" zones around schools. Unfortunately, powerful bread corporations and bakeries stand behind bread, so even talking about the harm of bread is unsafe, let alone treating addiction to it! Bakeries have brainwashed you so much that you don't believe this article!