Sacred Haven of Debauchery

and my soul is filled with longing...

Added 4 minutes ago
and beneath me is a plank
and I stand on it
my hand trembles
I release the rope
and the wind blows in my face
my eyes water so much
as if I were a fool
and I cry over my ball
and the wind keeps whistling
and rattling in the windows
as I fly past
in a flash
I playfully let go of my rope
and the wind blows in my face
the earth is flying towards me
I am weak. I am dying...

Added 15 minutes ago
without time, without color, without space
I open a new stream
I tried very hard to find it
I cannot bring life back
I am gradually forgetting
how I lived my life so wastefully
and in the torments of hell, I burn in the darkness
and I think about eternity.
I killed myself
I am not disgusted by this
much worse is that, boasting about my intellect
I killed people with my incessant lies
cursing with foul language or just getting angry
I sank lower and lower with each day
only a glimmer of light prevented me from drowning
I understood that I would see this hell
but, to be honest, I didn't want to turn back
I purposefully walked towards victory
victory over my own soul
I won, leaving behind a scorching heat on the planet with my departure.
a scorching heat. and this abomination,
joyfully absorbed, now seeks a path in my children
to pierce them through and appear again.
but that's not the point... I continued my lineage of fear, of disgrace
which was only started by someone else
but excuses will not help in eternity
there are no concepts of "happiness" and "peace" here.
I am gradually forgetting how I lived
I am gradually getting used to the fire
I led myself to the grave in a similar way.
for what do I condemn myself?
- "praise" is what I meant to say.
why are you changing the intensity of your thoughts?
- I just want what's best.
I haven't written poetry in a long time.