Amko
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Hello, Grandfather Frost! My name is Kawai Amko. I don't know how old I am! Not too young, not too old, but I believe and hope that you exist and are reading my letter right now. My mother is a very mean aunt. She doesn't allow me to write letters to you, so I'm sitting here writing this letter. Mom only lets me go out to play until 6 in the morning. When I don't listen to her, she throws a nuclear missile at me and often hits me right in the little finger of my left foot =( One day, I couldn't stand it anymore and said to her: "bleh." My dad works as a lol and when he comes home from work in a bad mood, he yells: "some gibberish" and makes me fix his brain. But I don't know how to fix anything, so I end up doing a terrible job. He gets even angrier and forbids me from playing "bottle" with my friends. Dad also came up with a nickname for me, and he calls me not Kawai Amko, but "cutie"! This is very offensive. In general, Grandfather Frost, if you're not from Arandor, you'll understand how good things are for me. Dear Grandfather Frost, red sausage, take me with you or send me a nuclear missile. Also, make it so that the people close to me love me and give me money more often for... well, you know. My beloved Grandfather Frost, you are my last chance. I hope that for the New Year, I will find a nuclear missile under the Christmas tree. Grandfather Frost, understand how good things are for me. If you don't read this letter or it doesn't reach you, it's okay. Remember that I believe in you, you bastard!