LeSHiJ-MaX
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Forgive me, ladies. I just couldn't resist. I'm relaying this without any changes to the text:D
My wife's friend, Lyubashka, after working hard to earn some money and diligently "studying" in driving courses (if you can even call them that), bought herself a brand new Fiat Punto. They celebrated the purchase, wiped the headlights and windows, kicked the tires, and honked the horn.
The trouble came a week later when, on my way home from work, my cell phone rang, and Lyubashka's tearful voice told me that she had crashed the car. And, as she put it, completely wrecked it. When I asked what exactly happened, Lyubashka "killed" me with the argument: "Even the underbody protection came off."
I've been nervously smoking for years when "master mechanics" "fix" my "darling" at the car service. But, to be honest, I've never heard of such an unknown part as "underbody protection." It was simply unacceptable to make a fool of myself and admit my own automotive illiteracy!
Curiosity overcame my fatigue, and I "without hesitation" announced that I would come over to "assess the damage."
As I drove past Lyubashka's apartment building, I noticed that, externally, the "Button," as my wife's friend affectionately called her new "car," looked even newer than it had a week ago. This was not the last surprise that evening.
After repeating that the part she lost was called "underbody protection," the tearful blonde opened the trunk and gave me, the intrigued observer, the opportunity to admire the sight of a SEWER MANHOLE cover resting in Lyubashka's car.
To my timid question about how this happened, I was told literally the following:
"I was driving, and suddenly, 'Bang!' I must have hit a bump. I slammed on the brakes.
I got out, and it, the protection, was lying next to the car. Some guys stopped.
I complained to them, and they said that this part is the most important in the car and that it is extremely dangerous to drive without it. They helped me load it into the trunk and advised me to go to the service station (40 km/h, right lane, with hazard lights on)." All of her tirade was occasionally interrupted by sobs and my attempts to suppress laughter. But that's not all. A greasy mechanic from the car service, after listening to Lyubashka's tearful story and wiping his hands with an equally greasy rag, told the friend that the guys on the road were absolutely right, because there is no part in the car more important than "underbody protection." But he couldn't repair the car because he didn't have... Listen carefully:
"Left-handed self-tapping screws СС416/53"455674/546388/Bis" (the kind mechanic presented Lyubashka with a piece of paper with the screw number so that she wouldn't forget what kind he needed). The seller in the store, where Lyubka immediately went, initially looked slightly puzzled, then importantly announced that THESE screws are only available on special order in three months, and even then, there is no guarantee that they will be delivered, and therefore, it is impossible to drive the car!
That's it! I don't remember anything after that because at that moment, I "lost it."
I laughed so hard that I almost got a stomach cramp. For such irresponsible behavior, I was later called an "idiot" by my wife. Apparently, it was purely out of female solidarity
My wife's friend, Lyubashka, after working hard to earn some money and diligently "studying" in driving courses (if you can even call them that), bought herself a brand new Fiat Punto. They celebrated the purchase, wiped the headlights and windows, kicked the tires, and honked the horn.
The trouble came a week later when, on my way home from work, my cell phone rang, and Lyubashka's tearful voice told me that she had crashed the car. And, as she put it, completely wrecked it. When I asked what exactly happened, Lyubashka "killed" me with the argument: "Even the underbody protection came off."
I've been nervously smoking for years when "master mechanics" "fix" my "darling" at the car service. But, to be honest, I've never heard of such an unknown part as "underbody protection." It was simply unacceptable to make a fool of myself and admit my own automotive illiteracy!
Curiosity overcame my fatigue, and I "without hesitation" announced that I would come over to "assess the damage."
As I drove past Lyubashka's apartment building, I noticed that, externally, the "Button," as my wife's friend affectionately called her new "car," looked even newer than it had a week ago. This was not the last surprise that evening.
After repeating that the part she lost was called "underbody protection," the tearful blonde opened the trunk and gave me, the intrigued observer, the opportunity to admire the sight of a SEWER MANHOLE cover resting in Lyubashka's car.
To my timid question about how this happened, I was told literally the following:
"I was driving, and suddenly, 'Bang!' I must have hit a bump. I slammed on the brakes.
I got out, and it, the protection, was lying next to the car. Some guys stopped.
I complained to them, and they said that this part is the most important in the car and that it is extremely dangerous to drive without it. They helped me load it into the trunk and advised me to go to the service station (40 km/h, right lane, with hazard lights on)." All of her tirade was occasionally interrupted by sobs and my attempts to suppress laughter. But that's not all. A greasy mechanic from the car service, after listening to Lyubashka's tearful story and wiping his hands with an equally greasy rag, told the friend that the guys on the road were absolutely right, because there is no part in the car more important than "underbody protection." But he couldn't repair the car because he didn't have... Listen carefully:
"Left-handed self-tapping screws СС416/53"455674/546388/Bis" (the kind mechanic presented Lyubashka with a piece of paper with the screw number so that she wouldn't forget what kind he needed). The seller in the store, where Lyubka immediately went, initially looked slightly puzzled, then importantly announced that THESE screws are only available on special order in three months, and even then, there is no guarantee that they will be delivered, and therefore, it is impossible to drive the car!
That's it! I don't remember anything after that because at that moment, I "lost it."
I laughed so hard that I almost got a stomach cramp. For such irresponsible behavior, I was later called an "idiot" by my wife. Apparently, it was purely out of female solidarity
С самого начала позаботься о своем месте в жизни, чтобы не уподобиться маятнику. /Херберт. Ф./
Клан: "Смертельный Альянс" - "Mortal Alliance"
