Auto-translated
Forced peace: "They didn't kill him in the bathroom, but they let him thoroughly embarrass himself."
At a UN Security Council meeting:
Ambassador of Georgia:
- "Saakashvili stated that the President of Russia, D. Medvedev, is biased towards Georgia, and what's more, during our last phone call, he made personally offensive sexual remarks to me."
Churkin:
- "There were no such remarks. Here is a printout of the phone conversation."
Saakashvili: "Hello, Mr. President."
Medvedev: "Go f*** yourself."
A young lion tamer came to apply for a job at the circus.
- "Do you have experience working with lions?" asked the director.
- "Yes, of course. My father was a tamer, and I learned from him since childhood."
- "Really? Can you make a lion jump through a burning hoop?"
- "I can."
- "And can you arrange six lions in a pyramid?"
- "I can do that too."
- "Have you ever put your head in a lion's mouth?"
- "Yes, once..."
- "Why only once?" the director was surprised.
- "Well... I was looking for my father there..."
It's very easy to become an intellectual - you just need to take the baseball bat out of your car and put a beautiful metal golf club in its place.
Every morning for George W. Bush started the same way:
Condoleezza Rice would tell him who he was and where he was.
- Dad, what do you prefer to drink - beer or vodka?
- It depends on the purpose of drinking. The main thing in drinking beer is the process, and in drinking vodka - the result.
- Doctor, we're losing the patient! What should we do?
- Do nothing. Let him go peacefully. He'll get sick soon and come back.