Fun

I've collected quite a few computer-related jokes; I don't know if they're old news, but here they are: I really like the band Unknown Artist; you know them, they sing Track 1, Track 2. And I really love Track 9! From the security department's report: ...regarding the Chinese hacking of the Pentagon's server: 1) Each Chinese person tried one password. 2) Every other password was "maodzedun." 3) On the 657983241st attempt, the server agreed that its password was "maodzedun." A programmer meets girls: - Girls, would you like some tea? - No! - How about coffee? - No!! - Maybe some vodka? - No!!! - Strange... the standard drivers didn't work... At the World Championship of Female Logic, a random number generator won by a large margin. Two programmers are sitting in a cafe. A stunning woman walks by. - She has great properties, says one. - I checked yesterday... they're all read-only, the other replies sadly. Microsoft decided to recall 1,000,000,000 keyboards. The reason: wear and tear on the Ctr, Alt, and Del keys. At 3 a.m., she quietly sneaked into the next room. She smashed a 17-inch monitor, glued the floppy disks together, threw the system unit out the window of the 12th floor, and drowned the printer in the bathtub. Then she returned to her warm bed and snuggled up to her unsuspecting programmer husband. She has less than 3 hours to live. A nouveau riche visits another. He looks around and sees that the entire floor is covered with small, beautiful, shiny tiles. - What are those on your floor? - These are new floor tiles... They're expensive... - Why are they so small? - Because they're from a good company! - Which one? - Intel... A man comes home, sits down at the computer, and starts yelling at his wife: - Did you cheat on me? - No, how could I? - Did you cheat on me? - Yes, who could I have cheated with? - Admit it, did you cheat on me? - Well, I slept with the neighbor once... - I'm asking, did you change the password for logging into the network? A programmer's job and a shaman's job have a lot in common: both mumble incomprehensible words, perform incomprehensible actions, and cannot explain how it works. The best game server is Earth: there's only one map, but it has 6 billion players; there are no cheaters, the admin is patient, but if he bans you... - Attention, Earth! This is Flight 13! Our onboard computer has failed! What should we do? - Flight 13! Flight 13! This is dispatch! Do you hear me? Play on the backup for now! Play on the backup!