Humor in Heroes of Might and Magic V.

New story from the series: "AI Stupidity": I was playing as the Necropolis faction. I summoned 3 Death Knights and continued on. There were about 20 peasants in my path. I still had enough mana left, and I decided to create some skeletons. To avoid waiting too long, I left only the Death Knights on the battlefield and activated auto-battle. The battle began. Round 1. The Death Knights, with their first attack, dealt a killing blow and killed 1 peasant. The hero attacked. Several more peasants fell. Round 2. The peasants attacked the Death Knights and received a counterattack... and then the same thing happened as in round 1. Round 3. If the peasants had been smarter, they would have survived until round 5, but due to their stupidity, they fell from the counterattack! Second story: Story from the series "what you won't do for a few warriors": I was playing as the Castle faction. Once, with an army of 13 unupgraded griffins, 20 upgraded and 20 unupgraded archers, 40 upgraded and 20 unupgraded peasants, 30 swordsmen, 3 monks, and Godric – a mage familiar with advanced Dark Magic, Chaos, and Light, but unfamiliar with any spells above level 3 – I attacked an abandoned mine guarded by 24 Earth Elementals. The battle began. During the setup, I grouped everyone except the griffins together. The elementals were in one stack. Round 1. The archers (in this text, the stack of monks, the stack of archers, and the stack of ranged attackers) attack and kill 1 elemental. Godric, who can take down 3 elementals with one attack and one with an Ice Bolt (he had nothing more powerful than Ice Bolt), cast... Slow on them! They became almost immobile lumps with an initiative of 3. :D Round 2. When the elementals moved so that they could reach the griffins on the next turn, there were only about 10 of them left (elementals, not birds). I could have taken them down with the griffins long ago, but 1-2 would have died from the counterattack. And so, the griffins flew around the elementals. Round 3. The elementals make the dumbest move: they move ONE square (in Nival games, this would be called "not getting within striking range"). The battle ended. Victory :smile14:. 15 minutes for 24 elementals. Although when attacking the mine, I expected to encounter undead. The most interesting thing is that this army was practically useless to me afterward. No one attacked my Castle, and my other hero easily defeated the enemy on his own. Added 47 minutes later

If you're interested in the translation in the pirated version, see the posts above; there's a lot of interesting stuff there. :D Or how about this: "Blue actor turn" - meaning the blue player is taking their turn. A friend got a pirated copy of Lords of the North, and in it, Berserkers are translated as "Scandalmongers." :D

I also had a pirated version before, and during loading, it would say:

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