Posts from Sacred Haven of Debauchery Auto-translated

washed down with stale swamp water – and no gastritis.

Google amazes me. I could say it scares me, but since I have nothing to hide or be afraid of, it only amazes me.
I'm talking about some program on my phone – I don't even know what it's called – that provides helpful suggestions.
Well, okay – weather forecasts and warnings that it will rain tomorrow, reminding me to take an umbrella. Or that it will get colder (or warmer) – which is also useful. Okay – travel time to and from work.
But then there's my business trip to Germany. I didn't tell Google anything.
The day before my flight, I receive a notification: "Hey, you have a flight from Borispol, at this time, flight number, this terminal. And a layover in Munich. Here's the terminal, here's the weather in the city you're flying to – and you also have a hotel booked in Erlangen – booking number, hotel address."
Ah, you sneaky thing. You read everything in my email – all the letters – recognized the text. Analyzed it. Put it together in a logical sequence. And presented it – in a very convenient form, indeed, in a way that's actually necessary.
Shaitan!
And then – even more. It writes: "Hey, to make it to Borispol (and Google knows where I live), you should leave no later than 4:10 AM. Otherwise, you'll be late." As a separate notification.
Thanks. That's exactly what I was planning.
I don't know who writes these algorithms at Google. But they are really cool guys. And they do a great job. It really helps me – and I'm not talking about me searching myself in "Google Maps." It's that, without my request, they help me live more comfortably.
So – thank you, #google – for helping me navigate in Frankfurt, for taking care of me, it's nice. #google – I'm ready to watch your ads, and more than once. It's worth it.
And to those guys who write the algorithms and programs – may God grant that some of our programmers are among them – thank you very much.
It really is fantastic.
But not as fantastic as watching in Frankfurt how people are checked separately by scanning their passport and retina.

It has the ability to slow down the aging process and improve blood circulation.

True story.

Heh, yeah...