Posts from I'm writing a fan fiction book about "Heroes".

I'll write here too.

Some time ago, I became obsessed with an idea – to write a book set in a world very similar to the world of Heroes :smile13: (my favorite childhood game, and I can't help it).
This theme has been haunting me for many weeks now, and I've completely surrendered to it and indulged in writing, to the detriment of work and many other things.

The initial idea is simple and came to me after reading the wonderful series "Play to Live" by Rusa (I highly recommend taking the time to read it; it's not just entertaining – the books leave a very pleasant impression, and many thoughts continue to linger long after reading). It revolves around the idea that in the near future, the gaming industry and virtual worlds will be highly developed and detailed, barely distinguishable from reality, and it will be discovered that those who play too much can "break down" – lose the ability to exit the game, remaining there forever, and losing connection with their physical body, and even the need for it. This is a somewhat fantastical premise, but that's what science fiction is for – to tell stories :)
So, in Rusa's story, the hero is terminally ill with cancer and escapes imminent death in a certain RPG-like "Drumir," a distant descendant of WOW and similar games.
I want to place my hero in a fantasy strategy world, based on "Heroes" and some other old games that I love, primarily "Master of Magic."
Right now, I'm slowly developing and thinking about the concept of this world, and I would be very grateful for any criticism and advice.

What I have so far (not much yet, unfortunately; it's proving to be difficult, I have to think a lot, and I often discard everything I've done and start from scratch):
http://samlib.ru/g/georgiewich_j/heroes.shtml

I think it would be more convenient if you copied your book here. We could discuss and critique it, and you could edit it directly as we go.

We could discuss and criticize

criticize

We know how to do that. And we even enjoy it.

We could discuss and troll.

troll.

We know how to do that. And we even enjoy it.

Fixed.

That’s why there are so few great people.

Yes, on HeroesWorld only the chosen from above can become great.

I read the selected pigs.

Yes, on HeroesWorld only the chosen ones from above can become great.

Nah, you just need to submit an application.

I honestly tried to insert it, but it doesn't work.
Neither in pieces nor as a whole.

Oh, I didn't get to read the prologue...
Basically, there's a limit on the maximum size of a message. Also, when you post several messages in a row, they are automatically merged. And as a result, all the text disappears. But you can post in parts, and someone will insert trolling separators between the parts.

Man, this is all so hard!!!

Added after 54 seconds
Prologue
I laugh, watching the heavy leaden clouds racing away, seeing how the teeth of the formidable, snarling mountains mercilessly tear and torment their tender, fluffy bodies. I laugh, shifting my gaze downward to the dense dark forest, stretching in two grim, deaf walls forward and backward on both sides of the broken country road, as if squeezing it. I laugh, squatting down and scooping up a handful of dust; I laugh, plucking a long, juicy blade of grass growing on the roadside; I laugh, touching the cold, damp earth; I laugh, swatting away a fat fly that buzzed past. I laugh because I cannot believe what is happening. That a long streak of failures has apparently finally been replaced by victory, and that everything around me is now mine.
I draw the sword from the scabbard, which hangs awkwardly and uncomfortably at my side. I admire it, stroke the cold metal, and test the sharpness of the blade with my finger. With a swing, I chop a branch from a tree that happened to be nearby; it falls to the ground with a light, offended rustle, but obediently nonetheless. I return the blade to the scabbard, running my fingers over the hilt in farewell, gently, as if over the skin of a beloved woman. A cool, real, manly toy.
I raise my right hand, on the middle finger of which gleams a ring with a large red stone, likely a ruby (I can't vouch for that, because I've never seen one in the flesh). The presence of the ring on my finger is almost more unusual to me than the scabbard at my side: I've never worn such things. For a long time, I watch the play of light in the stone, turning it at different angles. In reality, this toy is even more manly, for power is hidden there, inside. Straining with all my might, I try to remove it — useless. That's how it should be; it is mine alone: it cannot be given away or taken away; separating me from it would possibly only be possible by chopping off the finger, and even then, it's far from certain...
Concentrating, I give a mental command. A large black rectangle appears in the air beside me, lying horizontally, with a tiny green speck in the middle. Another command — and the rectangle begins to enlarge, the speck grows, swallowing the blackness, and now a tiny lonely figure standing on a forest road can be seen in its center. Involuntarily shuddering, I glance up at the point from which such a perspective opens, like on a magical map, but, of course, there are only clouds. Looking again at the image hanging before me, I manage to notice that the little man there was just looking straight at me, but quickly turned away, and now stared down and to the side again. I try to zoom in further — no further, maximum magnification. I close it.
I pat the tightly packed, heavy leather bag that presses mercilessly on my shoulder. After a bit of fussing, I overcome the tricky ties, reach inside, and pull out a handful of brightly sparkling gold coins that seem to glow of their own accord. Yes, there is a fortune by local standards, and a considerable sum in earthly equivalent — all my savings over many years, and something more. I pour the money back. It is very good when you are not a pauper at the start, but already a quite affluent person.
I turn my hand palm up and imagine that I see an open book lying on it. I barely manage to catch and save from falling the materialized tome, which turned out to be of quite impressive size and considerable weight. With trepidation and reverence, I begin to leaf through the ancient yellowed pages, from which actual book dust flies, and examine pictures of all sorts of creatures and monsters, buildings, items of not always clear purpose, as well as lines of text, seemingly handwritten in a beautiful Gothic script. I have to study all of this; so far, I have only skimmed the contents of the coveted volume. I bring it closer to my face and inhale the scent of the old book with pleasure. Yes, working with it will be a true delight. Closing the tome with slight regret, I mentally hide it again in that unknown immaterial storage where it was kept before.
Finally, clenching my suddenly sweaty palms, I proceed to the final check. A silent command, and a human figure appears before me, dressed strangely and funny, like an illustration from an old fairy tale book: in an embroidered linen shirt and linen pants, wearing boots with slightly upturned toes. Only the cleanly shaven head and face do not fit the clothes, but it doesn't matter, it's not a fashion show. And I feel an unusual emptiness inside; I probably won't do this a second time in a row, which is not surprising, since my magical abilities are only rudimentary, and there is no controllable magical source to fuel me yet. Another command — the figure turns around, draws a sword from the clumsily dangling scabbard, and chops the trunk of a thick pine tree. The blade passes through the wood as if it weren't there: naturally, since I only created an illusion. I dissipate it, and joy begins to swell within me again. I pull myself together — too early, still too early, although the first, giant step forward has been taken: I am here, and before me is a new world that will very soon become my only home, despite the fact that for many this is just a game, and despite the fact that I will effectively become just a record in an artificial neuropamięt, exabytes of information. And nevertheless, I rejoice like a child, in a way I haven't rejoiced for a long time, and continue to laugh like a madman.

Okay, now let's read.

And here is another small piece, the very beginning of chapter 1. But it's tedious to insert such small bits, honestly, it's easier to just click on the link and read it, the format is normal there! Chapter 1. Tell me, if you ever have to abandon everything: your lifestyle, your homeland, your home, your property acquired through your own labor or simply inherited, your connections, acquaintances, friends, would you give up a chance to go to a place where you can become a full-fledged ruler of your own lands, a real castle, perhaps even more than one, armies, as well as servants, numerous and hardly any that you might need or imagine? Personally, I couldn't refuse. When I realized that I urgently needed to disappear – don't ask why: believe me, it's not worth it – I quickly abandoned all options of fleeing to the wilderness or abroad, and began to study information about virtual worlds, and that very, well-known phenomenon, "the Break." If you haven't heard of it, it's when people who play in full immersion mode for too long lose the ability to exit the game, become completely digitized, and begin to function autonomously from their physical body, which falls into a coma or something like that, and becomes completely unnecessary to its former owner, like a shell for a hatched chick. This is a great chance for a new life for many dying people, the disabled, as well as those, like me, who are looking for a way to disappear. In addition, some believe in fairy tales that "broken" people get the opportunity for eternal life, regardless even of the servers' operation – in my opinion, this is utter nonsense, although it is very pleasant, and you just want to believe it, because immortality would not hurt anyone, and even a tiny chance of getting it is priceless. But, being a realist, I am only counting on some time of new virtual life, and not a small one, since the server owners, after the first "breaks," will be legally obliged to ensure the uninterrupted operation of their equipment. After all, any malfunction in its operation, not to mention a power outage, could theoretically lead to virtual and final deaths of the digitized. It is, of course, unpleasant to feel dependent on factors that cannot be influenced, and that exist somewhere far away, in an inaccessible and increasingly unattainable world, but I roughly calculated the probabilities, and it turned out that death from an earthquake, a flood, and especially in a car accident, is much more likely than such a situation, and in my case, there is nothing to talk about. In short, I definitely decided on a way to escape, deciding to part with my mortal body and abandon the material world in favor of the digital one, and began to look for a future place of residence, studying and analyzing information about "the Break" and modern full-fledged virtual worlds. I was very glad that I didn't rush and approached the search responsibly, deciding to dig deeper and not immediately be swayed by popular and widely advertised brands, such as, for example, the sensational "Drumir," an undisputed leader in the modern gaming industry, which is a very well-developed and beautiful RPG with enormous possibilities. Quite unexpectedly, among the not-so-well-known games, I found a real treasure – "Lands of Might and Magic," which is a free translation, imagine, of the English "Lands of Might and Magic." Does that name remind you of anything? How such a cool and interesting thing remained overlooked by the public is unclear. The lack of advertising is still quite explainable – the company that released the game went bankrupt, sold it for a pittance to another, and that one, apparently, had its own plans for "Lands," but they never got around to it. In principle, it is clear where the not-so-high ratings from critics came from: firstly, they criticized the excessive meticulousness and thoroughness of the developers, who created an overly complex and realistic world, in which you have to take into account many factors while playing, and secondly, they were unhappy with the large number of bugs, because the work on the final polishing was never completed, for the reasons already mentioned above. But nevertheless, tell me: why do millions of people looking for a second chance and a new life flock to RPG worlds, where you start practically with nothing, when you can already be a real feudal lord at the start, with unlimited power, and the ability to expand your possessions almost indefinitely? I personally don't understand such people. As the saying goes: if you are hesitating between several possible options, you don't need any of them; the right choice is made without the slightest doubt. So, after I came across "Lands," I firmly and immediately decided to link my future with it, especially since, according to the creators, they tried to recreate the atmosphere and romance of the old games in the "Heroes of Might and Magic," "Master of Magic," "Warcraft," and the like series. And in my distant, happy childhood, I managed to get a little involved in these ancient strategies, thanks to my late father, who was a true fan of them. For the sake of conscience, of course, I continued to look at other options for some time, but predictably I didn't find anything worthwhile among them, and only further confirmed the correctness of my decision.

Well... Okay, you're probably right.

There is such a possibility).