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The entire book is here:
http://proza.ru/2012/03/27/1071
And here are the annotation and separate parts
Elsinor, an apple merchant from the snowy city of Stormhold—where mages, nagas, titans, and gremlins live (the Tower castle in Heroes III)—accidentally saves a mage from dishonor, and as a token of gratitude, the same grants him the opportunity to attend a school of magic, which means the chance to become a mage. Following this, Elsinor must choose the element of magic he intends to study and even take exams for a magical rank in order to enter military service. He even participates in the most important events in the city's life, such as the start of the war with the Swamp Kingdom, the desolation of the city, the fall of the mages' power in the city, etc., and meets leprechauns and elves. For those who want to learn more about all this, I recommend reading the text below. Happy reading)
Stormhold
Chapter 1. The Apple of Fate
My family's history knew no other profession than that of an apple seller. My father, my grandfather, my great-grandfather—in short, all the men in our family were apple sellers. Therefore, when I was born 20 years ago, my now deceased grandmother confidently predicted that I would be an excellent apple seller, to which my mother remarked: "How wise are your words, Mother!"—and the men nodded their beards in approval.
According to old Stormhold custom, to determine a child's future fate, as soon as they began to crawl and could more or less distinguish a dog from a frying pan, they were placed alone before an entire arsenal of various objects, such as a horseshoe, a piece of unfinished leather, a goose quill, a purse with money, or, if lucky, a knife, a flute, or a lute. It was believed that the first object the child touched would determine their future profession. One who tried to lift the horseshoe became a blacksmith. He who took up the quill became a literate person and went to serve as an accountant or, as often happened, was an unfortunate poet and a well-known tavern drunkard. The whole family looked gloomily upon a child who accidentally cut their tender finger on a knife blade. It was believed that he would grow up weak or die of his own stupidity. But in most cases, the knives placed were blunt, unable to cut anything at all, and moreover, they were pointed handle-first toward the child. Therefore, when a boy in a family of swindlers, thieves, and murderers looked spellboundly at a knife, and then even tried to take it in his little hands by the handle rather than with his mouth by the blade, the family arranged a grand drinking bout with a traditional knife fight and the tragic death of two or three people.
It is said that in noble houses, a harp, a small pony, or even a volume of first-level magic from any school might be placed before the child. But unfortunately, this only applied to noble houses. Or at least more or less decent ones. In my house, there was nothing before me but apples. And for my family, the main intrigue lay in how much my father could fleece the market for the apple I had chosen.
Our Stormhold was a land of eternal snow, located in a mountain gorge. A home for the lost, a salvation for freezing travelers, a cold grave for many generations of its inhabitants. Winter here began long ago, even before my birth. Right when the current High Mage took charge of the guild. It is said that before him, there were still warm days here. The people in Stormhold can be very loosely divided into those who still remember spring and those who since birth have never seen a single dandelion growing around. The residents themselves love to reminisce about this after sunset in the local tavern. Previously, the "springers" were far more numerous than the "winters." At times, it was quite unsafe for a "winter" to sit in the tavern late into the night. But with each passing year, the "springers" become fewer and fewer. Which works in my favor. Although I wouldn't refuse to see growing grasses and dandelions in our mountains. Previously, they always greeted travelers who arrived in Stormhold with joy and left it with sadness.
The pride of Stormhold is our fortress—a towering white eagle soaring among the rocks, with many defensive towers that have saved us more than once during the Tribal Wars. The second most significant place for life in Stormhold is the tavern—a place where stories of great mages of the past are diluted with ale and wine. There are plenty of houses, as well as stables, which for some reason house not horses, but homeless people. There is also the town hall—a stone building with a huge clock on the central square, where we all paid taxes; the Forum—the center of political life, where the whole city gathers to argue, vote, and make important decisions; an icy bridge to the fortress, and other things. The Tower of magic with its library was always so secret from the common people that any mention of knowledge and magic caused internal disgust in me. The same Factory produces mechanical creatures barely receptive to sorcery. Mages use golems to hone their magical art upon them. Every mage, before beginning their studies, must buy a golem with their own money and attend magic classes with it. Simple students ordered stone or iron golems from the factory, while students from noble families came with gold or even diamond golems—they served much longer than their stone-iron brethren. The palaces of titans and nagas are mysterious and sacred places where a simple mortal never entered. Rumors say that somewhere near the city there is a pavilion of djinns. A mirage that for a second becomes reality. Whoever accidentally ended up there said goodbye to Stormhold forever and lived in the realm of their fulfilled desires. And, of course, one cannot fail to mention the place of my birth and perhaps even conception. I mean the market square.
The market, where my first apple was sold with a small markup, was much more to me than just a market. Everything I have learned in my life, I learned there. Here I spoke for the first time, sold an apple, learned to walk—exactly like that: first I spoke, and then I learned to walk. For in order to sell an apple profitably, one must first learn to speak, while walking, it seemed to me, was not necessary at all: noble people never got off their horses, and the especially noble always had a palanquin and servants. So, the market was much more to me than just a market. I knew everything about it—every mouse hole, every seller, their pedigree back five generations. All my friends worked at the market. All my enemies were buyers there.
Since childhood, I loved counting money. Making it jingle, holding it in my hands, moving it from one stack to another. Every gold coin I earned, I carefully hid from any eyes, saved, stockpiled, and sometimes treated myself or my parents to gifts that were expensive for a little boy. It is hard for me to say why I strove so strongly for wealth. Apparently, my love for shiny objects manifested as a desire to earn as much as possible, and then I simply liked gifting myself or others. And in this, my apples helped me.
— Hey, Elsinor! Are you talking to the apples from a hangover again? — That was the voice of the blond oaf and also my friend Brenn. We traded at neighboring stalls: I with apples, he with pumpkins.
— No, I'm not talking; I'm not some poor mentally ill person.
— Well, don't deceive yourself: after yesterday, everyone in Stormhold thinks you are the very first madman in our city.
— I remember nothing. And I don't want to remember.
— Then I'll tell you!
— And you don't need to tell me that.
— What, you don't want to know the main story of this winter in Stormhold?
— No.
— Then perhaps you want to know why Roxanne declared she won't speak with you until you drop dead and rot in your grave, and the only ones who will attend your funeral are the drunks from the tavern and brainless golems?
— What, did she actually say that?
— Yes, she said exactly that.
— Holy Grail!
— Quiet, don't swear like that.
— Maybe you'll tell me after all? — I tried to persuade him.
— Look at that, how interested you are! No, dear, now I won't just tell you so simply.
— Speak, you scoundrel! — I lunged at Brenn, grabbed him by the ears and began to rub them as hard as I could. Brenn fought back as best he could, but poor Brenn's ears first turned red, then purple, and then I myself became afraid that a little more and he would lose them.
— Enough! I'll tell everything, just let me go! — Brenn hissed, and I loosened my grip.
— Fine. — I said and let him go. — So what did I do yesterday?
— Remember how you were hitting on Roxanne, and she said she didn't think being drunk gave you better chances?
— Yes, I remember, but that was the last thing I remember about that day.
— Don't be upset, I'll tell you the rest. After she told you no for the fifth time that evening, you completely changed your tactics. First, in the voice of a squeezed lizard, you squeezed out: "No problem, dear, but you will still write me love letters for a week of love,"—took a pint of ale, and, triumphantly raising your left hand to the sky, drank it in one gulp, threw the mug on the floor, jumped onto the table, tried for a long time to dance something—I should note that the musicians had long since left the tavern by then—fell off the table, hit your jaw on the floor, walked out of the tavern and slammed the door loudly.
— So that's where this wild toothache comes from. And you, mouse-tail, just left me alone?
— Unfortunately, I didn't leave you. But only when I left the tavern, for some reason you were already rushing up the mountain to the academy of magic. From afar, I saw how you knocked on the door, scattering foul curses in honor of our main enemy—the frozen port, which no decent merchant vessel has been able to enter for 30 years.
— So far it's not sounding very pretty.
— To my great surprise, the mages didn't throw you down the mountain, and the activity itself soon bored you, so you ran up, flopped on your stomach and rolled down the mountain along the icy slopes.
— Strange, how am I still alive?
— Everyone is asking that same question now. Having descended to the market, you ran up to Roxanne's father's stall.
— Holy Grail!
— Exactly. Oh, how many beautiful peaches and pears you trampled! You could have fed a whole army of titans.
— How did Roxanne's father react?
— He chased you all over the market for half an hour, trying to put you on the family pitchfork. You bolted from him faster than a flying dragonfly from a battlefield.
— Of course I would like to be related to their family, but in a completely different way. What happened next with Roxanne's father, and why am I still alive?
— Poor guy, chasing you, got quite agitated, fell, and now lies at home under some quack who considers himself a healer. I think you should pay those expenses.
— Yeah, probably. And also apologize to Roxanne.
Suddenly Brenn turned his gaze toward a couple of visiting gremlins intending to pass by our stalls.
— Oh, look! A pair of gremlins. Want to work?
— No, I'm not in the mood yet.
The words "work" meant the following. The profit from trading apples consisted of three main actions: acquire apples as cheaply as possible, sell them as dearly as possible, and slip as many apples as possible to a passerby. Since when buying apples you always deal with traders just like yourself, there was no hope of buying them cheap here, and saving at this stage was only possible by buying rotten and wormy apples. Charging the buyer a higher price was easier. Among decent traders, this skill is cultivated even before the ability to read and write. But the most profitable and my favorite activity was slipping an apple to a passerby.
It constituted the lion's share of my income and required immense skill. In my circles, I was even known as a master. I could slip up to three apples into a passerby's pocket at once; then an observer from "the side" would expose the "thief" and start a scandal demanding payment for the stolen goods. A noble person tried to give the money as quickly and quietly as possible, sometimes even paying extra for silence. A person with lower moral values agreed to this with difficulty. Gremlins, however, were such vile and disgusting creatures that they could not only refuse to pay for the stolen apples but also take a couple more along with them. When you accuse one gremlin of theft, they appear before you in a huge crowd, rattling chains, shouting: "Justice! There is some!"—shoving and interrupting each other. The profit from deceiving a gremlin was minimal, but the trouble they caused was enormous. Therefore, I refused Brenn's offer. Moreover, gremlins love apples insanely, and I didn't want to lose my best customers.
Who haven't I pulled this scam on: craftsmen and peasants, heroes and commoners, paladins and monks who occasionally visit us, even those who absolutely do not need my little apples. I was so good at this business that people around said: "The Devil himself is a seller of apples!" But the real challenge was slipping an apple to a mage. Mages were everything to the residents of Stormhold: our main military force, our intellectual elite, our spiritual fathers—and in general, they founded our city for their magical practices. And then, unfortunately for them, people like us appeared: apple traders, because one cannot live on mana alone. Therefore, among traders it was very honorable to fleece a mage. They say that throughout the history of Stormhold we have succeeded about twice. To be honest, it seems to me that there is no creature left in Stormhold who has never, to their surprise, found a beautiful apple, or a small pumpkin, or several elegant, tasty and insanely expensive elven cakes wrapped in a plane tree leaf in their own pocket. But what can you do: there was only one market in Stormhold, but very many mouths.
At that same moment, I noticed a female figure approaching my stall with a determined step and clearly ill intentions. Without doubt, it was Roxanne. And from the speed at which she walked toward me, I guessed that she also knew about my yesterday's exploits. Roxanne approached—or rather, ran up to me—raised her right hand and gave me a stinging slap.
— May a thousand cerberuses devour you, scoundrel! — she uttered instead of a greeting.
— Roxanne...
— You swamp lizard, if you do not reimburse my father for all the losses caused by you, then we shall never see each other again.
— But, Roxanne! — I timidly murmured, thinking about what to say.
— What?
— Nothing.
I found no words that could in any way convey my regret and lack of understanding while simultaneously improving my lot. Roxanne looked at me once more. It seemed to me that at the last moment some kind of smile appeared on her face. Turning away sharply, she departed from me no less swiftly.
It was not very pleasant to realize the fact that a huge debt had fallen upon me, caused by my stupidity and inability to control myself. I cursed this ale a thousand times, this tavern, all this filth that accompanies merry company. First, I imagined the sum of money I would have to give Roxanne. Then I imagined what else I could spend it on. The second activity was more pleasant than the first. I had to earn this money as quickly as possible so as not to completely ruin my relationship with her. Among all the girls I had met in Stormhold, except for a couple of noble elven women who accidentally wandered our way, Roxanne seemed the most beautiful to me. She had short white hair, dark eyes, a smooth regular face and a long nose. I especially liked her dry, slightly cracked lips, which I had managed to kiss several times. She was small in stature, but at first glance one could tell that this girl was a true queen of the market, a princess of traders and the dream of all destitute revelers.
After Roxanne's visit, I began to treat those around me differently. Now, when I looked at someone, I quickly calculated how and in what amount of time it would be possible to fish out the maximum number of gold coins from them. Quickly scanning the market square, I realized that right now there was not a single worthy creature on it from whom one could obtain the desired coins, and near my stall the picture was even more depressing: all sorts of riffraff and the lowest scoundrels, like me and Brenn, were scurrying about. From this day on, I needed to earn twice as much as before, and nothing helped me in this matter. And only somewhere in the distance did a ray of hope glimmer.
An old man, apparently a mage, was lingering by the stall of potions and their ingredients, obviously choosing herbs for some magical concoction of his own. In appearance, he differed practically not from an ordinary, hunched-over old man and was dressed in a very worn green coat that had previously been a patterned garment of a mage. He wore a long beard, had no headgear, but thick hair reliably protected his head from the cold. And the main attribute giving him away as a mage was his staff: worn, crooked, made of rotten wood, falling apart literally before one's eyes. It is impossible to mistake a mage's staff for anything else, just as it is impossible not to know its power. And by the color of the staff and the shape of its upper part—the horn—one could guess which school of magic a particular sorcerer predominantly practices.
Adepts of the water school—and such were the majority in Stormhold—used a beautiful blue-colored staff whose horn resembled the structure of a snowflake. The magical staff of those who dealt with the element of fire was scarlet, burgundy or red, possessed many small horns pointing upward, each resembling a flame. The staff of air magic had one, two or three straight horns standing up, and the staff of earth mages was the simplest of all. In appearance an ordinary stick of any wood, crooked, but certainly with a branched end sticking out like animal horns. It was precisely a staff of earth magic that the mage at our market held in his hands.
Lightning-fast, I grabbed the first apple I came across and rushed toward him. I remember that apple well: large, juicy, green, slightly irregular in shape—without doubt, it was my most expensive item, which could be given to someone for a holiday. I decided that if I were to try and deceive a mage, I should do it for a worthy sum.
The old man was focused on choosing a potion, and therefore distracted in other matters. His leather bag hung in such a convenient way that nothing could be pulled out of it or put into it. Passing by the mage, I inconspicuously slid my hand into the bag, placed the huge apple at the very bottom so that he would not feel a sharp change in weight in the bag, removed my hand no less quickly and calmly walked on. When I performed these simple actions, refined by me to the smallest detail, blood literally boiled within me, and as if doing it for the first time, I barely restrained myself from shaking with excitement, although my legs did buckle for a fraction of a second.
Then one had to wait. Let him look around and, best of all, when the "buyer" is approaching the exit from the market, accuse him of theft. The minutes of waiting seemed like an eternity and, when the mage prepared to leave, Brenn ran up to him and uttered the routine phrase:
— My dear sir, do you intend to pay for that apple which you took from the stall of this honorable man?
By tradition, I followed, wondering what was going on. Brenn explained that he had seen with his own eyes how our new interlocutor filched an apple, and I confirmed that indeed today I was missing one, two or even three apples, but could not even think it was this "deeply respected by all" gentleman. Then we together looked at the contents of the "thief's" bag or pockets and "unexpectedly" found the missing apple there. However, to Brenn's suggestion, the mage uttered the following:
— You must be mistaken or confusing me with someone else.
— Then please present the contents of your bag. — Brenn did not lose his nerve.
— That is to say, you claim that I—the keeper of the traditions of the academy, honorary archivist of the magical library, professor of the school of magic, friend and comrade of the former High Mage, magister of the element of earth Solnir, who gave his whole life to the service and protection of Stormhold—have just stolen an apple from you?
"Wow, I've stepped in it!" — I got scared, and calmly said:
— There are suspicions that there is an apple in your bag which is my property, therefore please present the contents of your bag.
— But I didn't even pass by your stall.
"Also true," — I thought, but continued to stand my ground:
— I insist that you show the contents of your bag.
— You insist?
— Yes, I insist.
— Well, very well.
The mage shook all the contents of the bag onto the ground: some useless book, a couple of dry roots, petals, a piece of unicorn horn the size of a thimble—an essential attribute of every magical potion—and that was all. To Brenn's and my great surprise, no apple was found in the bag.
— Well, are you satisfied?
— Yes... I apologize to you...
— It is nothing, — the mage interrupted me — I have heard that sellers in our glorious city are sometimes dishonest of hand.
Uttering this phrase, the wizard turned his back to us sharply and prepared to leave, not only without picking up his property but even without looking at it, giving Brenn and me a chance to properly study the contents of his bag, and the honorable public—the opportunity to enjoy the performance. The sly mage had outsmarted me. Just now he had mockingly dealt with us: filched my apple and gave a lesson in nobility, while himself, apparently, received great pleasure from this. His silhouette slowly receded: worn, almost holey coat, old powder, long beard almost to the knees, dandyish green hat, boots of deer fur. What? A green hat? What kind of fur is it made of? The old man was without headgear just a moment ago, and his gray hair reliably protected his head from the cold. Quickly realizing what was what, I called out to the mage again:
— My dear sir — I paused — do you intend to pay for the apple from my stall?
The crowd looked at me and at the mage who had stopped mid-step in amazement. This was certainly something new for them. Scenes of "discovering a thief" among buyers happened more than once at the market, but no one had ever tried to accuse the same person twice. The mage, who until then had been completely sure of his victory, paused for a moment and, smiling, slowly turned toward me. But his smile meant that despite his defeat, he would stand until the end. Unable to bear the tension, Brenn covered his face with his hand and hurried to get lost in the crowd as quickly as possible. The crowd did not move from its spot, greedily fixing their gazes on us, and waited for what would happen next. At that moment only one thought occupied me: a wizard, especially of such rank, will never admit defeat by an apple trader at the market. Everyone waited to see what would happen next. And then I said:
— My dear sir, do you intend to pay for the apple from my stall or will you accept it from me as a sign of respect for your nobility?
Simultaneously with this, I reached into my pocket and produced a beautiful, scarlet apple that I always kept just in case, which grow in the gardens of fairies not far from the fields of the Young Unicorn. The crowd exhaled. It seemed the mage did too. Suddenly he said:
— I, Solnir, honorary professor of the academy of magic, fifth-generation mage, gladly accept this beautiful apple from you as an apology, but only if you personally bring it to my home. Also, I declare to the honorable public that before you is a noble person with whom, unfortunately, we have had some misunderstanding.
At the mage's words, for some reason the crowd at the market shouted joyfully, clapping their hands loudly, and someone, they say, even fainted in happiness. Whether they were glad that a mage, an honorable mage, for the first time in their memory called a market trader and commoner a noble person, or whether they were simply glad that I remained alive. Never have I seen anything like it at the Stormhold market. The mage turned away from me for the second time and slowly walked home. For the first time an apple was truly stolen from me. For the first time I yielded to my thief but remained grateful to him. For the first time I did not expose a mage and refused to enter the history of Stormhold. Too much new for one day.
http://proza.ru/2012/03/27/1071
And here are the annotation and separate parts
Elsinor, an apple merchant from the snowy city of Stormhold—where mages, nagas, titans, and gremlins live (the Tower castle in Heroes III)—accidentally saves a mage from dishonor, and as a token of gratitude, the same grants him the opportunity to attend a school of magic, which means the chance to become a mage. Following this, Elsinor must choose the element of magic he intends to study and even take exams for a magical rank in order to enter military service. He even participates in the most important events in the city's life, such as the start of the war with the Swamp Kingdom, the desolation of the city, the fall of the mages' power in the city, etc., and meets leprechauns and elves. For those who want to learn more about all this, I recommend reading the text below. Happy reading)
Stormhold
Chapter 1. The Apple of Fate
My family's history knew no other profession than that of an apple seller. My father, my grandfather, my great-grandfather—in short, all the men in our family were apple sellers. Therefore, when I was born 20 years ago, my now deceased grandmother confidently predicted that I would be an excellent apple seller, to which my mother remarked: "How wise are your words, Mother!"—and the men nodded their beards in approval.
According to old Stormhold custom, to determine a child's future fate, as soon as they began to crawl and could more or less distinguish a dog from a frying pan, they were placed alone before an entire arsenal of various objects, such as a horseshoe, a piece of unfinished leather, a goose quill, a purse with money, or, if lucky, a knife, a flute, or a lute. It was believed that the first object the child touched would determine their future profession. One who tried to lift the horseshoe became a blacksmith. He who took up the quill became a literate person and went to serve as an accountant or, as often happened, was an unfortunate poet and a well-known tavern drunkard. The whole family looked gloomily upon a child who accidentally cut their tender finger on a knife blade. It was believed that he would grow up weak or die of his own stupidity. But in most cases, the knives placed were blunt, unable to cut anything at all, and moreover, they were pointed handle-first toward the child. Therefore, when a boy in a family of swindlers, thieves, and murderers looked spellboundly at a knife, and then even tried to take it in his little hands by the handle rather than with his mouth by the blade, the family arranged a grand drinking bout with a traditional knife fight and the tragic death of two or three people.
It is said that in noble houses, a harp, a small pony, or even a volume of first-level magic from any school might be placed before the child. But unfortunately, this only applied to noble houses. Or at least more or less decent ones. In my house, there was nothing before me but apples. And for my family, the main intrigue lay in how much my father could fleece the market for the apple I had chosen.
Our Stormhold was a land of eternal snow, located in a mountain gorge. A home for the lost, a salvation for freezing travelers, a cold grave for many generations of its inhabitants. Winter here began long ago, even before my birth. Right when the current High Mage took charge of the guild. It is said that before him, there were still warm days here. The people in Stormhold can be very loosely divided into those who still remember spring and those who since birth have never seen a single dandelion growing around. The residents themselves love to reminisce about this after sunset in the local tavern. Previously, the "springers" were far more numerous than the "winters." At times, it was quite unsafe for a "winter" to sit in the tavern late into the night. But with each passing year, the "springers" become fewer and fewer. Which works in my favor. Although I wouldn't refuse to see growing grasses and dandelions in our mountains. Previously, they always greeted travelers who arrived in Stormhold with joy and left it with sadness.
The pride of Stormhold is our fortress—a towering white eagle soaring among the rocks, with many defensive towers that have saved us more than once during the Tribal Wars. The second most significant place for life in Stormhold is the tavern—a place where stories of great mages of the past are diluted with ale and wine. There are plenty of houses, as well as stables, which for some reason house not horses, but homeless people. There is also the town hall—a stone building with a huge clock on the central square, where we all paid taxes; the Forum—the center of political life, where the whole city gathers to argue, vote, and make important decisions; an icy bridge to the fortress, and other things. The Tower of magic with its library was always so secret from the common people that any mention of knowledge and magic caused internal disgust in me. The same Factory produces mechanical creatures barely receptive to sorcery. Mages use golems to hone their magical art upon them. Every mage, before beginning their studies, must buy a golem with their own money and attend magic classes with it. Simple students ordered stone or iron golems from the factory, while students from noble families came with gold or even diamond golems—they served much longer than their stone-iron brethren. The palaces of titans and nagas are mysterious and sacred places where a simple mortal never entered. Rumors say that somewhere near the city there is a pavilion of djinns. A mirage that for a second becomes reality. Whoever accidentally ended up there said goodbye to Stormhold forever and lived in the realm of their fulfilled desires. And, of course, one cannot fail to mention the place of my birth and perhaps even conception. I mean the market square.
The market, where my first apple was sold with a small markup, was much more to me than just a market. Everything I have learned in my life, I learned there. Here I spoke for the first time, sold an apple, learned to walk—exactly like that: first I spoke, and then I learned to walk. For in order to sell an apple profitably, one must first learn to speak, while walking, it seemed to me, was not necessary at all: noble people never got off their horses, and the especially noble always had a palanquin and servants. So, the market was much more to me than just a market. I knew everything about it—every mouse hole, every seller, their pedigree back five generations. All my friends worked at the market. All my enemies were buyers there.
Since childhood, I loved counting money. Making it jingle, holding it in my hands, moving it from one stack to another. Every gold coin I earned, I carefully hid from any eyes, saved, stockpiled, and sometimes treated myself or my parents to gifts that were expensive for a little boy. It is hard for me to say why I strove so strongly for wealth. Apparently, my love for shiny objects manifested as a desire to earn as much as possible, and then I simply liked gifting myself or others. And in this, my apples helped me.
— Hey, Elsinor! Are you talking to the apples from a hangover again? — That was the voice of the blond oaf and also my friend Brenn. We traded at neighboring stalls: I with apples, he with pumpkins.
— No, I'm not talking; I'm not some poor mentally ill person.
— Well, don't deceive yourself: after yesterday, everyone in Stormhold thinks you are the very first madman in our city.
— I remember nothing. And I don't want to remember.
— Then I'll tell you!
— And you don't need to tell me that.
— What, you don't want to know the main story of this winter in Stormhold?
— No.
— Then perhaps you want to know why Roxanne declared she won't speak with you until you drop dead and rot in your grave, and the only ones who will attend your funeral are the drunks from the tavern and brainless golems?
— What, did she actually say that?
— Yes, she said exactly that.
— Holy Grail!
— Quiet, don't swear like that.
— Maybe you'll tell me after all? — I tried to persuade him.
— Look at that, how interested you are! No, dear, now I won't just tell you so simply.
— Speak, you scoundrel! — I lunged at Brenn, grabbed him by the ears and began to rub them as hard as I could. Brenn fought back as best he could, but poor Brenn's ears first turned red, then purple, and then I myself became afraid that a little more and he would lose them.
— Enough! I'll tell everything, just let me go! — Brenn hissed, and I loosened my grip.
— Fine. — I said and let him go. — So what did I do yesterday?
— Remember how you were hitting on Roxanne, and she said she didn't think being drunk gave you better chances?
— Yes, I remember, but that was the last thing I remember about that day.
— Don't be upset, I'll tell you the rest. After she told you no for the fifth time that evening, you completely changed your tactics. First, in the voice of a squeezed lizard, you squeezed out: "No problem, dear, but you will still write me love letters for a week of love,"—took a pint of ale, and, triumphantly raising your left hand to the sky, drank it in one gulp, threw the mug on the floor, jumped onto the table, tried for a long time to dance something—I should note that the musicians had long since left the tavern by then—fell off the table, hit your jaw on the floor, walked out of the tavern and slammed the door loudly.
— So that's where this wild toothache comes from. And you, mouse-tail, just left me alone?
— Unfortunately, I didn't leave you. But only when I left the tavern, for some reason you were already rushing up the mountain to the academy of magic. From afar, I saw how you knocked on the door, scattering foul curses in honor of our main enemy—the frozen port, which no decent merchant vessel has been able to enter for 30 years.
— So far it's not sounding very pretty.
— To my great surprise, the mages didn't throw you down the mountain, and the activity itself soon bored you, so you ran up, flopped on your stomach and rolled down the mountain along the icy slopes.
— Strange, how am I still alive?
— Everyone is asking that same question now. Having descended to the market, you ran up to Roxanne's father's stall.
— Holy Grail!
— Exactly. Oh, how many beautiful peaches and pears you trampled! You could have fed a whole army of titans.
— How did Roxanne's father react?
— He chased you all over the market for half an hour, trying to put you on the family pitchfork. You bolted from him faster than a flying dragonfly from a battlefield.
— Of course I would like to be related to their family, but in a completely different way. What happened next with Roxanne's father, and why am I still alive?
— Poor guy, chasing you, got quite agitated, fell, and now lies at home under some quack who considers himself a healer. I think you should pay those expenses.
— Yeah, probably. And also apologize to Roxanne.
Suddenly Brenn turned his gaze toward a couple of visiting gremlins intending to pass by our stalls.
— Oh, look! A pair of gremlins. Want to work?
— No, I'm not in the mood yet.
The words "work" meant the following. The profit from trading apples consisted of three main actions: acquire apples as cheaply as possible, sell them as dearly as possible, and slip as many apples as possible to a passerby. Since when buying apples you always deal with traders just like yourself, there was no hope of buying them cheap here, and saving at this stage was only possible by buying rotten and wormy apples. Charging the buyer a higher price was easier. Among decent traders, this skill is cultivated even before the ability to read and write. But the most profitable and my favorite activity was slipping an apple to a passerby.
It constituted the lion's share of my income and required immense skill. In my circles, I was even known as a master. I could slip up to three apples into a passerby's pocket at once; then an observer from "the side" would expose the "thief" and start a scandal demanding payment for the stolen goods. A noble person tried to give the money as quickly and quietly as possible, sometimes even paying extra for silence. A person with lower moral values agreed to this with difficulty. Gremlins, however, were such vile and disgusting creatures that they could not only refuse to pay for the stolen apples but also take a couple more along with them. When you accuse one gremlin of theft, they appear before you in a huge crowd, rattling chains, shouting: "Justice! There is some!"—shoving and interrupting each other. The profit from deceiving a gremlin was minimal, but the trouble they caused was enormous. Therefore, I refused Brenn's offer. Moreover, gremlins love apples insanely, and I didn't want to lose my best customers.
Who haven't I pulled this scam on: craftsmen and peasants, heroes and commoners, paladins and monks who occasionally visit us, even those who absolutely do not need my little apples. I was so good at this business that people around said: "The Devil himself is a seller of apples!" But the real challenge was slipping an apple to a mage. Mages were everything to the residents of Stormhold: our main military force, our intellectual elite, our spiritual fathers—and in general, they founded our city for their magical practices. And then, unfortunately for them, people like us appeared: apple traders, because one cannot live on mana alone. Therefore, among traders it was very honorable to fleece a mage. They say that throughout the history of Stormhold we have succeeded about twice. To be honest, it seems to me that there is no creature left in Stormhold who has never, to their surprise, found a beautiful apple, or a small pumpkin, or several elegant, tasty and insanely expensive elven cakes wrapped in a plane tree leaf in their own pocket. But what can you do: there was only one market in Stormhold, but very many mouths.
At that same moment, I noticed a female figure approaching my stall with a determined step and clearly ill intentions. Without doubt, it was Roxanne. And from the speed at which she walked toward me, I guessed that she also knew about my yesterday's exploits. Roxanne approached—or rather, ran up to me—raised her right hand and gave me a stinging slap.
— May a thousand cerberuses devour you, scoundrel! — she uttered instead of a greeting.
— Roxanne...
— You swamp lizard, if you do not reimburse my father for all the losses caused by you, then we shall never see each other again.
— But, Roxanne! — I timidly murmured, thinking about what to say.
— What?
— Nothing.
I found no words that could in any way convey my regret and lack of understanding while simultaneously improving my lot. Roxanne looked at me once more. It seemed to me that at the last moment some kind of smile appeared on her face. Turning away sharply, she departed from me no less swiftly.
It was not very pleasant to realize the fact that a huge debt had fallen upon me, caused by my stupidity and inability to control myself. I cursed this ale a thousand times, this tavern, all this filth that accompanies merry company. First, I imagined the sum of money I would have to give Roxanne. Then I imagined what else I could spend it on. The second activity was more pleasant than the first. I had to earn this money as quickly as possible so as not to completely ruin my relationship with her. Among all the girls I had met in Stormhold, except for a couple of noble elven women who accidentally wandered our way, Roxanne seemed the most beautiful to me. She had short white hair, dark eyes, a smooth regular face and a long nose. I especially liked her dry, slightly cracked lips, which I had managed to kiss several times. She was small in stature, but at first glance one could tell that this girl was a true queen of the market, a princess of traders and the dream of all destitute revelers.
After Roxanne's visit, I began to treat those around me differently. Now, when I looked at someone, I quickly calculated how and in what amount of time it would be possible to fish out the maximum number of gold coins from them. Quickly scanning the market square, I realized that right now there was not a single worthy creature on it from whom one could obtain the desired coins, and near my stall the picture was even more depressing: all sorts of riffraff and the lowest scoundrels, like me and Brenn, were scurrying about. From this day on, I needed to earn twice as much as before, and nothing helped me in this matter. And only somewhere in the distance did a ray of hope glimmer.
An old man, apparently a mage, was lingering by the stall of potions and their ingredients, obviously choosing herbs for some magical concoction of his own. In appearance, he differed practically not from an ordinary, hunched-over old man and was dressed in a very worn green coat that had previously been a patterned garment of a mage. He wore a long beard, had no headgear, but thick hair reliably protected his head from the cold. And the main attribute giving him away as a mage was his staff: worn, crooked, made of rotten wood, falling apart literally before one's eyes. It is impossible to mistake a mage's staff for anything else, just as it is impossible not to know its power. And by the color of the staff and the shape of its upper part—the horn—one could guess which school of magic a particular sorcerer predominantly practices.
Adepts of the water school—and such were the majority in Stormhold—used a beautiful blue-colored staff whose horn resembled the structure of a snowflake. The magical staff of those who dealt with the element of fire was scarlet, burgundy or red, possessed many small horns pointing upward, each resembling a flame. The staff of air magic had one, two or three straight horns standing up, and the staff of earth mages was the simplest of all. In appearance an ordinary stick of any wood, crooked, but certainly with a branched end sticking out like animal horns. It was precisely a staff of earth magic that the mage at our market held in his hands.
Lightning-fast, I grabbed the first apple I came across and rushed toward him. I remember that apple well: large, juicy, green, slightly irregular in shape—without doubt, it was my most expensive item, which could be given to someone for a holiday. I decided that if I were to try and deceive a mage, I should do it for a worthy sum.
The old man was focused on choosing a potion, and therefore distracted in other matters. His leather bag hung in such a convenient way that nothing could be pulled out of it or put into it. Passing by the mage, I inconspicuously slid my hand into the bag, placed the huge apple at the very bottom so that he would not feel a sharp change in weight in the bag, removed my hand no less quickly and calmly walked on. When I performed these simple actions, refined by me to the smallest detail, blood literally boiled within me, and as if doing it for the first time, I barely restrained myself from shaking with excitement, although my legs did buckle for a fraction of a second.
Then one had to wait. Let him look around and, best of all, when the "buyer" is approaching the exit from the market, accuse him of theft. The minutes of waiting seemed like an eternity and, when the mage prepared to leave, Brenn ran up to him and uttered the routine phrase:
— My dear sir, do you intend to pay for that apple which you took from the stall of this honorable man?
By tradition, I followed, wondering what was going on. Brenn explained that he had seen with his own eyes how our new interlocutor filched an apple, and I confirmed that indeed today I was missing one, two or even three apples, but could not even think it was this "deeply respected by all" gentleman. Then we together looked at the contents of the "thief's" bag or pockets and "unexpectedly" found the missing apple there. However, to Brenn's suggestion, the mage uttered the following:
— You must be mistaken or confusing me with someone else.
— Then please present the contents of your bag. — Brenn did not lose his nerve.
— That is to say, you claim that I—the keeper of the traditions of the academy, honorary archivist of the magical library, professor of the school of magic, friend and comrade of the former High Mage, magister of the element of earth Solnir, who gave his whole life to the service and protection of Stormhold—have just stolen an apple from you?
"Wow, I've stepped in it!" — I got scared, and calmly said:
— There are suspicions that there is an apple in your bag which is my property, therefore please present the contents of your bag.
— But I didn't even pass by your stall.
"Also true," — I thought, but continued to stand my ground:
— I insist that you show the contents of your bag.
— You insist?
— Yes, I insist.
— Well, very well.
The mage shook all the contents of the bag onto the ground: some useless book, a couple of dry roots, petals, a piece of unicorn horn the size of a thimble—an essential attribute of every magical potion—and that was all. To Brenn's and my great surprise, no apple was found in the bag.
— Well, are you satisfied?
— Yes... I apologize to you...
— It is nothing, — the mage interrupted me — I have heard that sellers in our glorious city are sometimes dishonest of hand.
Uttering this phrase, the wizard turned his back to us sharply and prepared to leave, not only without picking up his property but even without looking at it, giving Brenn and me a chance to properly study the contents of his bag, and the honorable public—the opportunity to enjoy the performance. The sly mage had outsmarted me. Just now he had mockingly dealt with us: filched my apple and gave a lesson in nobility, while himself, apparently, received great pleasure from this. His silhouette slowly receded: worn, almost holey coat, old powder, long beard almost to the knees, dandyish green hat, boots of deer fur. What? A green hat? What kind of fur is it made of? The old man was without headgear just a moment ago, and his gray hair reliably protected his head from the cold. Quickly realizing what was what, I called out to the mage again:
— My dear sir — I paused — do you intend to pay for the apple from my stall?
The crowd looked at me and at the mage who had stopped mid-step in amazement. This was certainly something new for them. Scenes of "discovering a thief" among buyers happened more than once at the market, but no one had ever tried to accuse the same person twice. The mage, who until then had been completely sure of his victory, paused for a moment and, smiling, slowly turned toward me. But his smile meant that despite his defeat, he would stand until the end. Unable to bear the tension, Brenn covered his face with his hand and hurried to get lost in the crowd as quickly as possible. The crowd did not move from its spot, greedily fixing their gazes on us, and waited for what would happen next. At that moment only one thought occupied me: a wizard, especially of such rank, will never admit defeat by an apple trader at the market. Everyone waited to see what would happen next. And then I said:
— My dear sir, do you intend to pay for the apple from my stall or will you accept it from me as a sign of respect for your nobility?
Simultaneously with this, I reached into my pocket and produced a beautiful, scarlet apple that I always kept just in case, which grow in the gardens of fairies not far from the fields of the Young Unicorn. The crowd exhaled. It seemed the mage did too. Suddenly he said:
— I, Solnir, honorary professor of the academy of magic, fifth-generation mage, gladly accept this beautiful apple from you as an apology, but only if you personally bring it to my home. Also, I declare to the honorable public that before you is a noble person with whom, unfortunately, we have had some misunderstanding.
At the mage's words, for some reason the crowd at the market shouted joyfully, clapping their hands loudly, and someone, they say, even fainted in happiness. Whether they were glad that a mage, an honorable mage, for the first time in their memory called a market trader and commoner a noble person, or whether they were simply glad that I remained alive. Never have I seen anything like it at the Stormhold market. The mage turned away from me for the second time and slowly walked home. For the first time an apple was truly stolen from me. For the first time I yielded to my thief but remained grateful to him. For the first time I did not expose a mage and refused to enter the history of Stormhold. Too much new for one day.