Posts from Divine Journey

Lol. If you're feeling salty, go see a doctor. After the game resumes and we reach the finale, I'll explain why I went into the forest.

I'm about to get a serious case of battle hurt from the chronic battle hurt of half the players.

What does a walk in the forest have to do with anything? The logic is completely off the charts.

The flashes and thunder of teleportation caught the Master of Espionage off guard, and he tumbled from his chair, hitting the back of his head painfully.
- TAAAAYMOOOOON!!! YOU SCARED ME! - the boss stammered. - I MEAN, WHAT IF I HADN'T BEEN ALONE?! WHAT IF I WERE HAVING A MEETING OR IF I WERE HERE WITH A WOMAN?! WEREN'T YOU TAUGHT TO KNOCK? HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHERE YOU WORK?
- If I had seen your person here with a woman, I would have thought I'd walked through the wrong door, - the old prankster smirked.
- SHUT UP! AND YOU HAD BETTER GIVE ME THE RESULTS OF YOUR WORK, OTHERWISE... - The Master turned as crimson as was possible for someone with black skin and reached for the desk drawer.
- Everything's fine, boss! I was in Deepwell on your orders.
- AND?!
- All good, here is your ointment, - Arnz handed the oily tube to the boss. - And what a witch works there, a regular red-haired vixen! Oh, how we bargained, how we bargained...
- I HOPE YOU REMEMBER THAT NOT A WORD OF THIS TO ANYONE, OTHERWISE I'LL SKIN YOU ALIVE? - The Master, glancing furtively around his tiny office, hid the tube under a folder of parchments.
- Of coooooourse! - the inspector raised his palms and put on his most vile and fake smile. - You know my word is granite!
The boss remained silent for a while while Taimon stood in that pose.
- NOW GET OUT, WHY ARE YOU LINGERING!
- But I'm not lingering. Listen, boss, I've found out something interesting...
- NOT NOW, TAIMON. I NEED TO... ATTEND TO... BUSINESS. - the boss glanced at the stack of parchments under which he had hidden the tube; his face expressed suffering and large drops of sweat, rolling down from his forehead, splashed onto the desk.
- Just let me tell you first, it's interesting! Anyway, I went to wet my whistle at the local dive, and I caught an interesting sight! Guess what? - the inspector asked, leaning on the desk and meaninglessly shuffling the papers scattered across it.
- I AM NOT GOING TO GUESS ANYTHING, YOU ARE MY SUBORDINATE AND YOU WILL LAY IT ALL BARE FOR ME, OTHERWISE I'LL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF AND PLAY BALL WITH IT!
- Oh, you, - Arnz smiled fatherly. - So there I was! I walk in, and there's a knife fight! Well, "knife fight" is a strong word...
The inspector thought for a few seconds.
- Well yes, a knife fight! Some bald guy, sort of like you, and a shaggy one, well, roughly speaking, like me. Or like your wife.
- GET TO THE POINT!
- Right! Anyway, I walk in, perform a Push, and they all fly apart like bowling pins! Ha-ha-ha! You should have seen their faces! One of them hit the counter and his head snapped! Just like a ragdoll! Ha-ha-ha! - the inspector burst into laughter, and his boss joined him, dabbing the corner of his eye with a handkerchief from an excess of emotion.
- HA-HA-HA, YES, YOU ARE QUITE THE JOKER, TAIMON! HA-HA-HA! SOMETIMES I EVEN REGRET THAT, GIVEN YOUR ASSETS, YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT! HA-HA! WHAT DO YOU EVEN DO IN THE AGENCY? HA-HA-HA! - the boss choked with laughter.
- Ha-ha!.. Uff... Right! - the inspector continued. - So, I sat them down and demanded explanations. Well, while the owner was bringing me a pork chop. One of them immediately soured, the shaggy one.
- AND THE OTHER ONE? THE BALD ONE?
- And the second one started throwing threats at me, saying he's an ambassador, or not, war, assassination, his eyes even lit up, he was almost foaming at the mouth! Ha-ha! Now that was funny! Anyway, I made them pay forty coins for the stool, just for the laugh.
- YOU'RE BOLD, TAIMON! A STOOL COSTS TEN COINS, I WENT TO THE STOOL SHOP YESTERDAY.
- Ha-ha! Well, just for the laugh! Then I split it with the owner.
- AND WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME ALL THIS AND WASTING MY TIME?! - the Master gnashed his teeth.
- To report that I decided to tail them! They're very suspicious. The first group, four people, headed to Erasem and went to an inn. And I beat them there! I carried out the surveillance using this magnificent invention, - the inspector pulled a piece of parchment with two slits in the middle from his breast pocket. - It allows you to track people absolutely without any suspicion! I swear it!
- IF YOU DON'T PRAISE YOURSELF, NO ONE WILL! STOP KISSING YOUR OWN BACKSIDE AND FINISH THE REPORT!
- Right! A bit later, a second group followed, twice as large. I sent my assistant after them... - Arnz gave a conspiratorial wink, causing his old face to wrinkle even further.
- THE STRAW GOLEM?
- Precisely. I embedded him in a peasant's cart and he reported their movements to me.
- I TOLD YOU LONG AGO TO THROW HIM OUT OR BURN HIM! - the boss spat, fidgeting in his chair.
- He helps me a lot, boss... And he deserves his wages, - the inspector whispered with a serious face. - Either way, they are all in Erasem now and I will continue to tail them!
- WHY? YOU KNOW I WON'T PAY YOU FOR THAT.
- We'll see about that, Master! - Taimon slapped the boss on the back and stood up. - Permission to leave?
- GET OUT!
- Sir... - the inspector hesitated. - I've been working for you for fifty years, and a question keeps bothering me... Why do you always scream? You can't seem to talk normally at all.
- GET OUT OF HERE! GET TO WORK!!! - The Master ripped a shoe off his foot and threw it at the inspector, but missed by two meters and broke the window.
- Yes sir! - Taimon saluted and teleported. A monstrous vortex scattered the papers around the office, and sparks nearly singed the boss's robe.
With a trembling hand, the Master dug out the tube, opened it, and frantically squeezed some onto his palm. Instead of medicine, there was mustard in the tube.
- TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - a terrible roar tore through space.

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Lol. Go to the doctor for your butthurt.

A mountain of butthurt.

butthurt is happening. =[/QUOTE]

If you're butthurt, go to the doctor.

you'll only achieve BUTTHURT.

expressed the reasons for butthurt and described its colorfulness.

the most powerful butthurt.

felt the wildest butthurt.

butthurt x)

causes butthurt x)

You're butthurt and losing.

this guy is butthurt.

this is butthurt.

more butthurt.

You're really butthurt.

overripe butthurt.

Butthurt?

butthurt.

Butthurt -

are you butthurt?

BUTTHURT

Heal yourself first before sending others to the doctor

Ha-ha-ha, Locken, thanks. I had a good laugh. We need more Taimon.

Hey, don't worry so much. We messed up with the windows, but we'll fix it soon.
Oh yeah, I didn't read about what happened in Deepwell's tavern, I just glanced at it, but Locken is as great as ever.

Soul. That's exactly what you want to expect from an expedition.
Actually, at first, I thought he was holding an umbrella instead of a crossbow.

I liked both drawings. Let's see more!

What’s going on? Who upset Revan again?

Dude, it's not about being "offended" or having some kind of quirk; I just want to play the game in a way that no one argues with me about the in-game events or its elements, or tries to "prove" something, and so on. That's what's annoying.

I understand. Well, it seems to me that you, as the host, obviously have a more objective view of the game than any of the players, so trading with either side isn't really appropriate. And I don't see any reason for it yet: the game seems to be going well enough. I mean, don't pay attention to it.

Alright, let's see.
A free mercenary, a resident of the Dungeon, an aristocrat, water and fire mages, two snake people, a mage hunter, a battle earth mage, a dwarven warrior, a poison specialist, and an imperial general find themselves in an unexpected situation. They all came to the "Cozy House" with a specific purpose, but now each of them is surrounded only by damp cave walls, a cold tiled floor, and steel barred doors. All their belongings are gone, and their bodies are covered only with dirty rags, which barely resemble clothing.
They begin to wake up, and none of them can remember how they got here.
___________________________________________________________
... Bai Feng and Fang Pei find themselves in the hall again, where, as before, they can go straight, left, or right. Also, in the center of the hall was a chest, on the lid of which was depicted a warrior who had defeated some monster, and on some objects that looked like buttons, one could see the symbols of fire, water, and ice.