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Posts from Moldy Pearl Barley

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15 years ago
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So, I'm finally posting my "pearls" here. I'm presenting them along with my own comments (periodically there are also comments from the moderators of that site, or same ones edited by them). Naturally, some may find certain pearls, or the comments on them, controversial. But to each their own. Although, to be honest, my comments really aren't the funniest; then again, they are old.

An'shi gazed upon the clover glade somewhere near the oases in the steppes. Am I the only one who thought of a UAZ after reading this?

-Brothers and sisters, after many years we have found a home and new allies in the form of orcs wh-what? O_o, now we can return to Mulgore and restore our strength before the coming great darkness. We must help our new allies and protect our Mother from the legions of the damned. There's definitely some profanity veiled here, I'm sure of it -_-

she was always an optimist when her brother was killed she chopped his head off with a sword Chopped her brother's head off while he was being killed. Optimism is just overflowing.

i arrived in storm wind signed up as guards of Storm Wind became a warrior once there was a fight with an old man he won The guards in Stormwind are great, nothing to say.

This gnome was born with a wrench in his hands, gifted in mechanics Well, you can see for yourselves

Razorfen downs is how one of the players called "the Barrows of the Needle-Skins". By the way, there's absolutely no explanation as to why the hell a "blood elf paladin" went there; I won't even mention that chronologically they didn't exist yet.

-- mu-ga-ga-ga...!!! – the laughter of the elf rolled like thunder through the entire tavern. An elf? O_o'''

Almost all of the Horde, and even the Alliance were asleepas one forum member put it "Such concepts simply do not exist in a NEUTRAL goblin city..."

Without thinking long about an attack plan (this isn't in the list of paladin habits at all Leroi, is that you?

the enemy will laugh over his corpse same character sheet, a paladin laughing over a corpse...

honor is not the main thing, honor is the main thing no comments even needed here XD

Tomorrow I'll tell all my guildmates about my first kill. This is my first honor! That character sheet again

Rockstar character name, roleplay server, no comments necessary.

After some time, I was born! Holding me above his head against the starry sky, with the picture completed by the noise of music and people's screams, he said "Rockstar"!!! The Lion King? O_o'''

I killed families and small villages. To kill a small village. Does that sound right?

poros-to no one has distorted the word "prosto" (simply) like this yet XD

As soon as they opened slightly, the troll flew out like from a cannon and lunged at the girl, striking her with a huge fist that had brass knuckles made of wild cat skull bone and spikes from bear claws.this is what happens when you write without commas XD

She began to calit and surprisingly she coughed up blood. Is "calit" what I think it is?

Andoriel felt some attachment to her, no he didn't fall in love, a backstory for a Demon Hunter; though I think the full weight of this pearl will only be appreciated by those well-versed in the lore

Abruptly folding their weapons, the newcomers clapped their hands. Demon Hunters too XD

Andoriel sat nearby on a chair and looked at the elf with a smile. A Demon Hunter, smiling... just a little lamb O_o'''

police captain of their town. Police of our town, it's Warcraft, damn it.

I as if I such pseudo-quenters XD

also continued to rub the apple, with a cunning gaze penetrating, it seemed, into every crack. Apples have cracks O_o'''

it turns out in one of the auditoriums. Like everything that was in Dalaran – this is an Auditorium Cap, is that you?

Appearance: Dark hair, scar on the left wrist muuuutant

But after the story she told. I hated Arthas Menethil — the Lich King who was currently in Northrend and spreading the scourge, and fear. Could the great son of the king - a great warrior who lost his mind actually do such a thing? no comments necessary

his face was handsome and his eyes, nose expressed wisdom, will and bravery.

He practiced shooting on simple trees, and became a hunter-killer of simple trees.

She didn't understand the beauty of even such swampy terrain. truly strange.

how one day two attacked his house Ittolya

Alveola great name for an elf girl, right?

moved to another table. But the guys didn't get the hint and followed her. indeed, why sit at a table if you can sit on one?

Forty minutes later, in an alley near the Stormwind bank, two sailors of the "Fearless" were found beaten half to death... Hibari Keia? and generally why are guards standing by banks, for decoration?

Two death guards- old and young how can such a concept even be used for undead?

After 5 years bandits attacked Moonbrock. We all tried to beat them back from whom?, but there were more of them.

the wounds began to sew themselves up.

My name is Enri Norado, I am 32 years old and live in one of the Stormwind taverns. pauuuuper

And now I've grown up; of course, I won't become a warrior, but I decided to become a rogue, because I really love it when no one notices me, I love to sneak up quietly on the victim and strike suddenly. someone please explain to the child that rogues do something else

I learned to masterfully scatter knives around myself you don't even need to learn this XD

he turned sharply and with all his might hit me on the head with his staff, letters and stars appeared in my eyes need to watch fewer cartoons >_>

who put two hands forward and something gave me a blow to the head my not understand this text

why a traveler, because there are many people in the world who need someone liquidated so that business can boom. Another "Super-Travelers Club" I assume? XD

Nickname: Young. Age: 32 Years. Hair: Greyish-black, mustache. Face: Has wrinkles. The people who gave the nickname are clearly not strangers to irony

...that I am how I am, I'm a burden for daddy... he is cunning... treacherous... he got rid of me... I believed him one last time... naive... stupid... I cursed that day, I hate him for fooling me and I hate myself for believing him, I hate that I found out... the truth. Why do I look at everything in dark colors again? I've seen a beautiful life, it's full of happiness, love, freedom... it's a dream life, yes-yes... the author's dream... a well-written dream, one wants to live in it and be happy, fooled, but happy... or no, maybe it's better to see the truth? The one that makes you sick, that dirty, mean, vile truth that ruins moments, breaks fates... breaks the illusion. The truth is so pure that it can harm... daddy doesn't love the truth. so many.... ellipses... in the speech... of a down-syndrome girl....

Mother didn't really want to part with her son, and neither did father, but Tommy didn't have blacksmith or engineer professions...what a "subtle" weaving of game mechanics into the backstory XD

Knight Alexian was at that time on the slope where the archers were based. He raised his hand and gave the order to open fire, so that the allies would retreat. uhhh... logic, hello?

Several arrows pierced the dragon's wings and this infuriated it even more. It dove down and landed right in front of Alexian and screamed piercingly. The knight drew his sword and with a battle cry went at the beast. He cut the monster's leg while it tried to grab him with its hands Dragons have become quite handy these days O_O'''

The knight rose from the grave and fell on the floor Question: where was he buried then? O_o'''

he entered the city and saw hundreds of oil skeletons and all sorts of filth, he realized that he was home. touching, isn't it? =)

who left the village with a sword and shield good thing not from the village hidden in the leaves XD

Her father, Severus, once known as one of the best warriors of the North, was the only one. But he is too old. Therefore Ron went to other places - he wished to find a worthy teacher. athe author is clearly an avid HP fan O_o''''

And on the way you can come across fragrant grass, so that later you can lay it by the walls. Both father and girl liked their aroma. Moreover, Altair often had headaches, and a pleasant smell helped to deal with this. uhhhh... nuff said

She hadn't managed to get far enough away from home when she heard a woman's scream. It came from the other end of the village the girl has good hearing, I must say

Ben caught up with her, armed with a pitchfork. Yellow stems of dry grass hung from the tines; Ben was probably dealing with hay. so that's who attacked the village!

Ben stubbornly lifted his chin, but under Altair's gaze, full of reproach and determination, he gave in:
- Fine, Ellie. I'll be back quickly, with the guys. Did you hear? It turns out the protagonist of Assassin's Creed can be called Ellie for short

During the crossing of the Arathi lowlands they encountered the Warriors of Khazmodan. Father and mother decided to give the children to the Dwarves and decided to go their own way. How these caring relatives delight me.

- Hey kid, got any money or somethin' else? ,-Asked a huge, bald guy with a broken nose Azeroth gopniks, that's how they are

William in panic painfully poked the one with the dagger in his most preciousX_x, in the eye the eye? O_o''

Oh holy gears... and this was said by a High Elf, and not at all a gnome or goblin

In childhood, when he played with his friends he climbed a tree; Mad climbed higher than the others, but the branch he grabbed to reach a quarter of the mighty tree and finish their game broke Cap is hinting - if the branch broke, then it was far from being a tree...

He was no longer a youth, no – he was a guy and what's the difference? O_o''

One day while sitting in the local tavern, a man approached Madock miracles, indeed, happen in local taverns

Madock fell to the ground, he began to shake

After a couple of years Mad came to his senses. Remember the joke about the giraffe? Exactly, similar case

The thing is, fearing fire, the forge was near the river; what a clever forge; and behind it was the Dark Forest. And that's exactly when they came from there. A trio of terribly smelling creatures, barely stepping uhhh... homeless people?

Five years of hard labor... But at least I understand metals. And I have mastered engineering to perfection... uhhhh... where's the logic? O_o'''

- And what will we do there?
- Live...

I was born in a time of absolute calm, when the Second War was won by Gul'dan's stupidity. And I thought the Alliance won...

I quickly drew my knife and cut off his head.Well, food is guaranteed today! O_o'''

Half a year passed and Gregor mastered the science, and achieved considerable success in making poisons.

Coming to the house of the killer who dealt with his brother, the killer asked for a final word. Nani? O_o''

-Jonathan Blackstone, you are accused of insolence toward a superior officer Justice is such justice.

Green Iron Haburek good thing not cheburek

Drinking to the state of manure human transmutation in action!

PUNISHMENT: beheading, hanging, burning at the stake The judge is a sadist, of course, but I'm curious how he plans to hang a headless body?

3 months later he was charged under article 352; his vessel was sunk in forbidden territorial waters interesting reason for an accusation

1 guard - A few moments ago I considered public insult a serious crime, but this....Why do so many pseudo-quenters strive so hard to humiliate the guards?

Both guards hurried to the exit. One of the guards exclaimed:
-I forgot my sword, go without me, I'll catch up. No, but why do they hate the guards so much?

2 Human-ish (meaning he doesn't mind having a glass or two in the tavern If we follow this logic, then I am inhuman...

Long friendly and peaceful, treating everyone like family, they split into two fronts:
Some relied on their "Iron Friends" and their muscles. my your not understand

Thoughts prevented him from thinking original XD

Tonight he didn't close his eyes for a long time; when he remembered the old man, his longing for him only increased. I'm not being dirty ><

so that they wouldn't fall into the service of bad person`Ganisu and I kept thinking he was a Nathrezim >_>

her bottom reminded him of a cherry, it made one want to give it a gentle slapum... everyone has their fetishes >_>''

He reminded Pete of a worm. Only big, important and with a tuft of hairDo not try to imagine this

I was still a bad person then, and didn't know who orcs were, and crawled out from under the bed and went to the window. Uhhh...

Seeing his parents, but they were dressed like a guard who was shouting something. O_o''''

got a job as an assistant worker in the port of Stormgrad one letter in the name changes everything! The funniest part is that the author thinks this is the correct name.

He was glad he moved in with his brother; here everything was different: instead of a huge estate in the middle of the city there was a small house on the outskirts, instead of a huge double bed there was an old uncomfortable couch that somewhat resembled a table. he's a masochist, though

These are two pearls merged into one; there are two more parts. Post them?
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15 years ago
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Post more. There are a couple that I didn't find funny, but it's all a matter of taste. Some of them were so bad that they made me want to crawl under the table.
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15 years ago
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Thank you. I will post the other two parts soon (the fifth one is still being compiled).
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15 years ago
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I read the first three, didn't understand your local humor, and I'm too lazy to read any further.
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15 years ago
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That’s because you’re a bad person, you don’t know what orcs are, and you crawled out from under the bed and went to the window.
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15 years ago
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Orcs? I think there were a few running around, distracting and annoying us.
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15 years ago
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Didn't understand your local humor.
I had no doubts. That's why I wrote yesterday that not everyone would understand, because I felt it.
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15 years ago
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I was laughing until I cried!... These are true masterpieces; can I use this phrase in my signature? -
Thoughts prevented him from thinking
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15 years ago
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Yes, you can.
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15 years ago
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yes, I liked that phrase.
But there's so much written there, and I didn't like it at the very beginning, so I don't want to read it.
Just write the funniest ones.
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15 years ago
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The whole Haven was laughing.
In reply to Imaris
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15 years ago
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Imaris, the Moon Wolf
Why don't you just write the funniest ones?
Don't be lazy, read it. Everyone has their own preferences.
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15 years ago
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I think I’ll go and fight some Orcs instead.
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15 years ago
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Exactly, no need to strain your brain, otherwise it might harden. Better let it loosen up a bit more.
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15 years ago
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I really have to think hard when I'm killing Orcs)).
I come up with elaborate ways to do it.

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