Werevolka
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I came across an elegant classification of the creatures inhabiting the internet today. Perhaps some will find it interesting, or some will recognize themselves:
The "Dark Side of the Force" Grouping
Troll
This is the canon.
This is the one whom all sane inhabitants of the internet avoid by a mile, and whom the boldest and most dim-witted dream of clashing with in battle. To think that you can stand as an equal against a true Troll is foolish and dangerous. Such a creature can be handled either by a saint with nerves of steel, a dozen vaccinations against provocation, and a crystal-clear internet biography (remember, Yandex and Google remember everything!), or by a Jesuit, or another Troll who decided to amuse themselves out of boredom.
Often, no other options are given.
Picky about food—despises vegetarian fare, leaving it to the Goblins. He wants meat, and the heartiest kind.
Most often walks through blogs with the heavy tread of a Commander accompanied by a retinue that instantly swarms wherever the main holy-war starter has come to feast.
Ogre
A thick-headed and massive relative of comrade Troll. Specifically, he is distinguished by blunt trolling methods and an impenetrable hide. It is useless to argue, shout, or try to prove anything to an Ogre—you risk running into the phrase "Butthurt detected!" and mockingly laughing emojis. The Ogre doesn't care who, when, or in what quantities they eat—his digestion, much like his self-esteem, is something everyone would wish for themselves.
There are several methods of resistance: ignoring, banning, or a collective chorus: "You are a troll! Begone, demon!". If the chorus of those agreeing with this opinion reaches the size of the Pyatnitsky Choir, perhaps the Ogre will leave, realizing that the show is over and the free ride has ended.
Goblin
A petty troll. And I should note, not a subtle one, but specifically petty. He rarely dares to engage in full-scale trolling alone; therefore, he most often travels in a friendly school of toothy piranhas across territory marked by the main Troll.
Capable of gnawing to death those whom the senior comrade didn't finish off. Over time, through diligent note-taking of a true Troll's actions and absorbing the acquired knowledge, he may grow into a serious combat unit that poisons network life.
The "Light Side of the Force" Grouping
Paladin
A classic of the genre—absolutely delightful. He believes holy-ly in the infallibility/sinfulness of whatever he got into an argument over. What is most interesting is that yesterday he also believed holy-ly in the completely opposite point of view and is sincerely surprised when solitaire games made of notarized screenshots, copy-pastes, and other quotes from his own comments begin to be laid out before his bright gaze.
A Paladin is tasty, very tasty. He falls for trolling "on a dime": he flares up like a powder magazine with the same special effects—he begins scribbling posts and showering blogs, ICQ, and VKontakte with screenshots, calling upon supporters and like-minded people; in short, he burns, sparks, emits smoke, and curses using multi-story unprintable constructions.
A desired prize for any troll. Bon appétit.
Noble Knight
Adheres to his own personal code and set of rules.
Usually doesn't fall for it on the first try and can be quite reasonable in the embryonic stage of a holy war. But with proper processing, he begins to lose his temper, boil over, and then reveals significant gaps in his armor. Which any minor troll will immediately not fail to strike.
Once touched a raw nerve, the Noble Knight almost always turns into a fervent Paladin with all the resulting consequences. However, he doesn't completely lose his inclination for analysis and almost never stoops to outright rudeness and swearing.
He is, after all, a knight of noble image, as it were.
Squire
Almost as foolish as a Paladin, but serves as a source of fewer lulz because half of his sententiae can be attributed to general youth, greenness, and inexperience. Therefore, his nutritional value is comparable to a salad or some cucumber—good for an appetizer, but the feeling of satiety passes quickly.
Jesuit
Heaven forbid you run into a true Jesuit. This is the same Troll, only somehow he ended up on the other side of the force. An individual hardened in past battles and knowing all—I repeat, all—the intricacies of this god-pleasing business.
Possesses skills in demagoguery, casuistry, dialectics, and other methods of verbal abuse with equally terrifying names. He virtuously wriggles out and pins the opponent down with their own facts. A master of "obosnuy" (justification) and copy-paste. Banned from Google for excessive knowledge. If necessary, he will quote you excerpts from the Old Testament, Malleus Maleficarum, Vedas, Thor, Poetic Edda, Arthurian legend, Mahabharata, and other Ramayanas.
Better not to get involved, and if you do, part ways amicably. Fortunately, the Jesuit is well aware of his power, so tormenting simple mortals doesn't interest him. But he may engage in a deadly struggle with a good, quality troll, and then he will gladly recall the skills of an inquisitor acquired during his turbulent youth.
The "Forest Folk" Grouping
Elf
You never know what's on their minds, those long-ears.
He was walking through the woods, you see, stopped by for a light—and stayed to warm himself. He usually starts by subtly mocking, nodding along with the instigators of an argument. After such approval, Paladins and Squires often have their helmets knocked right off their visors, and then they rush into battle with a fervor worthy of better use. Trolls only chuckle and, most often, leave the agitators alone.
But if suddenly the Elf feels that the Troll is shifting some attention from the victim to him, he quickly disappears into the forest depths and prefers to observe from afar. If nothing else, you certainly can't deny the sharp-ear wit and sense of appropriateness.
However, sometimes an Elf can be reborn as a Knight, and then arrows, spears, and swords are briskly readied.
Wondrous Elf
A strange subspecies of the previous type. He is wondrous, bright, and untainted. Entering a discussion and seeing that the opponents' eyes are already filling with blood and smoke is coming out of their ears, besides sprinkling numerous emojis into the discussion (the popcorn-eating emoji is particularly popular), he may suddenly proclaim: "Guys, let's all get along!". After which, quite likely, he will receive non-illusory kicks from all sides.
He differs from a Druid in that he calls for peace not because he craves harmony, but simply because he is wondrous.
Generally harmless, but sometimes an irritating type due to his lack of understanding of the situation.
Druid
To put it in the words of a certain Vash the Stampede, "Love and peace, my dear ones!" And may harmony be with you, otherwise he will stun you with a staff so hard that you'll have a bad time.
These are advocates of universal peace, tranquility, and happiness. Moreover, true advocates—ideological and consistent. Hard to break through. Because one usually arrives at such ideas after having seen and experienced something in this life. They rarely enter others' nervous discussions, and on their own territory, they simply cannot stand holy wars; therefore, they suppress them instantly and ruthlessly, usually not stooping to total fencing-off, but simply closing the comments to the post.
Trolling them is useless. It's easier to respect them. By the way, there is almost always something for that—at least for the same consistent ideology of Tolstoy's non-resistance to evil by violence.
The "Passing By" Grouping
Scout/Spy/Thief
Walks everywhere, looks everywhere, sniffs everything out. Systematically subscribes to all participants of the conflict, no matter how many there are, in order to be able to stay current with the latest changes in mood. He derives true pleasure from the process of a holy war, but doesn't get into it himself. Why bother? After all, all the most interesting things can be observed anyway without putting one's own ego on the chopping block.
He almost never falls for trolling, as he immediately slips away, unwilling to get involved in conflict. In the event that a particularly favorite sore spot is suddenly touched, he may defect to any side, trying on the masks of a Goblin, Paladin, Noble Knight, or Elf.
Pilgrim
A vivid representative of the "Passing By" movement.
He really did accidentally stumble upon your holy war—noticed it in a friend-feed or discovered it while lazily pressing the "Random Diary" button. Your squabbles will occupy the Pilgrim exactly as long as it takes to drink a cup of coffee on a working afternoon—so don't be fooled, he doesn't care about you. He just needs to fill a stretch of time while waiting for a demotivator site or a YouTube video to load.
Necromancer
For him, there is no concept of "second freshness." His motto: came, saw, revived.
By what convoluted paths Necromancers stumble upon the traces of holy wars is unknown. But where sometimes only lazy bickering in comments or total silence remains of former greatness, he will not be too lazy to leave one more comment.
Depending on the Necromancer's skill, he may either finally drive the discussion into the grave or revive it from the ashes and start the flywheel of battle anew. In both cases, he quite quickly and satisfactorily retreats into the shadow and leaves—his job is done.
The "Other Vermin" Grouping
Chimera
A cross between a bulldog and a rhinoceros, a Troll and an Elf, a Knight and a Goblin—in short, quite a medley.
Usually, a Chimera comes into a discussion, reads-observes, puts in their "two cents"... And then the most interesting part begins.
Depending on mood, digestion, or the position of planets on the ecliptic, the Chimera can change testimony and, accordingly, the side of the conflict in almost every comment. He might support the "dark" side and start biting the victim's backside significantly, or conversely, suddenly stand up for a trampled honor—from his point of view—and fight no worse than a true Paladin.
The Chimera is quite elusive and gripping. You can catch it by the tail, but remember that it has at least more than one tail.
Dragon
A sort of militant advocate of morale, ethics, and other socio-immaterial substances that few people in holy wars are interested in.
In his trumpet voice, "Repent, sinners!" is constantly heard. And if the participants of the holy war even mildly ignore the calls, the Dragon begins to heat up and lavishly scatter common phrases: "How can you say such a thing!", "This is unethical!", "And what have you achieved in this life yourself?!", "Don't be rude!" and so on and so forth. To this, he is usually reasonably told that he can deliver platitudes at a lecture, but here people are busy with business, so don't interfere. After which, from the raging Dragon spitting fire in all directions, one can get a decent portion of lulz.
source:
http://www.disciples3.ru/forum//topic/at/245245/
The "Dark Side of the Force" Grouping
Troll
This is the canon.
This is the one whom all sane inhabitants of the internet avoid by a mile, and whom the boldest and most dim-witted dream of clashing with in battle. To think that you can stand as an equal against a true Troll is foolish and dangerous. Such a creature can be handled either by a saint with nerves of steel, a dozen vaccinations against provocation, and a crystal-clear internet biography (remember, Yandex and Google remember everything!), or by a Jesuit, or another Troll who decided to amuse themselves out of boredom.
Often, no other options are given.
Picky about food—despises vegetarian fare, leaving it to the Goblins. He wants meat, and the heartiest kind.
Most often walks through blogs with the heavy tread of a Commander accompanied by a retinue that instantly swarms wherever the main holy-war starter has come to feast.
Ogre
A thick-headed and massive relative of comrade Troll. Specifically, he is distinguished by blunt trolling methods and an impenetrable hide. It is useless to argue, shout, or try to prove anything to an Ogre—you risk running into the phrase "Butthurt detected!" and mockingly laughing emojis. The Ogre doesn't care who, when, or in what quantities they eat—his digestion, much like his self-esteem, is something everyone would wish for themselves.
There are several methods of resistance: ignoring, banning, or a collective chorus: "You are a troll! Begone, demon!". If the chorus of those agreeing with this opinion reaches the size of the Pyatnitsky Choir, perhaps the Ogre will leave, realizing that the show is over and the free ride has ended.
Goblin
A petty troll. And I should note, not a subtle one, but specifically petty. He rarely dares to engage in full-scale trolling alone; therefore, he most often travels in a friendly school of toothy piranhas across territory marked by the main Troll.
Capable of gnawing to death those whom the senior comrade didn't finish off. Over time, through diligent note-taking of a true Troll's actions and absorbing the acquired knowledge, he may grow into a serious combat unit that poisons network life.
The "Light Side of the Force" Grouping
Paladin
A classic of the genre—absolutely delightful. He believes holy-ly in the infallibility/sinfulness of whatever he got into an argument over. What is most interesting is that yesterday he also believed holy-ly in the completely opposite point of view and is sincerely surprised when solitaire games made of notarized screenshots, copy-pastes, and other quotes from his own comments begin to be laid out before his bright gaze.
A Paladin is tasty, very tasty. He falls for trolling "on a dime": he flares up like a powder magazine with the same special effects—he begins scribbling posts and showering blogs, ICQ, and VKontakte with screenshots, calling upon supporters and like-minded people; in short, he burns, sparks, emits smoke, and curses using multi-story unprintable constructions.
A desired prize for any troll. Bon appétit.
Noble Knight
Adheres to his own personal code and set of rules.
Usually doesn't fall for it on the first try and can be quite reasonable in the embryonic stage of a holy war. But with proper processing, he begins to lose his temper, boil over, and then reveals significant gaps in his armor. Which any minor troll will immediately not fail to strike.
Once touched a raw nerve, the Noble Knight almost always turns into a fervent Paladin with all the resulting consequences. However, he doesn't completely lose his inclination for analysis and almost never stoops to outright rudeness and swearing.
He is, after all, a knight of noble image, as it were.
Squire
Almost as foolish as a Paladin, but serves as a source of fewer lulz because half of his sententiae can be attributed to general youth, greenness, and inexperience. Therefore, his nutritional value is comparable to a salad or some cucumber—good for an appetizer, but the feeling of satiety passes quickly.
Jesuit
Heaven forbid you run into a true Jesuit. This is the same Troll, only somehow he ended up on the other side of the force. An individual hardened in past battles and knowing all—I repeat, all—the intricacies of this god-pleasing business.
Possesses skills in demagoguery, casuistry, dialectics, and other methods of verbal abuse with equally terrifying names. He virtuously wriggles out and pins the opponent down with their own facts. A master of "obosnuy" (justification) and copy-paste. Banned from Google for excessive knowledge. If necessary, he will quote you excerpts from the Old Testament, Malleus Maleficarum, Vedas, Thor, Poetic Edda, Arthurian legend, Mahabharata, and other Ramayanas.
Better not to get involved, and if you do, part ways amicably. Fortunately, the Jesuit is well aware of his power, so tormenting simple mortals doesn't interest him. But he may engage in a deadly struggle with a good, quality troll, and then he will gladly recall the skills of an inquisitor acquired during his turbulent youth.
The "Forest Folk" Grouping
Elf
You never know what's on their minds, those long-ears.
He was walking through the woods, you see, stopped by for a light—and stayed to warm himself. He usually starts by subtly mocking, nodding along with the instigators of an argument. After such approval, Paladins and Squires often have their helmets knocked right off their visors, and then they rush into battle with a fervor worthy of better use. Trolls only chuckle and, most often, leave the agitators alone.
But if suddenly the Elf feels that the Troll is shifting some attention from the victim to him, he quickly disappears into the forest depths and prefers to observe from afar. If nothing else, you certainly can't deny the sharp-ear wit and sense of appropriateness.
However, sometimes an Elf can be reborn as a Knight, and then arrows, spears, and swords are briskly readied.
Wondrous Elf
A strange subspecies of the previous type. He is wondrous, bright, and untainted. Entering a discussion and seeing that the opponents' eyes are already filling with blood and smoke is coming out of their ears, besides sprinkling numerous emojis into the discussion (the popcorn-eating emoji is particularly popular), he may suddenly proclaim: "Guys, let's all get along!". After which, quite likely, he will receive non-illusory kicks from all sides.
He differs from a Druid in that he calls for peace not because he craves harmony, but simply because he is wondrous.
Generally harmless, but sometimes an irritating type due to his lack of understanding of the situation.
Druid
To put it in the words of a certain Vash the Stampede, "Love and peace, my dear ones!" And may harmony be with you, otherwise he will stun you with a staff so hard that you'll have a bad time.
These are advocates of universal peace, tranquility, and happiness. Moreover, true advocates—ideological and consistent. Hard to break through. Because one usually arrives at such ideas after having seen and experienced something in this life. They rarely enter others' nervous discussions, and on their own territory, they simply cannot stand holy wars; therefore, they suppress them instantly and ruthlessly, usually not stooping to total fencing-off, but simply closing the comments to the post.
Trolling them is useless. It's easier to respect them. By the way, there is almost always something for that—at least for the same consistent ideology of Tolstoy's non-resistance to evil by violence.
The "Passing By" Grouping
Scout/Spy/Thief
Walks everywhere, looks everywhere, sniffs everything out. Systematically subscribes to all participants of the conflict, no matter how many there are, in order to be able to stay current with the latest changes in mood. He derives true pleasure from the process of a holy war, but doesn't get into it himself. Why bother? After all, all the most interesting things can be observed anyway without putting one's own ego on the chopping block.
He almost never falls for trolling, as he immediately slips away, unwilling to get involved in conflict. In the event that a particularly favorite sore spot is suddenly touched, he may defect to any side, trying on the masks of a Goblin, Paladin, Noble Knight, or Elf.
Pilgrim
A vivid representative of the "Passing By" movement.
He really did accidentally stumble upon your holy war—noticed it in a friend-feed or discovered it while lazily pressing the "Random Diary" button. Your squabbles will occupy the Pilgrim exactly as long as it takes to drink a cup of coffee on a working afternoon—so don't be fooled, he doesn't care about you. He just needs to fill a stretch of time while waiting for a demotivator site or a YouTube video to load.
Necromancer
For him, there is no concept of "second freshness." His motto: came, saw, revived.
By what convoluted paths Necromancers stumble upon the traces of holy wars is unknown. But where sometimes only lazy bickering in comments or total silence remains of former greatness, he will not be too lazy to leave one more comment.
Depending on the Necromancer's skill, he may either finally drive the discussion into the grave or revive it from the ashes and start the flywheel of battle anew. In both cases, he quite quickly and satisfactorily retreats into the shadow and leaves—his job is done.
The "Other Vermin" Grouping
Chimera
A cross between a bulldog and a rhinoceros, a Troll and an Elf, a Knight and a Goblin—in short, quite a medley.
Usually, a Chimera comes into a discussion, reads-observes, puts in their "two cents"... And then the most interesting part begins.
Depending on mood, digestion, or the position of planets on the ecliptic, the Chimera can change testimony and, accordingly, the side of the conflict in almost every comment. He might support the "dark" side and start biting the victim's backside significantly, or conversely, suddenly stand up for a trampled honor—from his point of view—and fight no worse than a true Paladin.
The Chimera is quite elusive and gripping. You can catch it by the tail, but remember that it has at least more than one tail.
Dragon
A sort of militant advocate of morale, ethics, and other socio-immaterial substances that few people in holy wars are interested in.
In his trumpet voice, "Repent, sinners!" is constantly heard. And if the participants of the holy war even mildly ignore the calls, the Dragon begins to heat up and lavishly scatter common phrases: "How can you say such a thing!", "This is unethical!", "And what have you achieved in this life yourself?!", "Don't be rude!" and so on and so forth. To this, he is usually reasonably told that he can deliver platitudes at a lecture, but here people are busy with business, so don't interfere. After which, from the raging Dragon spitting fire in all directions, one can get a decent portion of lulz.
source:
http://www.disciples3.ru/forum//topic/at/245245/
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