Posts from History

...what they went through...

...past his kebab stand without buying anything...
...but then he appeared on the street...

he... is all-knowing and all-seeing!.. the brilliance of his spectacles illuminated the entire street with a wondrous light, but then immediately...

...those smooth-talking guys. They convinced him, and taught the nine-headed goose how not to put meat in shawarma, earning them huge profits! Overjoyed, the nine-headed goose...

....:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: ...
...breathed fire and set the town hall ablaze, and immediately, guard warriors appeared...

and killed him.

To be more precise, it was one of its heads, from which two more grew.

And at that time, on one of the streets of Manhattan, a one-legged snail was running away from an asphalt paver...

Right into the black hole created by the evil scientist who decided to conquer the world.

But at that time, the ruler of the world started having lunch and decided to stop time.

and then he pulls out of his pocket... Danissimo!

Chapter I

Entry in the ship's log #147, dated 08/02/1612.

"It has been raining for about 17 days straight. We are still wandering through the endless expanses of raging waves, hoping to finally see at least a small piece of land... This was supposed to be a short and very profitable journey, but this damned storm ruined all plans, struck us with this immeasurable divine punishment, and now our frigate is carried away like a twig from the sea routes, and even the crab and Capricorn, patrons of the celestial vault, are now hidden behind the darkness of the clouds. The wind mercilessly tears and flutters the sails, carrying us, perhaps, to the edge of the human world, where the waters of the ocean plunge into the raging abyss of ages, into the maw of the monster of all monsters, the lord of Tartarus... The crew is anticipating imminent death; there are only enough salted biscuits left for about a week... some spend their days in drunkenness, gambling, and other worldly sins, while others blame me. But what have I, a humble servant of Victoria, done to deserve their angry gaze! It seems a mutiny is brewing... this Simon, a vile ship rat, is the one who has been stirring things up. Well, let's see if the impostor has enough courage to declare all this to my face, but for now, my best and most loyal friends are gunpowder and a sword.
Ah, could it really be that all misfortunes have befallen us only because of her... the devil Eurydice... I don't care about all the beliefs of our ancestors; perhaps this is my punishment... But the choice has already been made, there is no turning back. I can already feel the breath of death, and the last ember is fading. Perhaps when someone reads these lines..."

At that moment, another gust of wind finally extinguished the candle... I was left alone in the darkness, alone with all the demons of my sinful thoughts. And what if... my gaze fell on the dimly lit revolver... No! I am not that weak! And at the same time, I covered my face with my hands to hide my tears from the muse of despair... but still... my hand reached for the handle on its own... I looked for a long time into the meaningless darkness, which at that moment meant almost everything. I saw a garden, a wonderful garden where grape vines climbed the marble walls... the place of my childhood, let it be... however, one more touch of the trigger and I will already be there, goodbye, sorrow. Everything flashed before my eyes in the last minute, the last moment, and... bang!
The cabin door opened, and I was splashed with salty wind and spray from the waves. The cabin boy stood there, a little stunned, but I signaled for him to speak.
- C... Captain!... There, in the fog...
- I knew the monsters of the abyss had come.
- ...in the fog, I see some unknown land..."

...And at that moment, I felt as if I had grown wings! I jumped up and instantly rushed onto the deck, where I took out my spyglass and saw... a mysteriously shimmering island...

What the hell...

"What the..." - said the drunken sailor in a turquoise rag, and tumbled overboard.

but a crab saved the drowning sailor and dragged him back on board, lol.