I'm very, very angry with myself.
And what was the point of all this?..
In the world, people are starving, homeless people are sleeping in basements, and "this Lokken!.."
...
Okay.
Something got to me.
Whatever.
In such cases, I usually don't allow myself to wallow in despair for too long. But this time, I messed up. Am I getting old?
Ugh..
Damn it...
In short, I was wrong. About everything. Now I'm full, healthy, and happy again. Let's say that. The end of the story.
...Twelf, strangely enough, I often hear such conversations. And the ultimate demagogue is Mikhail Zadornov.
"Only a Russian person!..
We'll crush everyone!"
But it's all self-deception. Brilliant in its simplicity. That's the slovenly character of our citizen.
It's not the 19th, or even the 20th century anymore. Today, technology decides everything. "Those" rockets won't save us. I read an article about them. There are very few of them, and the Americans have plenty of rockets. Besides, they are actively developing all sorts of gadgets, hoping to control near-Earth orbit.
I'm not panicking, on the contrary, these facts give meaning to existence. If there is a war, and we don't die right away, I will gladly take up arms.
I want to... get revenge. On everyone. On the whole world. For various life failures. For all the pain that I personally have endured, and that unhappy people in general have endured. For the injustice that poisons and even destroys lives.
That's what kind of idealist I am.
An eye for an eye?
What do I care? I'm calm now. Like a snake.
Hmm.
Only war can reveal all those qualities in a person that are hidden within him.
Or maybe... we will meet during or after the war...

