Today marks 3 months since I became a mom, and exactly a year since I started taking the pills that made it possible. Since I'm not some life-blogger and don't do anything on those social medias of yours, I decided to pour my heart out here at least. Maybe someone will decide to embark on the path of parenthood.
For example, that same Nebok might decide to knock up his faithful Scottish alt-girl, and won't know what awaits him.I'll start
with the cons and difficulties. For me, it's been full hardcore since the first month of pregnancy, because there was an immediate risk of miscarriage. I was lying in the "best hospital in the city" in extremely shabby conditions. I'm embarrassed to ask what the other hospitals are like. Later I also spent time in the regional hospital, where they sewed everything up good and tight, thereby eliminating further risks of giving birth prematurely.
I was throwing up throughout the first half of the pregnancy, because I have GI issues + the child predominantly has my husband's genetics, and that, as it turned out, makes pregnancy harder. Though, I was also throwing up in the last weeks of pregnancy, because by the end all my insides were squeezed by my ribs under my chest and sometimes I thought I'd just suffocate.
The
birth itself went without major problems, but due to distrust of the local doctors, I had to spend 40k on tickets for a close person who works as an obstetrician in Komsomolsk. And although that person couldn't do anything directly, I felt calmer with her. Still, the team we got was good, everything went relatively normally, but personally I won't be repeating that kind of ride. And since I've been through it, I can officially state: everyone who invites non-medical men to childbirth is out of their minds. Because deliberately psychologically traumatizing a person without medical education is insane. For a C-section maybe it's okay, since nothing will be visible. In general,
2 out of 10. I added points for the joy of being pregnant and the moments of kicks in the belly, since that doesn't hurt and gives the feeling that everything is fine inside.
Everyone usually whines about
dealing with diapers and poop — well, that's complete nonsense. On the contrary, you're happy that the child did their business during the day, you silently wash their butt and that's that. Changing diapers is the easiest thing in parenthood, period. You can safely give it
10 out of 10.
Feeding. First, big breasts don't guarantee milk. Second, formula feeding is hard. Cooking and feeding on a schedule, constipation, colic, gas, allergies, the child refusing to eat — all of these are possible side effects of artificial feeding. You can't just switch from one formula to another if something's wrong — that can lead to even bigger problems.
For the first 1.5 months we simply didn't sleep. Little Nayra screamed because she had colic. And baby Espumisan caused a severe rash that we treated for over a month. Often I had to pray to all possible gods just for her to poop at all. Later the situation stabilized, and she started sleeping normally.
Now there's another problem — she throws tantrums when we feed her. She started eating little, with hysterics. Either her teeth are starting to cut early, since she keeps putting her hands in her mouth, or it's a reaction to the medicine the neurologist prescribed to prevent intracranial pressure, or just age-related changes in general. Today we have a weigh-in at the clinic, and I suspect they'll hit us with underweight, and that's also problems. In general, feeding and nutrition overall
4 out of 10. Still, modern chemistry allows you not to leave a child hungry. And I can afford to drink and eat whatever I want, since it's not dangerous for little Nayra.
Healthcare — a special delight. Our clinic is a 30-minute walk away. You can take a bus for 10-15 minutes, but with a stroller it's horribly inconvenient. They don't let you inside with a stroller, you have to park it outside and pray to all the gods that nobody steals it, since there are no cameras there. With you, besides the child in your arms, you have to carry a bag with diapers, changing pads, and pacifiers (preferably two, since the examination causes hysterics, and pacifiers often end up on the floor of that very clinic).
I don't know how it is for others, but specifically for us the nurse likes to schedule not all possible examinations with specialists on one day. That would be fine, but the times are set so that you either sit there like an idiot for 1 hour with a child in your arms, or you have a visit in the morning, then after lunch/evening. Or both in one day at once, just to make sure it's fun. So
2 out of 10, because it's conditionally free.
Hiccups. Not as big a problem as described above, but sometimes it's a real pain in the ass. Especially at night or early morning when you're hoping to sleep. The reasons are always different: the child ate too much and threw up, the child swallowed air and is now suffering, and, suddenly, the child is cold. The kid doesn't suffer much from this, but overall it's annoying.
0 out of 10, some nonsense nature came up with for no reason.
Postpartum depression. Seems like it's not about everyone, but it is about me. When I went to the gynecologist for the mandatory check-up, the questionnaire showed that I need help from a psychologist, or better yet, a psychotherapist. And that was already during the period when my condition had improved.
Actually, when my daughter was throwing lots of tantrums, not letting me sleep, do any housework, or take care of myself at all, sometimes I genuinely had thoughts of roskompozor myself. Which would have been extremely stupid, considering how much time, effort, and health I spent to bring little Nayra into this world. My husband got involved from the moment I was discharged and helps when he can manage to take a break from work, but it wasn't enough (and honestly, it still isn't).
In October, my mom, after another conversation, realized I wasn't coping, bought tickets to Voronezh and came to us for a month. It got easier, because I learned what we were doing wrong. Plus, the day before she arrived, my daughter's body finally adapted to the formula, and the colic that kept everyone awake gradually faded away. It became easier to establish a routine and sleep, and I got time for myself. The whole month it was easier to interact with my daughter, since mom took over the household chores.
She left 2 weeks ago. In principle, I was already managing. But now the feeding hysterics have started, and I have no idea how to sort this out, because I can't stop the medicine that presumably messed up her nerves. My psychological state until recently was
0 out of 10, mom's help —
10 out of 10.
An iPhone from my husband for my birthday, since my 6-year-old droid broke, and he wanted to somehow express that he understands how bad I feel, 8 out of 10.
Also, my husband and I have developed an addiction to energy drinks against the backdrop of all this fatigue. And that's a problem for many modern parents — the neighbors' child is 1 week older than ours, and we regularly spot either energy drink cans or 0.5 L coffee cups in their stroller parked at the entrance to the building.So that this post doesn't look like one continuous whine and childfree propaganda, I'll also talk about the
pros.
Continuing the bloodline. I like that with my brown eyes, I managed to snag my husband's eyes and get a blue-eyed blonde. I sincerely hope that by 6 months the traits will hold, and we'll actually have a win in the genetic lottery. Though, we'll have to actively fend off the ethnic minorities, because they love girls like that. I hope her character and temperament come from her dad too, because I myself couldn't handle a second full-fledged Nayra in the house. In general,
10 out of 10, it's cool when you see a combination of yourself and your loved one. You won't get that with a baby from domestic baby boxes.
Child development. When I do stuff with her, interact with toys, coo at her — I genuinely rejoice at the results of our joint efforts. The more interest she shows in everything, the better I feel, and I want to see what comes next and what new skill she'll master now. Sometimes it's a pain, sometimes you have to read up on what can be done, sometimes internet advice is complete crap, and grandma's methods are outdated and can even be dangerous. But overall, it's more cool than not.
9 out of 10, minus a point for the fact that sometimes you have to drop everything and bust your ass to create optimal conditions for games and skill development.
For example, mopping the floors every day, when you can't be bothered to do it even once a week.
Emotions and smiles. At first I didn't pay much attention to her smiles, because she could smile and then immediately burst into tears out of nowhere. And sometimes she just smiles while eating. Over time, my daughter started smiling when she passed gas or went to the bathroom, which was more comical. And only later did a conscious smile appear. First at the sight of people by the crib in general, and then, after the animation complex, only at me and my husband. She genuinely rejoices when people talk to her, play with her, interact with her. Sometimes she happily coos, sometimes she smiles ear to ear. I haven't seen such pure and sincere joy over any little thing in a very long time. And that's the one thing that, in the hard moments she herself is the source of, lifts my mood and creates the feeling that all this hassle isn't in vain. 10 out of 10.
The photo was taken a month ago, just as an example of what brought joy.
