Posts from Route Auto-translated

Had a conversation with my dad today. He kept asking me all day why I looked so unhappy – about my facial expression, and then he asked if anything specific was bothering me. I replied that it wasn't anything specific, but life in general. And he asked me, "WHAT'S WRONG?" Lol)000000 So I asked him back, "What do you mean, what's wrong?" And he replied with something along the lines of, "Well, our family lives like this... some people live differently..." I got so annoyed by this, not least because I had the thought – what if my pessimistic attitude is caused not so much by my life experience, but by genetics?

what if my pessimistic attitude is caused not so much by my life experience, but by genetics?

It's a combination of things. One thing builds on another, and that's what you get.

As for me, I simply ignore such questions from my family. I just stay silent and don't answer. I think everything should be clear without words. And if it's not clear, then that's not my problem.

I usually don’t mind it either, but today it felt a bit too intrusive.

All together. One thing builds on another, and you get what you get.

I agree.

This kind of behavior and persistence, with a complete lack of understanding of your feelings, is common in many families. I don't know about other countries, but in Russia, it's definitely the norm.
At least your parents don't demand that you become a human larva.

At least your parents don't demand human larvae from you.

Lel.

>Woke up in the middle of the night.
Nausea.
Headache.
Tachycardia, high blood pressure, I was literally shaking.
I felt like something was eating away at my internal organs in the abdominal area.

There was no time for philosophizing this time. Now I'm completely exhausted.

Added 18 minutes later
Luckily, today is a day off, because if it were a workday, I would have just told my boss to go to hell. I simply don't want to go from one room to another, let alone work.

Yesterday, I felt the same way, by the way. And since I'm not used to this state, I decided that maybe this is it, the sesame seed of death has arrived. Awful sensations, I must say. However, I survived and feel great today.

༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ TAKE MY ENERGY, REVAN ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

It happened before. I applied plantain you know what it's called and it went away, and I even started doing better in school.

Added after 51 seconds
Anyway, it will pass; it's called psychosomatics. Although sometimes you just end up being physically exhausted.

I would, but I should go to the doctor.

>you know, I lost my arm
>yes, yes, I perfectly understand your feelings, I once cut my finger – it was so painful, terrible
: )

:)

Hmm... Well... What can I say? Today, I once again realized that I am already dead. In the not-so-long years of my life, I have experienced a lot, been upset, been angry at fate, and given up. I had modest, yet unattainable dreams. Almost everything was predetermined by fate, and my desires never mattered to it. No matter what I did, I was destined to rot in a sick body and in a place that I despise. Today, I wanted to end it all not so much because of mental suffering, but because of physical pain. In the chaotic thoughts, one idea was indeed discernible: to stop suffering. Then, when I finally made it to morning, during the day, I suddenly realized that since I am already on the edge, I have nothing to lose by trying to move forward. And it doesn't even matter if my efforts will pay off or not. As long as my hands and feet are not bound, as long as my mind is thinking, no one will stop me from banging my head against this wall, trying to achieve what I want. I will simply imagine that I am already gone.

Live,
Be dead,
Be absolutely dead —
And do whatever you want,
Everything will be fine.

This topic is becoming even more depressing and gloomy than the one about mood.