Congratulations.

As has become a tradition, I want to thank everyone who congratulated me on my birthday. Thank you. I also want to thank those who wanted to congratulate me but didn't for some reason. And most of all, I want to thank those who wanted to write something bad about me on this day but changed their minds. Thank you.
P.S. (Information for the one who prefers to sleep in a coffin rather than a bed). I specifically provided the exact date of my birth for you. I hope that in the future, before addressing someone as "kid" when their profile doesn't have a "date of birth" field, you will think... at least not to be a b*tch.