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I would choose pirates! More, more fun, my more! (C) Lukashenko
There are objectively strong players who should be captains a priori - like Diabler, Grizzly, etc. - and then create a pool of players from everyone who signed up, and randomly assign them to groups. And with the objective opinion of 5 guys, correct the randomness - for example, I'm the captain of "Stolichnaya" - and I randomly get Bubuch and y2noob, while Khalatini gets Dau and EgieT - we swap EgieT and Yura - the groups become more or less balanced, and according to the algorithm... the point is that groups chosen by the players will always be unequal, but this way - well, it seems to me that it will work, and yes, 3 people.