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Good afternoon! We are reporting live from our special Olympics. There is no doping control at our Olympics. Yes, yes, the athletes are NOT tested for doping. Not at all. So...

-A Finnish athlete jumped 27 meters. A very, very good result for a chess player.

-Thirteen killed and sixty wounded. This is the result of an unsuccessful curling throw.

-Sergei Bubka has just completed a pole vault. The audience is eagerly waiting for him to finally land.

-The javelin throwers were especially impressive today. The result: two Boeing planes shot down... and one Sergei Bubka.

-The Chinese gymnast has been spinning on the bar for the third hour now...

-The organizing committee has decided not to allow the hammer throwers to compete today, for safety reasons.

-And in the marathon, a runner from Kenya traditionally wins. He is the only one who made it to Kenya.

-It has just become known that the entire organizing committee has disappeared somewhere. And the hammer throwers are coming onto the field.

-The Canadian cyclist hastily forgets his bicycle... but this does not prevent him from finishing first!

-Meanwhile, the Chinese gymnast continues to spin on the bar...

-The hammer thrower makes a throw... and the Chinese gymnast seems to have finished spinning.

-And finally, our traditional quadrathlon. Let's watch the performance of the Russian athlete. Here he runs a thousand meters.

He jumps with a pole. He lifts the barbell. He runs a hundred meters. He puts down the barbell.

Puck, puck! Checkmate! Goal! Excellent result! And the athlete starts the second round.
Умирает не тот, кто устал, а тот, кто остановился.

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