Heaven or Hell?

This is a serious question, and I need some food for thought, so your answers should provide it.

...when I finally got around to listening to this Japanese artist's albums, I was incredibly surprised in a very pleasant way, and I thought that nothing like that could happen again.

Based on certain topics on the forum, or rather, my posts, you can tell that I am an extremely depressed and unhappy person (for many reasons that I don't need to discuss). And although this is indirectly related to this topic, it's not quite what I'm talking about... In general, I spoke about my admiration for this musician completely sincerely, and I can say without exaggeration that his music is the best thing that has happened to me in the last five years. And before that, I was a carefree and moderately happy sixteen-year-old, so that period doesn't count. For me, this is one of the few proofs that there can be wonderful things in life (my life). This music can give me a huge boost of positive energy or, conversely, touch my angry, black, and callous heart.
And, in general, I started thinking... What if I could play? Of course, we don't even need to think about professional skills, but at least some decent level, so that I could enjoy playing this instrument? Would it bring me at least a little bit of happiness? Would it add some bright colors to my gray soul?
I really want to find out, but many things scare me. First, it will, of course, require money, which means I won't be able to just "mess around" with it. At the same time, I'm afraid of how a possible failure might affect me. And there are many reasons to fear such an outcome:
I'm almost twenty-two years old, I've never played a musical instrument, I have a number of mental and physical disorders, and I've never had any talent for anything.