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I am the guardian of the artifact, the book of primordial Chaos. I was thinking of moving it to another location, but to open the room where it is stored, I need to curse all the elemental dragons and Ash herself!!! Also, I need to eat the heart of the book's lord (he is in this hall; he was punished by Urgash for disobeying him). This is a very serious step, and I cannot take it.
I'll get a bottle of wine, go look for the book lord's grave, and mutter to myself: "Curse you, Ash, and your offspring too!" When I find the grave, I'll gather my courage and eat the heart, washing it down with wine (and then my character will probably